What do I do???

[Mary Janes Brother]

So, for those of you who don't know me my name is Mikel and I am bi. I feel the need to introduce myself for what my thread is about because I would like this to be taken as seriously as I think this is. It is a long story about a huge part of my life and if you take the time to read it, I would really appreciate any help that anyone could give me with this situation.

If you knew who I really was, you would never suspect me being gay at all, just like all of the other people in my life who don't. I was a captain of my football team, I was voted homecoming king, class vice president, whatever. Fact of the matter is, no one in my life knows that I am attracted to guys. Not until just recently, I have really accepted this and now I would like to do something about it but I am involved in this huge predicament that I have no idea what to do with myself.

There's this guy that I am infatuated with. I love him. More than anyone that I have ever met in my entire life. It doesn't hurt that he is by far the sexiest guy I've ever laid my eyes on either wink . He is my best friend and he has no idea that I am bi or attracted to him. We have been good friends since sophomore year of high school and hung out all the time since then. Last summer was the best summer of my life because I spent most of it with him. Almost every night he would stay at my house or me at his.

The thing that gets me the most is our sleeping arrangements. At his house, there isn't any options, we share his bed. Now my house is a little bit different. My room is in the basement and I have a couple couches right by my room, one even having a pull-out mattress. Instead of sleeping on one of those, he shares my bed with me (not like I'm complaining one bit). Laying in bed with him is one of the greatest feelings I have ever had, especially when I wake up and he is laying his head on me. Now any straight guy would see 2 guys sharing a bed as gay right?

But here's the biggest kicker: He is the biggest man slut that I know. He is a straight player with girls and can't keep a relationship very long without cheating or getting caught texting another girl. He loves texting girls just so he can get them to send him pics, and they always do because he has a body sculpted from the gods. But these girls aren't the only people to see pics of him... I do. He sends me shirtless pics of him ALL THE TIME. Now what kind of straight guy sends another guy shirtless pics of their self?

There are a few other subtle things that stick out to me too. I don't remember who, but someone made a comment to us that we would make a good gay couple. Now this is whatever, we're best friends and have a "bromance" as people call it and no one thinks anything of it. He has brought this comment back up multiple times and to other people and even asked others if we would make a good gay couple. We also had a conversation about girls kissing girls and how guys get turned on by that. Then how guy on guy kissing isn't appreciated by anyone. He told me he would be willing to kiss me! And there are other little things here and there that always get me wondering if he is gay or not. But then I just tell myself that it is just my wishful thinking because I want nothing more than for him to be gay.

I would love to tell him everything that I feel but I just can't yet. Another difficult thing to deal with is the fact that he is in the Army. He's stuck in it for another 3 years, but we already have plans to get an apartment together when he's finished with his contract. He's gonna get a job while I work on getting my masters. He's in the infantry and he's going to be getting deployed to Afghanistan in May so there's no way I can say anything to him before that, especially because I see him still yearning for the acceptance of a girl as his girlfriend.

So I'm just planning on being patient. Because I have never loved anyone so much in my life, I can wait until the day I am 100% I know what he really feels between us. Now please anyone, what do I do with this? Any comments or thoughts on my situation? Please, help me. sad  

[wingardium leviosah]

Mary Janes Brother

I feel he may be gay, or bi at least, but, it feels like sometimes he's just teasing you (like when he sends you shirtless pics, I think my idea would be to tell him, but be a bit subtle about is, see what his response is, and perhaps play off of that.

 

[Mary Janes Brother]

wingardium leviosah

Mary Janes Brother

I feel he may be gay, or bi at least, but, it feels like sometimes he's just teasing you (like when he sends you shirtless pics, I think my idea would be to tell him, but be a bit subtle about is, see what his response is, and perhaps play off of that.

Ya know, that was my initial reaction to that. Because it's not like he's completely stupid, I feel like he knows when someone is attracted to him. How would you suppose I go at this whole telling him subtly though?  

[serizael]

take him up on the kissing thing  

[sud0k]

Personally, it sounds like he is bi. But this is a sticky situation, because I have been there before. I think that the best way to handle it would be to just be blatantly honest. The next time he brings up the subject, just say it. Tell him how you feel, and don't sweat the "what-ifs". Otherwise, you'll never actually go through with it.
There will be one of three outcomes.
The first, he feels the same for you and you guys live happily ever after, in the sky riding unicorns naked and such.
Number two, he is totally straight, caught off guard and kinda disgusted by the fact that you have such a great amount of passion for him and you guys lose a friendship over the whole thing.
Number three, he is straight but doesn't mind your sexual orientation. This is what happened to me, but honestly, its not that bad. Because for me to lay it all out on the table took balls and he honestly didn't mind. He knew all along, kinda, and now we are really good friends and chill almost everyday.
Live in the now, and if he can't accept you for you then he would not be a true friend. You'll move on if that's what it comes down to. It takes a while but eventually you will find someone to share all of your love with.
A bit of final advice; don't hold back. Don't "wait" for the perfect opportunity, because it may never come.

I hope this helped.  

[Noah Regrets]

Woah woah woah

Nobody here can tell you if dude-bro is gay or not just based on how he acts! We shouldn't be encouraging assumptions and stereotypes regarding appropriate heteronormative/ homosexual behaviors here.

My advice? if you feel safe doing so, approach your friend.  

[Mary Janes Brother]

This song makes me think of him smile

And thanks again for offering your opinion everyone! heart  

[chochocobo]

Being a guy myself, I can relate.

He is your bestfriend, and bestfriends are there for each other. I think you should tell him your feelings. Have a serious, one on one chat with him. He shouldn't get mad at you and should accept you for being bisexual.

If you don't want to, you can just wait a bit and see how he acts for a bit longer. If he keeps sending you pics, he might be teasing you, or wanting you. Who knows. No one will know until you talk to him about it. He might even end up developing feeling for yo, and he doesn't want to tell you since he might be scared/nervous to tell you. (:

Good Luck!! (: