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 Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:22 pm
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I'll admit, God and I haven't always been close. I used to never want that close relationship- it was "uncool". I can't even remember when I went to church just to pray and not for someone's special celebration- like a wedding or whatnot.
There was one night where it was just extremely emotional. I went to church for the first time since I was a child and as an adult, I really loved it. I enjoyed it, and then started going more and more. They were all night services that I could attend since I had to work in the mornings and also attend school.
My mom got really mad about it. She didn't like me being out at night at the church- and I remember her and I got into such a heated argument that I went into my room and just prayed. So hard. Crying and everything. And I felt Him. I felt Him and His touch and warmth. It was like seeing his light- and it was quite an eye-opener.
My mother and I have a very strained relationship. And it's never been solid. So I stopped going to church because Mom didn't want me to be out, and slowly but surely lost my own faith through life, job, schooling, ect. Now I'm all grown up- on my own exploring my own and I feel like I gipped God.
I owe Him so much because He has brought me so many amazing things. I pray to Him and talk to Him, and never ask anything from Him because I know I have to give more before I can even dare take. But I want to know some other ways to restore my faith.
I attend church regularly, I follow his word, I obey His laws and refuse to sin anymore- I ask for forgiveness everyday of my past sins...
I feel like He's forgiven me. He's lifted that burden that I've been carrying on myself this whole time. But I haven't forgiven myself.
I just... I feel like I've lost my path, and I feel ashamed to ask God to show me.
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Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 5:36 am
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Your Left Sock I'll admit, God and I haven't always been close. I used to never want that close relationship- it was "uncool". I can't even remember when I went to church just to pray and not for someone's special celebration- like a wedding or whatnot. There was one night where it was just extremely emotional. I went to church for the first time since I was a child and as an adult, I really loved it. I enjoyed it, and then started going more and more. They were all night services that I could attend since I had to work in the mornings and also attend school. My mom got really mad about it. She didn't like me being out at night at the church- and I remember her and I got into such a heated argument that I went into my room and just prayed. So hard. Crying and everything. And I felt Him. I felt Him and His touch and warmth. It was like seeing his light- and it was quite an eye-opener. My mother and I have a very strained relationship. And it's never been solid. So I stopped going to church because Mom didn't want me to be out, and slowly but surely lost my own faith through life, job, schooling, ect. Now I'm all grown up- on my own exploring my own and I feel like I gipped God. I owe Him so much because He has brought me so many amazing things. I pray to Him and talk to Him, and never ask anything from Him because I know I have to give more before I can even dare take. But I want to know some other ways to restore my faith. I attend church regularly, I follow his word, I obey His laws and refuse to sin anymore- I ask for forgiveness everyday of my past sins... I feel like He's forgiven me. He's lifted that burden that I've been carrying on myself this whole time. But I haven't forgiven myself. I just... I feel like I've lost my path, and I feel ashamed to ask God to show me.
We all go through trials and a lot of Christians out there may have had a time that was even similar to theirs - where they didn't go to church because of a family member, and got drowned in the world for a time because it all seemed so busy.
I'm glad that you're here, sharing your story, and it's delightful that you have gone back to church and desire to become closer to God.
Remember, there is plenty we can do for God - not all of them will seem like "big things" - the small things count, too. Some people may think, "To do something for God, I need to be in ministry." But God, notices everything we do, if we help others by witnessing, He see's it and if we go about it right, I'm sure He is glad. If we anonymously donate to help others and keep it to ourself, God rewards us.
It's understandable you feel like you owe Him a lot. It reminds me of this verse that I want to share with you:
Matthew 25:37 - 40 NIV:
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Never be afraid to talk with God about anything. He listens and knows our hearts, He hears our praises, and He hears our cries.
Philippians 4:6 NIV:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
There's nothing wrong with asking God questions, either.
You also need to forgive yourself. If we are to forgive others so that God will also forgive us (Matthew 6:14), I would imagine it's important that we forgive ourselves, too. If God has forgiven you - the Highest Power in this Universe, you can forgive yourself, too 3nodding Forgive yourself so that you may move on. You've asked for forgiveness, the burden has been removed, and now you can forgive yourself and move on.
Our past can be a tool that Satan loves to use if it brings us down, makes us question ourselves, or makes us dislike ourselves in any way. Do not allow Satan that advantage. Put on God's armor (Epesians 6:10 - 17). |
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Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:01 am
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Forgive yourself ♥ trust Him and His Son that His blood, His sacrifice, His grace, what He did for you on that cross long ago.. is stronger than any sins you have ever committed. He doesn't want you to remain in guilt. That's the enemy's way of keeping you enslaved to your past, guilt, sins, etc. God's purpose is to set the captives free through His Son, Jesus Christ. So trust Him : ) because He's not holding anything you've done against you. He loves you SO much, we can't even begin to fathom His steadfast and unending love for us.
"…11For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. 12As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. 13Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.…" Psalm 103
Don't ever feel ashamed. He loves you and wants you to ask Him, to draw closer to Him. He WANTS to help you. To set you free. Don't let the Enemy make you feel ashamed, guilty, worthless, alone, abandoned, etc when you've already confessed your sins and make an effort to follow Him. ♥
emotion_hug |
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Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:16 am
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Your Left Sock I'll admit, God and I haven't always been close. I used to never want that close relationship- it was "uncool". I can't even remember when I went to church just to pray and not for someone's special celebration- like a wedding or whatnot. There was one night where it was just extremely emotional. I went to church for the first time since I was a child and as an adult, I really loved it. I enjoyed it, and then started going more and more. They were all night services that I could attend since I had to work in the mornings and also attend school. My mom got really mad about it. She didn't like me being out at night at the church- and I remember her and I got into such a heated argument that I went into my room and just prayed. So hard. Crying and everything. And I felt Him. I felt Him and His touch and warmth. It was like seeing his light- and it was quite an eye-opener. My mother and I have a very strained relationship. And it's never been solid. So I stopped going to church because Mom didn't want me to be out, and slowly but surely lost my own faith through life, job, schooling, ect. Now I'm all grown up- on my own exploring my own and I feel like I gipped God. I owe Him so much because He has brought me so many amazing things. I pray to Him and talk to Him, and never ask anything from Him because I know I have to give more before I can even dare take. But I want to know some other ways to restore my faith. I attend church regularly, I follow his word, I obey His laws and refuse to sin anymore- I ask for forgiveness everyday of my past sins... I feel like He's forgiven me. He's lifted that burden that I've been carrying on myself this whole time. But I haven't forgiven myself. I just... I feel like I've lost my path, and I feel ashamed to ask God to show me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VwH1_foFL4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6qt4qZUnWc
Watch those videos and also, fellowship with other believers is extremely important, as a matter a fact I think it's a command to have fellowship with them. It's of a great help in your life and I don't believe you were ment to walk this walk alone, so find other TRUE believers because there are many false ones, many who think they are saved but aren't or follow wrong teachings, find true good believers in a good church that actually teaches the truth and go there and always pray even when you need help, it's prideful not to go to God when you need help even if you think you don't deserve it, just go to him, it pleases him that you see him as your only hope, same with when you sin, go to him anyways even if you feel you are not worthy or you have to do something first before you can be right with God, that is a lie and it is from satan. You need not do ANYTHING to be right with God but trust in Christ, he has paid it all and given you access to God, you are justified through Christ and Christ alone and God is only ever pleased with you because of what Christ has done for his people on that Cross, apart from Christ we can only expect God's wrath. So go to him always for forgiveness, help, ect. and just talk with God, prayer is just talking, be intimate with him. Always pray and always trust in him, and remember that Faith and Repentance go hand in hand, if you have repentance you have Faith and if you have Faith you have repentance, if you truly believe you will repent and if you truly repent it is because you have truly believed, you can't have one without the other but you are saved by faith and Faith alone in Jesus Christ not because of anything you have done. I hope this was of help and that I explained things right >.< Peace be with you and may God bless you.
Ephesians 2:8-10
For by grace you have been saved athrough faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
http://www.esvbible.org/Ephesians+2/
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. |
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Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 11:26 am
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Matthew 25:37 - 40 NIV is one of my favorites- if not my favorite. I really appreciate you reminding me of it because I haven't looked over it recently. The Lord is ever-giving and it's hard, sometimes, to wrap my mind around it. You know? I am here because of Him, because of His word and His doings.
I think Him and I need to have a talk, you're right.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
Thank you for the kind words. smile Forgiving myself, I'm afraid, will be hard to do overnight. But I will dedicate myself to doing so, as well as fighting my own demons. I don't wish to be run by sins, nor do I think He wants that.
The videos are very helpful! I feel that through connection with others in Faith, faith can grow, and does grow. Even just being a part of this guild has given me even more incite into my faith and my Lord. It is truly a blessing to have people come together, so willing to help, to have an amazing Lord that truly loves...
It's all becoming easier. My faith is in Him. And I might not be able to forgive myself overnight- but with His help, I can. And I cannot be afraid of that, I just have to trust in that.
Thank you so much everyone for the amazing help and awakening. I can do this. I don't wish to live in sin, or live by past demons who've already been fought off. God bless you all! And can I just say- Praise the Lord!! smile |
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Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:07 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 6:47 am
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The importance of forgiving yourself:
The way you see yourself is not an accurate picture of what Christ has done for you. It is basically denying the work that Jesus accomplished for you on the cross.
Some steps to follow:
Step #1, be honest with yourself
Step #2, you need to realize that your debt has been PAID
Step #3, allow the Holy Spirit to heal your soul
Step #4, begin to see the "new creature" of Christ within you
1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Psalms 103:12, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."
Taken from:
http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/forgiving_yourself.php
This is another wonderful site with Q&A about Forgive and Forget
http://bible-truth.org/msg83.html
Jesus loves you, take care dear <3
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