Welcome to Gaia! ::

Because they're not exactly in journal form, and I would like help, if you wanna give it.

1: I've been crying for the past few hours
2: My family life is a wreck; my parents keep yelling about how they wish someone else or themselves could just win money so they could leave and nt turn back.
3: The above confession is the reason for the gross sobbing
4: I'm 18 years old, and I truly relate to Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore, as well as Emilie Autumn's "Swallow"/Wayward Victorian Girl mentality because I mentally live as my Wayward persona as a defense mechanism. Her name is Nettie, despite my pen name being Onyx. I often have conversations with her, which is like the common equivalent of talking to oneself.
5: I have never had a fear of death.
6: That being said: I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I am afraid of missing out on the what if's in my life.
7: MCR saved my life with the lyric "I am not afraid to keep on living".
8: That's gonna be a tattoo of mine.
9: As well as a Plague Rat one
10: I have learned to keep things bottled in, as all my experiences of trying to get help have blown up in my face.
11: I will draw Nettie and I and post if at some point if people would desire.
12: If I speak in third person, I am speaking about Nettie.
13: I wonder if I'm insane for having this persona.
14: Or if I'm just being creepy.
15: My muses are my babies; my escape.
16: I have believed in magick and faeries all my life.
17: I am listening to MCR and Ms. Autumn right now, thank you
18: I fear someone is going to judge me for all of these confessions...
19: My self-esteem is ******** shot, okay?
20: I am really ******** amazed I held off swearing in this thing for 19 whole confessions because I like to ******** swear.
21: Sometimes, I really wish I could disappear off Earth for just a short time, but still be able to witness its goings-on... Just to see who would be worried about me...
22: I just realised that I can't ******** count. It was only 18 confessions without a swear.
23: I believe I proved my point.
24: See, it's not all "boo hoo pay attention to me because I'm a special snowflake"
25: I still want to post some of my sarcastic style into this thing.

I've always had an odd fascination with it, in all honesty .-.

Don't worry about the typo. I figure my first post was riddled with them...
But the thought of what could be... What I'll miss out on... Scares me...