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 Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:28 pm
I find myself in a difficult position. Being a young and hormonal teenager, you often find those urges and desires very quickly. With the media also lower my self esteem, and the ever intruding depression on my mental health, I'm in a crisis.
I haven't been able to date anyone since my ex, I have never had a relationship where I could hold they're hand or have them hug me.
Long distance just happens to be a occurring theme in my love life. But I want physical contact, I want hugs and kisses.
But I am awkward, and every time I develop a crush I avoid them all the time. Face to face freaks me out after the realization I like them, because I'm scared of rejection.
I was so hoping you girls could help me out, getting back into the game. Uping the anti, y'know... Getting out there. Be my best friend support group, because honestly, I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now.
(( If you are serious about helping me, I'd give you my Skype to have constant contact. ))
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:50 pm
What is making you having a low self-esteem? Is it the super-model that looks perfect and skinny ?
Love is not all about the appearance. For a relationship to work , I believe a couple needs to share the same values and love the person for who he/she is.
I don't have advice on how to get back in the game.
You must not be scared of rejection it happens. If you don't try you'll never know.
I'm single and I got rejected by someone I was interested. I'm not depressed about it. I felt angry and sad at first, then I move on.
That's how life goes.
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 4:57 pm
XxAriaxX What is making you having a low self-esteem? Is it the super-model that looks perfect and skinny ? Love is not all about the appearance. For a relationship to work , I believe a couple needs to share the same values and love the person for who he/she is. I don't have advice on how to get back in the game. You must not be scared of rejection it happens. If you don't try you'll never know. I'm single and I got rejected by someone I was interested. I'm not depressed about it. I felt angry and sad at first, then I move on. That's how life goes. Thanks for the tips, I'm just more struggling on the whole... trusting people issue.
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 5:58 pm
I had the hardest time trusting people, when I first met someone I tell them off the bat "Once I start getting to know you I tend to run away before you get to know me." The friends I have no, gotten through that accepted it and they got to know me.
When I met my girlfriend I told her right of the bat what I do. When I felt my walls coming down I ran, I logged off of everything. When I did that I also did a little soul searching and realized this isn't what I want done, I want to be with her even if I get hurt in the outcome. I have to trust her.
In the book Fruit Basket, the heroine said something that changed me forever. "My mom told me, it's better to trust people than to doubt them. She said that people aren't born with kind hearts. When we're born, all we have are desires for food and material things. Selfish instincts, I guess. But she said that kindness is something that grows inside of each person's body, but it's up to us to nurture that kindness in our hearts. That's why kindness is different for every person."
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 6:29 pm
How 'bout I hop in that boat and accompany you? Honestly I've mostly dated LDR over the people I see on a daily basis because I'm so much more awkward in reality rather than in front of a computer screen where none of my insecurities, social awkwardness/anxiety, and quietness show. Behind a computer monitor all your insecurities wash away as you can chose what the other person can slowly learn about you and you may shine all of your positive characteristics if you wish. It seems as if you meet higher quality people on the internet, but that's just me. I sometimes wish I could get over my anxiety and try to put myself out there for a non-LDR relationship, but I have very low self-esteem and is awkward so I just don't bother. It's such a hassle, but the contact would be nice.. Plus I'll selfishly admit, I'm very lazy when it comes to dates and such since my home is my comfort zone and we all know we often don't want to venture out of my comfort zone. My own "selfishness/laziness" drove a past relationship to its end because I wasn't willing to go out with my partner.
It's such a shame, isn't it?
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 7:17 pm
teaffee
I had the hardest time trusting people, when I first met someone I tell them off the bat "Once I start getting to know you I tend to run away before you get to know me." The friends I have no, gotten through that accepted it and they got to know me.
When I met my girlfriend I told her right of the bat what I do. When I felt my walls coming down I ran, I logged off of everything. When I did that I also did a little soul searching and realized this isn't what I want done, I want to be with her even if I get hurt in the outcome. I have to trust her.
In the book Fruit Basket, the heroine said something that changed me forever. "My mom told me, it's better to trust people than to doubt them. She said that people aren't born with kind hearts. When we're born, all we have are desires for food and material things. Selfish instincts, I guess. But she said that kindness is something that grows inside of each person's body, but it's up to us to nurture that kindness in our hearts. That's why kindness is different for every person." Nice quote ! I read fruit basket a long time ago. I forgot this..
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:16 pm
I can understand how you feel, I was always that way, but then it turned out I was actually demisexual! (It's a kind of sub sexuality off asexuality). Though sometimes, having a bad break up can ruin your relationships in the future if you still have feelings for the guy or you feel like any other guy will hurt you just like he did etc. I think if you feel you are not ready for a relationship yet, then perhaps for now you can work on your self esteem. It's great to make light of a bad situation and think, so what can I do to get the most out of this? Being single is a great time to have lots of you time. You can discover new hobbies and talents, like painting or a sport. You can learn to love yourself again and become more positive. If you make yourself busy wrapping yourself up in many projects and hobbies etc then you can actually find yourself forgetting about your troubles and it makes you feel a lot happier. Then you will have this lovely warm glow around you, which can make everyone around you feel positive too. Just an insight! whee
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