It's been a little over four months since my father died of terminal illness, agent orange, and cancer of the brain and lungs. Today is his 75th birthday and to celebrate my little sister and I are making his favorite cupcakes that are Samhain themed. We'll also be doing a house cleansing ritual as well since we're moving. She's good about all of this and seems to be more interested in my beliefs now because they are helping her heal since she is still only fourteen years old and now without the father she adored. I wrote a little something for him that popped in my head and I thought that I would post it as not to forget. I'm not speaking in third person today because I am not feeling myself. I know that I will see him again, but I'm still upset that he left this life without fulfilling a promise he made to me. I was his nurse for the last week of his life and it pained my heart so much to see him in the condition he was in. I stayed with him as often as I could and was with him when he passed in the early hours on June ninth. His death has taken the biggest tole on me because I honestly believed he would live to see his grandson turn ten, if not at least his youngest graduate from college. He was a very strong man, my only role model in life and the smartest and kindest person I have ever met. His life was normal up until the few months before his passing. I put this under life issues because it is an issue that is effecting my mental health do to the fact that I can not show my upset near my mother. She doesn't even know it's his birthday today.
Daddy you're the burning light in my heart,
And as the year passes I miss you more,
These past four months you've missed a lot,
The warm summer's breeze,
All the branches now bare,
I know we'll meet again someday,
In a different time or another life,
I will always love you now and forever,
So on your birthday I hope your soul is happy,
Enjoy your time with the god and goddess,
Just remember you promised me the summer,
So I'll hold you to it when you come back again.
