how do you know

[scrd bst tym]

I'm openly gay at school but there is a few guys around who still haven't heard the news. Of these few there are those whom i am mildly attracted to and i haven't the courage to all out ask them of their sexuality. I guess it boils down to my fear of peer conviction. What would be your approach if you were in my situation and what advice do you have?  

[XrosHeartless]

This was never my area of expertise.  

[Saint Sims]

Never question anyone's sexuality. Doing so would be shooting yourself in the foot.

You can't look at someone's sexuality as a barrier against you either.

Hetero men can and do often fall for homo men. It's not something you can really force upon them but it's certainly feasible to "test the waters" with them.

Personally, if you know them enough to where you could lay on a little flirtation by all means do so. Hit them up on Facebook maybe? Who knows.

Certainly do not question whether or not they're heterosexual though, they won't take kindly to that and in fact, from my own experiences, will withdraw themselves from you.

 

[Irouk]

scrd bst tym

I'm openly gay at school but there is a few guys around who still haven't heard the news. Of these few there are those whom i am mildly attracted to and i haven't the courage to all out ask them of their sexuality. I guess it boils down to my fear of peer conviction. What would be your approach if you were in my situation and what advice do you have?

I assume you are in High School? Oh those days of falling for a (suspected) straight person. Granted I graduated from high school in the late 00's, and at that time (though better then the past) wasn't in my mind the best time to approach other guys about their sexuality. I remember doing a few (rather foolish things) to seek out guy(s) i was interested in that weren't always the best idea. Perhaps times are different now (even though it was hardly five years ago) but I would suggest being involved with any gay groups (like gay-straight alliances). If you are crushing on a guy who doesnt identify as gay (at least not openly), then it might be best to let them be. High school can be an intense and confusing time so questioning peoples sexuality (who dont identify as queer) can be a bit of a bad idea, especially if you are not a close friend.  

[iiParadoxical]

Make friends with him.
Maybe make friends with his friends.
Keep an ear out to hear who he is interested in.
Pretty sure you'll know his sexuality pretty soon.
Then, depending on the situation, see if it's right to ask him out or not.  

[Nick the Knack]

Irouk

scrd bst tym

I'm openly gay at school but there is a few guys around who still haven't heard the news. Of these few there are those whom i am mildly attracted to and i haven't the courage to all out ask them of their sexuality. I guess it boils down to my fear of peer conviction. What would be your approach if you were in my situation and what advice do you have?

I assume you are in High School? Oh those days of falling for a (suspected) straight person. Granted I graduated from high school in the late 00's, and at that time (though better then the past) wasn't in my mind the best time to approach other guys about their sexuality. I remember doing a few (rather foolish things) to seek out guy(s) i was interested in that weren't always the best idea. Perhaps times are different now (even though it was hardly five years ago) but I would suggest being involved with any gay groups (like gay-straight alliances). If you are crushing on a guy who doesnt identify as gay (at least not openly), then it might be best to let them be. High school can be an intense and confusing time so questioning peoples sexuality (who dont identify as queer) can be a bit of a bad idea, especially if you are not a close friend.

All the advice in this thread is good, but I think this is the best. Irouk hit the nail on the head here I think. In my experiences, I've found it best to involve myself in gay groups, particularly gay-straight alliances, to meet guys (I ended up loving the club so much I became an officer lol). Typically, I'd have to air on the side of caution when curious about someone's sexuality. If they're a close friend it may be easier, but still be sure they'd be okay with you asking. Don't want to scare anybody wink Good luck, man xd

A little advice if you do decide to ask someone about their sexuality: When I've done it in the past, I always started with something like "Alright, I'm going to ask you something. I promise I'll never bring it up again if you don't want me to." or something like that to certain close(ish) friends I've been interested in before.  

[Panyrinth]

scrd bst tym

I'm openly gay at school but there is a few guys around who still haven't heard the news. Of these few there are those whom i am mildly attracted to and i haven't the courage to all out ask them of their sexuality. I guess it boils down to my fear of peer conviction. What would be your approach if you were in my situation and what advice do you have?

Whoa tons of really good advice on this thread. Although I didn't go about any of those methods personally. My school had a GSA but it was a bit of a joke. There were two guys neither of which I found very interesting and the rest were girls. Girls that I'm pretty sure were only straight allies too. Don't quote me on that though.

Anyways back to advice. If you don't have any outlets you do want to make sure that the guy's comfortable around you. If he knows you're gay and he can't be bothered to be around you red flag that you definitely need not question him. However if he's cool and he's comfortable around you then I'd say go right ahead and ask him privately. Do it politely and respectfully of him, and make sure you're not too pushy about it. All of my friends were guys so I kinda have a feel what you were going through. Hope that helps any lol

 

[scrd bst tym]

Wow lots of good answers, thanks for the responses. Looking back i realize my post was rather vague so I'll throw in a crucial detail. Some girl (whom i do not know well enough to bring up such a topic with) during class said something to him about his homosexuality though he neither affirmed nor dismissed the allegation he kind of brushed it off. The way he responded to it threw up a flag but I've never approached a guy (that I wasn't absolutely sure was gay) about something like that. We aren't exceptionally good friends but i help him a lot in chemistry . It's one of my favorite subjects and everyone suspects our teacher of not knowing what shes doing at times, so all of my friends come to me when they have a question. My school doesn't have a GSA (nor anything of the nature) though a few of my friends and I contemplated starting one. Once again thanks for the responses, I now have a better idea of how to go about the situation.  

[RosesandBlood]

Wow... I wish I had awesome people to give me advice like this.

But no, I kinda bumble my way through. If you're not sure as his friend, this female you spoke about... Or talk about yourself openly when he's around, hinting that you too are gay.

Since I'm pretty oblivious myself that's how I do it. I was pretty well ignored in high school or harassed for odds and ends. So if you don't wanna rock the boat use subtly and tact if you have it. (I don't) But mostly use your resources too. His friends your friends, all that stuff.