Does his past matter ? Why or why not ?

[Miss_XxAriaxX]

Some people around me, sometimes say it's in the past what matter is now, but someone's past can bother me. I feel it just represent who he is...

Let me give you example. My friend wants to meet a guy that is single and is looking for a long term relationship, but he often has one night stands ...
So, I said I don't want to meet him.
Then my friend said he is only like that when he is single, he is very loyal when he is in a relationship.

My friend insisted to meet him. Anyways, it is not like I am forced to date him or love him. It's just that people who like to sleep with anyone that they find attractive it bothers me. I find that disgusting when they sleep not because they love each other but only for fun and pleasure.  

[Infinite_Randomness]

Yes- a person's dating past definitely matters, if at the very least just for you to know so you can make an informed decision.


As for what you should do in this case... I know some people will say that the past is the past or maybe give some reason similar to what your friend gave, but for me, hearing that would be an instant turn off. I might be interested in him as a friend, but his potential as a romantic prospect drop pretty low after hearing that.

If you've changed your mind and decided that you want to give him a chance, you can always meet and start out as friends first to get a (n emotional) feel for him...but be careful.  

[Miss_XxAriaxX]

Infinite_Randomness

Yes- a person's dating past definitely matters, if at the very least just for you to know so you can make an informed decision.


As for what you should do in this case... I know some people will say that the past is the past or maybe give some reason similar to what your friend gave, but for me, hearing that would be an instant turn off. I might be interested in him as a friend, but his potential as a romantic prospect drop pretty low after hearing that.

If you've changed your mind and decided that you want to give him a chance, you can always meet and start out as friends first to get a (n emotional) feel for him...but be careful.

Thanks for the advice. My friend can be convincing that why I started to doubt about my own beliefs and values.  

[cool4]

we live in times where it's going to be really hard to make judgement on someones sexual past. Access to birth control and abortion means people can freely have sex without the consequences. This is what triggered the sexual revolution. Thus a person who has one night stands on a regular basis also may believe they are loyal in a relationship.

The other prospect with the one night stands and free sex, means people can have an expectation for sex. They may be loyal to you, but only because you are exclusively sleeping together.

So the past can probably explain certain attitudes of people. Does it entirely matter in this age we probably can't let it matter. If it matters to you, meet people who value sex the same way you desire to, usually they are found in churches.  

[Infinite_Randomness]

XxAriaxX

Infinite_Randomness

Yes- a person's dating past definitely matters, if at the very least just for you to know so you can make an informed decision.


As for what you should do in this case... I know some people will say that the past is the past or maybe give some reason similar to what your friend gave, but for me, hearing that would be an instant turn off. I might be interested in him as a friend, but his potential as a romantic prospect drop pretty low after hearing that.

If you've changed your mind and decided that you want to give him a chance, you can always meet and start out as friends first to get a (n emotional) feel for him...but be careful.

Thanks for the advice. My friend can be convincing that why I started to doubt about my own beliefs and values.

You're welcome. And I can relate to that- but you just have to trust that you are indeed smart/wise and prudent enough to make your own choices. 3nodding

(When I used to be uncertain of myself, I'd look back at other decisions that I'd made and realized that my general outlook or erring on the side of caution or waiting before I react may have yielded a few mistakes, but yielded many more benefits.)  

[flauterfli]

If his values haven't changed, and they don't match up with yours, I wouldn't date him. I think the past does definitely matter, as it tends to form our current opinion and lifestyle. Maybe he is different in a serious relationship, but he also could be a serial dater. If you're not interested in someone I wouldn't give it a try.