[PRP] Jar of hearts... [Uller/Etzer]

[Bronze Coffee]

It was morning. The morning of his return. He'd put a drunken Etzer to sleep and the last thing on his mind before sleep claimed him was how forced the whispered I love you was coming from Ezter.

So now he laid here with the other against him, tears springing to his eyes because everything had shifted and changed. Nothing was going to work out and it was all his fault. He'd broken a demon that didn't deserve it by being a cold, selfish boil. His ears were pressed tight against his head as he shifted his arms, wrapping them more firmly around the demon against him.

He just had to wait for the demon to wake up. They ... He had to end this before they ended up hurting so much more.

He'd broken so many promises, he'd left and expected everything to stay the same.

Of course it wouldn't..

Kanth

 

[Kanth]

Etzer dreamt of warm places and warm embraces, shifting in his sleep as he sighed, yawning as he slowly woke. His head was still a little fuzzy, but he felt right as rain - for the first time in months he could actually think clearly without the hindrance of the alcohol like he usually had.

Opening his eyes, he stared at Uller for a long moment, shifting to run his fingers over the deer's ear and through his white hair, his expression unreadable.

He was unsure of where their relationship lay; Uller had been gone for so long that Etzer had gotten used to living practically half a life - and what a half life it had been, with the lack of going to classes, lack of finishing his outfits... lack of caring, for the most part.

Perplexed, the frost demon furrowed his brows and attempted to put his thoughts into words, only managing somewhat of a half-awake grunt.

"Nuhhhh."

How tactful.

Saint Sergio

 

[Bronze Coffee]

And then Etzer woke up and he let his brows knit a bit more. He sighed deeply and just looked over that face he'd once known so well. It was so different now. The demon had changed in the months he'd been gone. Swallowing he smoothed a hand down the other's back.

"..Morning," he whispered. His voice was soft, yes, but it held no warmth. Uller... What Uller was thinking didn't leave room for warmth.

"We need to talk... About us." He sighed softly and just swallowed again, thickly. Slowly, the stag leaned forward and pressed his lips to Etzer's forehead before he shifted to sit up. "And how it's not working between us."

Kanth

 

[Kanth]

Swallowing and blinking a few times, Etzer sat up and crossed his legs, reaching up to caress Uller's face before dropping his arms in his lap. A sad but knowing expression flitted across the frost demon's face, and he stared at the sheets for a moment before glancing up to stare into Uller's eyes once more.

"Okay."

He knew things had been rocky with them both, but... where were they going to start? And was it worth trying to make it work, or attempt to start over?

Etzer didn't know. He waited for Uller to speak, respectfully silent.

Saint Sergio

 

[Bronze Coffee]

"You.. told me you loved me last night," Uller started, his voice serious and not at all steady. "..But ...you had to force it out. I understand. I.." He paused and swallowed, not looking at the demon in the slightest bit. "...I left with no warning. Didn't write to you. I ..broke your heart. Then... I come back.. I come back and I honestly expected nothing to change. I expected that we would pick up where we left off without any qualms. I'm selfish."

Finally those black eyes looked back to Etzer and he just let a sad expression sweep over his face. "...It's... not going to work anymore, is it?"

Kanth

 

[Kanth]

Etzer thought for a long moment before he lowered his head in agreement.

"No." Reaching out to take Uller's hands in his own, Etzer squeezed them gently, staring into the stag's eyes.

"Uller, you were a good boilfriend. I was terrible." It was true. He made for a terrible boilfriend, all things considered, but the last year had been the worst. On them both.

"I loved you. I still do. But... we're not very good for each other, are we?" Etzer's eyes were slightly glossy, and he gave a sad smile to the other. "It's a bad romance all the way around, and it's been too long for both of us... we both grew up... grew apart." His voice cracked. "Right?" It wasn't fair. They should have been together. Etzer should have tried harder to try to find Uller, instead of moping in his room.

His head bowed again and his shoulders shook as he let his messy black hair fall over his eyes, hiding the tears that fell. It hurt too much to do this, and Etzer wanted no part of it... but it needed to be done. He couldn't pretend this large chasm between them just didn't exist.

Saint Sergio

 

[Bronze Coffee]

The confirmation that they were growing apart hurt like a knife, and yet it was he who brought it up first. So he bowed his own head and then just let the tears slip free, not able to even hide them, or the way his breathing hitched on the intake. He licked his lips slowly before taking a deep breath and rubbed a hand at his eyes.

It wasn't fair. To either of them. He took a deep breath again, let out a pained noise and then swallowed again. Jack, his words were getting caught in his throat. Uller felt like he was choking on them. He had to push through it.

"So this... This is the end," he whispered, just holding back a sobbing noise. "We don't.. fit. We changed. ...I left..." His chest felt like it was on fire, like it was on fire and going to burst at the same time. "I love you. I.. love you so much, Etzer. ...Maybe we should just be friends...?"

Jack damn it, that was beyond lame.

Kanth

 

[Kanth]

"I would like that very much." His voice shook, but it was strong even though it wavered with the sobs that threatened to escape Etzer's body.

"And... please keep the things I gave you." He gave them to Uller out of love, and nothing more. Etzer hoped that he'd cherish them as much as Etzer had enjoyed giving them.

Saint Sergio

 

[Bronze Coffee]

Uller nodded and slowly reached up to the other's cheek. He pulled Etzer's face up and leaned in to press a tear salty kiss to those lips. The last one they'd share as far as he knew. He kept it close mouth, but firm, trying to convey how sorry he was, all of the tortured feelings of love and sorrow and a promise that things would get better.

"...I hope you're happy again one day." The sob wasn't restrained this time and he slowly got up, rubbing his eyes again and sniffled. "I'll see you around." He tipped his head back slowly and then headed for the door, taking his coat as he went.

"Goodbye, Etzer."

Kanth

 

[Kanth]

It was the end for both of them.

Etzer stroked Uller's hair as he returned with a chaste kiss of his own, holding onto Uller's hand as he pulled away... and he let go, letting his arm drop slowly to the bed, watching as his first love walked away.

Walked out of his life.

"I'm sorry." The frost demon forced a smile, his cheeks wet with his frosty tears. "I wish the same for you."

Placing his fingers over the lower half of his face, Etzer pressed the palm of his hand against his lips as he watched Uller walk out of his room, shutting the door behind him.

There was nothing more to say.

There was nothing more to do.

Closing his eyes, Etzer fell onto his bed and didn't bother to get up as frost welled up around him, creeping around his form and spreading on the bed, chilling the entire room colder than it had ever been.

The hardest part was letting go.

Saint Sergio