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 Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 5:37 pm
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Hi, my name is Kodus. I'm 19 years old, male, and recently came out as bi. I'm enjoying the lifestyle completely due to the fact that I don't have to hide who I truly am anymore. I can date whomever, whenever and I love it. But anyway here's my coming out story.
:The first person I told was my mother, naturally. I knew before I said anything that she wouldn't give a flying f*ck about my life decision's and would support me completely, which she did. I then proceeded to tell the rest of my family: my brother's, my dad, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. To my surprise, not one person gave a sh*t. Not one. They all accepted me for who I am. It was the best thing I have experienced yet in my life. The love, respect and acceptance my family shows me now.
:After telling my family, I began telling my closest friends. My two best friends immediately showed acceptance and they actually told me that they were bi. This created an unbreakable bond between us and a friendship that no amount of time will ever crack.I trust these two with my life, and would do anything for them at any given moment. A few days went by and I started to tell others I was close to, or thought I was....
:I told two people that I worked with. Both were accepting, but one kinda started bailing on me every time we made plans to chill. Like just because I also enjoy guys means I enjoy EVERY GUY. rolleyes ANYWAY, long story cut short, he told a couple people, who then told a couple of people, so on so forth. So I go into work one day and my friend told me that everyone knew my secret. And my reaction was like, "WTF?" like anyone else's would be. So throughout the day everyone I worked with was coming up to me apologizing, like someone important to me just died. It just pissed me off. "Sorry that you like guys, and I know about it.", is what they should have said.
sad Speed ahead 4 days) Its our Christmas Party at work. I was supposed to take my boyfriend at the time, but he dumped me due to ^ that incident. Kinda dumb, but whatever. So I get there, and everyone was was, "Where's your boyfriend?????", so I proceed to explain the events that occurred after my outing. The rest of the night was almost a blur. People laughing, people presenting their best fake faces, people making out with people, people eating, people getting wasted. But the best part of the night was when my "friend" that outed me asked me to speak with him in private. I told him we could talk later, at his place.
sad Fast forward a couple hours) So we were sitting on his bed for a while in an awkward silence. Like REALLY quiet. It was weird...... BUT. He eventually told me he was sorry for what he did. But the weird part is he held my hand when he said it and actually looked into my eyes. He meant it, from the bottom of his heart. Then he kissed me, right on my lips. At first I was confused but he quickly explained. He told me he was bi, and actually had a crush on me. And the reason he told everyone my sexual preference was to see how they would react. (We hang out with the same people.) I then explained how f*cked up that was, to out me with everyone I worked with. I said some pretty mean things that I honestly do regret, he cried, I left.
I guess I have a question for you guys.
Should I forgive him?
I mean, he betrayed our friendship and completely obliterated my trust for him. But there's this part of me that enjoyed that kiss, better than any I have ever received. I actually felt something that I haven't felt in years: Love. I know it sounds cheesy, but its true. I actually believe that I met my "one true love", and just let him go due to a simple childish quarrel.
With that question asked and my current life posted on a forum that nobody I know will read, I hope everyone knows that life goes on. It WILL get better. Everyone goes through this at some point in their life. Whether your gay or straight, fat or skinny, yellow or brown or white or old or young or anything. Everyone experiences love. All you can do is hope for the best and jump on it, before it slips away.
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:15 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 7:16 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 8:22 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 4:01 pm
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iiParadoxical Well, congratulations for the good reactions, firstly.
But, should you forgive him? It depends. If you didn't say specifically it was a secret and not to tell anyone else, I'd hate to say it but I do not blame him. If you did say not to spill, I'd still eventually have to say yes. Just for the sake of it being off your chest and also because you did feel that he was being genuine with his apology. Especially if you think you do love him.
I would also apologize. For making him cry and for saying hurtful things. Two wrongs sadly don't make a right : T And if you think you have a future with him, making amends would definitely help in the long run.
Granted, if I was personally in your position, I would probably do the same if not worse to him so I don't blame you.
Wish you luck in life and prayers are sent out to you : )
Thanks for the info!
But yes, I told him to not tell anyone because I wanted to be the one to break the ice with everybody. I already apologized for what I said, because I honestly just said it to hurt him the way he hurt me.
But thanks for the advice! (: |
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 4:07 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:23 pm
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sud0k Quatermass The future depends on you making amends. Do so. You hurt him. He hurt you too, but if there is a future for this friendship and possibly relationship, that must come first. I also say take a step back, and approach with caution. We are talking about somebody who betrayed your trust. Just be aware. Best. Advice. Ever. lol And to xXHazukashiiXx, thanks a ton. I've been receiving the same answer from everyone I've asked, which is to forgive and attempt to forget. And I do hope that one day he will earn my trust again, and we could be a couple. But for now we are just friends which I am completely content with. lol This whole coming out experience has put me through so many emotional situations. Most are good, but some didn't quite work the way I wanted them. But more than anything, I'm just soo happy to finally be more open about myself and to finally not have to care what anyone thinks or hide my emotions. I can be me. Finally. heart
Congratz hun. I know there is no better feeling than to be fully open about yourself. And trust me, you'll find that a lot of people could careless about your sexual preference. Hell, everyone at my work loves me and they know I'm gay. We have like three gay guys and two (one left recently) lesbians. |
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:31 pm
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xXHazukashiiXx sud0k Quatermass The future depends on you making amends. Do so. You hurt him. He hurt you too, but if there is a future for this friendship and possibly relationship, that must come first. I also say take a step back, and approach with caution. We are talking about somebody who betrayed your trust. Just be aware. Best. Advice. Ever. lol And to xXHazukashiiXx, thanks a ton. I've been receiving the same answer from everyone I've asked, which is to forgive and attempt to forget. And I do hope that one day he will earn my trust again, and we could be a couple. But for now we are just friends which I am completely content with. lol This whole coming out experience has put me through so many emotional situations. Most are good, but some didn't quite work the way I wanted them. But more than anything, I'm just soo happy to finally be more open about myself and to finally not have to care what anyone thinks or hide my emotions. I can be me. Finally. heart Congratz hun. I know there is no better feeling than to be fully open about yourself. And trust me, you'll find that a lot of people could careless about your sexual preference. Hell, everyone at my work loves me and they know I'm gay. We have like three gay guys and two (one left recently) lesbians.
Thanks! <3
I just hope that one day, while I'm still alive, that I will see the rise of the LGBT community. I hope to see no more hate or judgment, and acceptance worldwide. And, eventually, complete full civil rights in the U.S. I mean, its all just childish nonsense. No one should have to fear who they truly are. I think it will happen, once my generation takes over the court systems, offices and future presidencies. It will happen, in time and I for one cannot wait until that day. |
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:48 pm
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sud0k xXHazukashiiXx sud0k Quatermass The future depends on you making amends. Do so. You hurt him. He hurt you too, but if there is a future for this friendship and possibly relationship, that must come first. I also say take a step back, and approach with caution. We are talking about somebody who betrayed your trust. Just be aware. Best. Advice. Ever. lol And to xXHazukashiiXx, thanks a ton. I've been receiving the same answer from everyone I've asked, which is to forgive and attempt to forget. And I do hope that one day he will earn my trust again, and we could be a couple. But for now we are just friends which I am completely content with. lol This whole coming out experience has put me through so many emotional situations. Most are good, but some didn't quite work the way I wanted them. But more than anything, I'm just soo happy to finally be more open about myself and to finally not have to care what anyone thinks or hide my emotions. I can be me. Finally. heart Congratz hun. I know there is no better feeling than to be fully open about yourself. And trust me, you'll find that a lot of people could careless about your sexual preference. Hell, everyone at my work loves me and they know I'm gay. We have like three gay guys and two (one left recently) lesbians. Thanks! <3 I just hope that one day, while I'm still alive, that I will see the rise of the LGBT community. I hope to see no more hate or judgment, and acceptance worldwide. And, eventually, complete full civil rights in the U.S. I mean, its all just childish nonsense. No one should have to fear who they truly are. I think it will happen, once my generation takes over the court systems, offices and future presidencies. It will happen, in time and I for one cannot wait until that day.
I'm with you there! I think more and more kids and young adults who are of different sexualities are coming out more and more each day. I just hope that sooner or later, everyone will realize that badgering someone based on their sexual preference is untolerable. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't do great things. :3 So screw the world! |
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:50 pm
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xXHazukashiiXx sud0k xXHazukashiiXx sud0k Quatermass The future depends on you making amends. Do so. You hurt him. He hurt you too, but if there is a future for this friendship and possibly relationship, that must come first. I also say take a step back, and approach with caution. We are talking about somebody who betrayed your trust. Just be aware. Best. Advice. Ever. lol And to xXHazukashiiXx, thanks a ton. I've been receiving the same answer from everyone I've asked, which is to forgive and attempt to forget. And I do hope that one day he will earn my trust again, and we could be a couple. But for now we are just friends which I am completely content with. lol This whole coming out experience has put me through so many emotional situations. Most are good, but some didn't quite work the way I wanted them. But more than anything, I'm just soo happy to finally be more open about myself and to finally not have to care what anyone thinks or hide my emotions. I can be me. Finally. heart Congratz hun. I know there is no better feeling than to be fully open about yourself. And trust me, you'll find that a lot of people could careless about your sexual preference. Hell, everyone at my work loves me and they know I'm gay. We have like three gay guys and two (one left recently) lesbians. Thanks! <3 I just hope that one day, while I'm still alive, that I will see the rise of the LGBT community. I hope to see no more hate or judgment, and acceptance worldwide. And, eventually, complete full civil rights in the U.S. I mean, its all just childish nonsense. No one should have to fear who they truly are. I think it will happen, once my generation takes over the court systems, offices and future presidencies. It will happen, in time and I for one cannot wait until that day. I'm with you there! I think more and more kids and young adults who are of different sexualities are coming out more and more each day. I just hope that sooner or later, everyone will realize that badgering someone based on their sexual preference is untolerable. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't do great things. :3 So screw the world!
lol Exactly. (haha) But anyways, yea. I'm happy. |
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