Relationship Crisis

[hawkmaster91]

Hello the name is Noel/Emily. I'm mtf trans and bi, I'm currently in a relationship but I don't feel like I can express the inner female that is really me. We've talked about all this and she is semi-supportive. But when I'm with her I still feel like i'm living a lie. How can I tell her this without hurting her/slash starting a fight. the last three times we got into bad fights and almost broke up. And I still want to date her or if that honestly can't work out, I honestly want us to stay friends I love her and don't want to cause her pain  

[Seraphim of Forgiveness]

hawkmaster91

Hello the name is Noel/Emily. I'm mtf trans and bi, I'm currently in a relationship but I don't feel like I can express the inner female that is really me. We've talked about all this and she is semi-supportive. But when I'm with her I still feel like i'm living a lie. How can I tell her this without hurting her/slash starting a fight. the last three times we got into bad fights and almost broke up. And I still want to date her or if that honestly can't work out, I honestly want us to stay friends I love her and don't want to cause her pain

Sorry for replying till now, not sure if you talked to her or not about this, but maybe try explaining it to her. Who knows its a possibility it could work out for the both of you still.  

[Luna Breeeze]

what you could do is really feel what's in your heart think about it. write about it maybe? journaling helps people even when then never thought it could. Then you can face her and see what happens. everything happens for a reason. Writing letters sometimes is very helpful you are able to say everything with out getting or feeling interrupted. but make sure you really word it how you feel.  

[hawkmaster91]

thank you for the advice
biggrin  

[Bits Of Silver]

It seems so simple, so I have trouble understanding how a fight could happen. Fights are like that though- I had a huge blow out over a toothbrush. It was epic ridiculous.

What are the hangups?
Is she having trouble understanding your goals? (assuming you guys are still together and the problem remains)  

[hawkmaster91]

Most of the time when we discuss my goals, she always brings up the "impact" Of having a transgender parent if we have kids. It makes me think I somehow won't be a good parent. And it's not just her. I had my nails painted on mother's day. My grandfather asked if the next time he sees me if I will be wearing a dress. That messed me up so bad that i was hospitalized. A friend of the family said the same thing. I guess all of it together crushes my spirit. My girlfriend is more sensitive and the two of us are happy.