The Sparkly Life of Lulu.

[Fee blanche]

I've been debating doing this or not.
But I do need a place to rant and write out what I feel.

I am Lulu, and I'm not as active in this guild as I wish to be.
I am currently 15 years and 9 months young.
I was born in England and wish I still lived there, because me and America don't get along.
My sexuality.. it stays the same, but I keep finding new words to describe it.
I'll make a post about it later.

I have two siblings, a brother who is amazing but pushes me away, and a horrible, rude little sister.
My parents are bland, and I'll talk more about my Mum later, I have a lot to say about her.

That's pretty much the basics.

Let us go onward!

 

[Fee blanche]

Sexuality/Gender

Well, there is three parts to this..

1. I am asexual, I have never been interested in what's downstairs.
I get that sex is used to reproduce, but I don't get why people do all that other unnecessary stuff.
I mean, I get that some people enjoy it, but it's just not something for me.
This frustrates me kind of, because I can be quite perverted, but it's hard for me to distinguish which gender I like when I don't like sex from either.

2. I like girls, as a girl I would then be a homosexual.

3. I am genderqueer as hell. I have no idea what my gender is. Some days I feel like wearing a dress and being a girl, others days I curse my breasts and everything else.
I guess I would say I'm 'third gender' or just fluid, probably.
I think I will try to go to therapy, because I do want to go on T and get surgery.
I would love to talk to someone who is having similar gender issues c:

Coming out.
I recently came out to my Mum, and a bunch of my friends already knew, it was something casual with them.
The school I go to is absolutely, completing accepting of any sexuality/gender, so I've gotten no prejudice.

My Mum confused me slightly with her reaction. I told her one night and all she said was, "Okay, so what?"
So I just said, "I just wanted you to know." Then I went to bed.
The next day she came into my room and we had a big talk about it.
To summarize what she said is that I'm young and I haven't experienced anything.
That I need to go out and explore everything and everyone.
She pretty much told me to have sex with everyone, even after I told her I had no sexual attraction.
The real kicker was that she said while I did all this I needed to get straight A's in school and be a super genius.

Sorry, I can't do that.

 

[Fee blanche]

So there's this LGBT group in my town and I know quite a lot of people that go there.
I've only been once and I didn't tell my parents about it, but they found out afterwards xP
I met some really cool people there and it's really fun, with different themes and such each week.
The week after I went I asked my Mum if I could go again, and she seems really weird about it and she told me to talk to my Dad about it.
But I don't talk to my Dad about personal stuff, so I didn't.

I haven't gone for almost two months, and I'm just nervous about bringing it up with my Mum.
I asked her today and she seemed really uncomfortable.
It's like she thinks if I go there then I'll become "more gay" or something.
It's just a fun hangout thing each week, lots of people there are straight or bi, not just homosexual.

I really enjoyed it when I went and I don't know how to get my Mum to understand that it's purely innocent.

Well, there is a lot of drama/dating between everyone that goes there..
but other than that it's harmless.