[ scraps of the mind ]

[Freiflug]

Warning: This journal is mainly for me to get random thoughts down. I will not be concerned with spelling, grammar, etc or sounding coherent. It's just scraps of my mind: the current thoughts and feelings I have at the time. Thanks!

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12/7/2012
2:27pm EST
listening to; self esteem by the offspring


i feel weird. it's like my head isn't on quite right; it wants to tilt to the side, but then it hurts. my stomach hates me. i think i might be tired, too. my teeth feel gross, and now i can feel my eyebrows. becoming aware of one's eyebrows isn't fun. it prompts me to constantly touch them and "smooth them out" when there's nothing to smooth. aaaaaaaaah

back to my teeth: i can't brush them 'cause i'm not home. i hate not having clean teeth. my head hurts just thinking about it.

also i found the toilet clogged (idk who did it) and i really hate that. of course i fixed it, it'd be rude not to but while i did so water splashed up on me. gag. there was no soap though in the bathroom. :'C not even liquid or bar-form soap so i had to use this 'body wash' crap to smear on my arms. it felt gritty... like sand. the texture was cool and it smelt interesting. then i found two bottles of this body spray stuff and squirted myself a few times with one of them. i think while sampling the other it misted onto me too.

the smells made my head hurt worse.

i wish i could fall asleep. maybe i will when i go home, after brushing my teeth. but i also want to finish reading the book i got from the library. i owe them a lot of money from when i was a kid. somehow my name and data is still in their database even if i haven't been to the library in forever, but my boyfriend has a library card so ******** 'em. then i must re-read the hobbit and finish it before the 14th.

sometimes i wonder how people make friends on gaia. is that sad? i found a picture that sums me up:



i wish i had money, cause i'd like to purchase some body spray, a gingerbread house kit, this cute mug with a fox design that comes with some mint hot cocoa, and the walking dead game. all the money my bf and i have earned so far though goes towards food so we and my cat can eat, though.

that reminds me how i miss living with my mom and her husband. also i miss my cat. i can't wait to go home and see him.

i still don't feel good.

 

[Freiflug]

12/8/12
9:28pm EST
listening to; talk to me by villebillies



don't you worry about them monsters, they'll make good company.  

[Freiflug]

12/9/12
1:34pm EST
listening to; the tv and my boyfriend sniffling/restraining tears



i have learned the ultimate truth in life's biggest lie. there is no such thing as happiness. only temporary time frames of being OK.

unrelated, my english muffins taste like s**t. dieting makes me angry. ******** whole wheat.


 

[Freiflug]

12/9/12
1:40pm EST
listening to; the tv and my boyfriend sniffling/restraining tears



i just remembered i pre-ordered tickets to the showing of The Hobbit on the 14th. cost me 30 bux. it was nice spending money on something other than ********' food. i hope by then things will be OK and we can go see it without being the miserable pieces of s**t we are.

i finished my book. i must read the sequel, and re-read The Hobbit still. 50pgs a day is a good goal, right? i don't know...

i like finding pictures on tumblr cause i can relate to stuff. it's like, wow, that's so me!

like so:



though i use to play LOTR online with a friend. i miss those days. i miss my character. she's fearless, strong, snarky. and an elf.