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Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 8:44 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 9:05 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 10:18 am
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I was raised in a Roman Catholic family, but I haven't been a practising Catholic in a long time. I still have a lot of fondness for the various aspects of Catholicism, as well as a lot of respect for various people I've known that are part of the church. However, I strongly disagree with many of the core beliefs, and I've had a number of particularly memorable negative experiences with the church and its members, so I don't imagine I would ever be Catholic again.
I was confirmed when I was a teenager, even though I didn't want to be. (I was told that I had to go through with it, or move out.) As I explained to my family at the time, I disagreed with the church on several important points, so it would be dishonest to stand before the congregation and be confirmed. :/ You know, even for someone who didn't have much faith, the idea of blatantly lying to everyone in a church seemed wrong. But my mother was concerned with what all her CWL friends would think if her son wasn't confirmed, so apparently image was more important than honesty. razz
I still identified as Christian for some time after that, although not affiliated with any particular denomination.
When I was 19, I became seriously involved with a guy who was still a practising Catholic, and we even went to Mass together. The parish was a very tolerant one, and the experience was pretty positive. My partner still had a lot of issues when it came to his sexuality vs. his religion; he felt a lot of guilt and self-loathing about his relationship with me, and I know that the conflict was really hard for him. It certainly caused a lot of tension between the two of us, especially when he was feeling particularly guilt-ridden. After several years, we broke up because he wanted to "settle down" right away, get married and have kids (!). I loved him, but I was still in my early 20s, and definitely wasn't ready for that.
These days, I would say it's more accurate to describe myself as agnostic (or apathetic, really) or a secular humanist. I have friends who are all over the board when it comes to beliefs, from hardcore conservative Christians (although my friendship with that guy is...strained) to militant anti-theists.
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Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 1:48 pm
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I was seriously in the closet throughout my religious journey, and I was adamant about destroying that part about me. I had a lot of self-hate for not feeling like I could ever please God, and I never felt saved. My sexuality was torturous for me because it went against my radical, ultraconservative beliefs. It was either marry a man, or be celibate. Hell wasn't a choice.
My beliefs became so fringe that I was even involved in a Messianic-Judaic cult for about three years. I was excommunicated by them eventually. Living in that group was driving me crazy. The indoctrination was constant and frightening.
My religion left me very depressed and suicidal. I felt rejected by society for already being different since childhood, and my beliefs made me feel like it was do all, or fail. I was a catechumen in the Catholic Church when my depression became its worse. Getting away from religion, for me, was the best decision I've ever made. Even when I was just a regular, conservative Christian, I felt like (and was influenced by my friends) that my aspirations in life had no value, unless I did them solely for God. For me, that meant giving up my music and writing, and those were a strong part of who I was. And still are.
Now that I'm from all of that, I feel so much more peace and happiness in who I am. I consider myself to be an agnostic deist/humanist now. I still value the general principles that Jesus talked about in the bible, but I don't believe the book is the divinely inspired word of God.The deeper I delve into the bible, the more I had trouble explaining things. And as an agnostic deist now, I've been able to see even stranger things that I never noticed before when I was extremely religious.
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Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:01 pm
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