How to gain confidence?

[Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny]

I admit that I have very low self esteem. I'm 5'3, weigh less than 100 pounds, small boobs. But reguardless, I feel crappy about myself a lot...I feel like I'm not good enough and that I'm not wanted. Also I want to be alone but don't want to be at the same time.

How do you raise your self-esteem?  

[Seasick Katie]

First, I feel ya girl! I feel (felt) the same way, not good enough and unwanted. It was crappy, and I suffered really badly from low self esteem. I wouldn't even go out to parties or with friends because I didn't want to deal with the feelings of being inadequate. And then THAT would make me feel even more unworthy. Over about a years time however: I can honestly say I m one of the most confident people I know, and I'm not that great or gorgeous either!


I think the main thing that helped raise my self esteem was NOT telling myself that I am pretty or smart or funny. I used to do that. If I felt ugly, I would tell myself that I was not ugly, I would buy makeup products to make myself feel better, and I would have my family or friends compliment me until I felt better. BUT at the end of the day, there would always be someone prettier than me, making me feel bad about myself. TRY NOT TO COMPARE. Is there a really pretty girl at a party? Who cares, the thing to remember is that it is not your job to impress other people or be the prettiest person in the room. Once you remind yourself that it doesn't matter if you are ugly or pretty, that it is not your job to be funny, pretty, or impress other people, you feel so much better.

Stay away from people who say things like this, "She is so pretty, she is also funny. That girl is funny but ugly. That girl is hilarious and GEORGEOUS... but mean, she is perfect!" These people talk about others, which almost always lowers self esteem. Who cares if she is beautiful and nice? I don't. Cause not everyone can be beautiful and nice all the time (remember that), that is boring. What I say when my friends say things like this, instead of agreeing with them, I say, "Ya I guess" or "who cares, let's go do something". Talking about other people's strengths and weaknesses just makes you compare yourself which is not good for raising self esteem. It doesn't matter how perfect they are, you are just as good as them and you have better things to do then talk about them.

So once you understand that it doesn't matter how smart, funny, or beautiful you are, you should realize that you are lot more confident.

However even when I got to this point, I got lonely sometimes and my self esteem lowered. Which I am guessing is what you mean by wanting to be alone but not really.

I would suggest making one or two close friends, that way you don't feel as much pressure when hanging out with them. I would suggest going out with them a couple days a week. I know this is easier said than done, but after you are more confident, you'll find that it's easier to make friends because you won't be so worried about rejection. Even maybe a phone call if you don't feel like going out.

I would even suggest doing some volunteer work! It's easy to get, just pm me if you don't know how and want to. You can meet new people and the people there will be THANKFUL you showed up to help. It will also raise your self esteem because you will feel yourself gaining skills and giving back to the community. You will be getting out of the house and meeting new people, without the pressures of "being good enough".


Sorry this post is SOOOOO long, lol, but I really feel for people with low self esteem because I was there (I'm even 5'3" and about that much weight lol!). I really want you to feel good about yourself because you deserve it darling!!!! heart heart heart heart heart heart heart pm me anytime!  

[Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny]

Thank you...  

[13 Mockingjay]

Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny

I admit that I have very low self esteem. I'm 5'3, weigh less than 100 pounds, small boobs. But reguardless, I feel crappy about myself a lot...I feel like I'm not good enough and that I'm not wanted. Also I want to be alone but don't want to be at the same time.

How do you raise your self-esteem?

Hello there, long-lost twin whee ^^^Story of my life^^^
I had really low self-esteem for awhile. I started hanging out with different people, they were a year older than me, and accepted me better than a *certain* friend of mine. I admit, I kinda wanted to be like them, they were pretty, had all the guys around them, were tall, and other stuff. But anytime I told them "I wish guys liked me," or something like that, they would make me feel better. Whether it was a photo-shoot with their phones, being crazy, or writing little notes back-and-forth in class, they always made me feel better.

If you have a phone that takes picture, TAKE A LOT OF SELFIES! lol this might sound vain and stuff, but I got a Kindle Fire (only has camera on front of screen) and I'll sit on my couch and take 100 random pictures. Different poses, different lighting, different expressions. It's fun, and you'll actually end up getting a lot of pictures that you wouldn't think look good, but they do. After you've taken (too) many pictures, just go through and delete the ones that are blurry or have some weird glare. Don't be quick to delete ones that look crazy, goofy, or "ugly". You may think so at the time, but you'll go through later and say, "I look really good in the pic."

Other things that have helped me are:
1) Music, especially fun, upbeat, dancing kind of music.
2) Clothes, don't try to hide behind them, but find a style you like, and add something small to it. Maybe a bright scarf, or those sexy heels you've been eyeing. Something you make you feel good, and make you stand out.
3) Try to do something with a friend or group a least twice a week. Maybe go to the movies, or take a bike ride with a friend.
4) This kinda goes with #3, but don't keep your activities to things you're comfortable with. Expand your hobbies. Try something you'd never thought of trying. Take one really close friend so you can have that special story of when you two rode an elephant, or bungee jumped (when your friend jumps off a bridge attached to a harness and bungee cord, you follow xd ).

Hope some of this could help emotion_bigheart emotion_hug yum_puddi  

[Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny]

13 Mockingjay

Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny

I admit that I have very low self esteem. I'm 5'3, weigh less than 100 pounds, small boobs. But reguardless, I feel crappy about myself a lot...I feel like I'm not good enough and that I'm not wanted. Also I want to be alone but don't want to be at the same time.

How do you raise your self-esteem?

Hello there, long-lost twin whee ^^^Story of my life^^^
I had really low self-esteem for awhile. I started hanging out with different people, they were a year older than me, and accepted me better than a *certain* friend of mine. I admit, I kinda wanted to be like them, they were pretty, had all the guys around them, were tall, and other stuff. But anytime I told them "I wish guys liked me," or something like that, they would make me feel better. Whether it was a photo-shoot with their phones, being crazy, or writing little notes back-and-forth in class, they always made me feel better.

If you have a phone that takes picture, TAKE A LOT OF SELFIES! lol this might sound vain and stuff, but I got a Kindle Fire (only has camera on front of screen) and I'll sit on my couch and take 100 random pictures. Different poses, different lighting, different expressions. It's fun, and you'll actually end up getting a lot of pictures that you wouldn't think look good, but they do. After you've taken (too) many pictures, just go through and delete the ones that are blurry or have some weird glare. Don't be quick to delete ones that look crazy, goofy, or "ugly". You may think so at the time, but you'll go through later and say, "I look really good in the pic."

Other things that have helped me are:
1) Music, especially fun, upbeat, dancing kind of music.
2) Clothes, don't try to hide behind them, but find a style you like, and add something small to it. Maybe a bright scarf, or those sexy heels you've been eyeing. Something you make you feel good, and make you stand out.
3) Try to do something with a friend or group a least twice a week. Maybe go to the movies, or take a bike ride with a friend.
4) This kinda goes with #3, but don't keep your activities to things you're comfortable with. Expand your hobbies. Try something you'd never thought of trying. Take one really close friend so you can have that special story of when you two rode an elephant, or bungee jumped (when your friend jumps off a bridge attached to a harness and bungee cord, you follow xd ).

Hope some of this could help emotion_bigheart emotion_hug yum_puddi

thank you  

[Walter has ganado]

Oh my goodness I want you to know now that you are such a sweetie. Like, I don't even know you and I know for a fact that you are out of this world. You see, the fact that you are still here and able to face the day shows you got some life in you and that is absolutely phenomenal, and guess what, that makes you beyond phenomenal; that makes you splendiferous.

I find myself feeling down all the time as well, and trust me honey it's hard to pull yourself up from the ditch of deprivation (I choose to call this state this because I feel very very strongly that if you are finding yourself feeling this way you are missing something very important, whether that be some warm sun beams, a small compliment, a cheery smile, or even a moment of calm in the storm). It is beyond important that you love yourself, because when you love yourself then you are able to let go of the rest of the world and other people's standards. A few years back I remember not wanting to leave the house and feeling I had to wear a mask or something in order to feel beautiful, but then something very strange happened.

You see, I got very into the drama program at my school and I found that constantly jumping characters you get the opportunity to see yourself from a different perspective and find yourself almost desperate for a steady sense of being. This caused me to spend more time drawing, finding music and movies I liked, and talking and expressing myself. This made me realize that I really am a single, celestial being in my own universe and that my approval was the only one I ever needed. You see, people have this funny habit of not realizing their own insecurities and instead projecting them onto other people so that it instead seems normal to them; I can tell you now that is no proper way to get to know, love, and accept yourself. Instead all they manage to do is pull other people down into their ditch of desperation.

With all of this in mind I have a few suggestions of things you could possibly do to get to know yourself better and fall in love with yourself. Firstly try finding a hobby or a talent that you can't find yourself living without, this will help you find your strengths and weaknesses!! Secondly, it is of utmost importance that you remember to take a breath and talk things out with other people. It can surprise you how much other people notice little things you do and other things that make them adore being around you! Thirdly, allow yourself to let go of things. Don't sweat the small stuff, people are to caught up in their own universes to notice so why should you force yourself to only look at one spec in the galaxy that is your life? Lastly, please for the love of god stay comfortable and don't push or rush yourself. Things take time and not everything other people tell you is true! For example if a friend tells you to wear a lower shirt or shorter pants and you don't feel comfortable please do not feel down about it! You are absolutely stunning in whatever you love to wear, do, or say so please do not feel as though you need to change! If somebody other than you changes you in a way you don't like please take the time to put your planets back in order!

Please always remember that you are absolutely perfect and always remind yourself of the simple question; what would the night sky be without it's stars? Hope I helped!