Welcome to Gaia! ::

I never know how to begin. :' Well, I'm pretty sure I'm mentally unstable and maybe crazy. The thing that has been bothering me lately is this anxiety over my friend. It feels like she's my only friend. My others friends have just disappeared, faded or spread lies about me and ignored me. My friend and I don't see each other as much as we did in high school. I'm lucky if I see her once a month. We do have contact on Gaia(she's the one who introduced Gaia to me years ago), and text. When she doesn't text back in a few hours or goes on Gaia I panic and worry pacing around in my room. I imagine different images in my head that I can't stop from thinking like her lying in a hospital bed, tubes connected to her or her at work bleeding to death. I pace for hours(I lose track of time). What scares me is that nothing can stop me from this "trance". I pace around, my hands in prayer wishing she's alright. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of losing her. I love her so much. But I don't want to worry myself to death. And the images get worse,bloodier and scarier(I have way too many problems). I don't even know if these things are realistic and bound to happen or I'm just crazy. Is there any way I can ease my anxiety?

hi CrackerLover, i can totally relate with what you're going through since i'm clinically diagnosed with anxiety disorder.

irrational fears are pretty terrifying because they feel REAL. when i was younger my coping methods for fears like this was, like Aria mentioned, deep breathing. calming music and music in general was a HUGE coping skill for me. when i listened to a song that related to my moods and emotions, it was uplifting and helped ease the stress and fear because it felt as the music over-took my fearful thoughts and made me think what was reality and what was fiction.

as i aged and developed more coping skills (which i hope will happen for you too), i began to better push away these fears and come up with more rational reasons for people not contacting me after a few hours or not replying to things right away. i used to fearful my mom had been in horrible car accidents when she went out to dinner alone and was eating at her usual restaurant that had bad signal, and she couldn't answer my calls or texts all the time.

i think the best thing for you do at this time is try to keep calm as to not wear yourself down-- and maybe take my advice and pop some headphones in with soothing music. your friend is most likely safe and sound and probably busy with something at the moment.

i hope you feel better, i really do. i can relate so well it makes me feel for you and want for you to be calm and happy.