The camera fades-in to show The Brokenly Extraordinarily Fantastic Englishman, Cartwright, celebrating his victory in his locker room with the four female fans from the front row and his butler Trent. They are sitting around a round table drinking cups of tea that Trent is pouring for the five of them from a sensible-looking teapot. WWFG Interviewer Thomas Phillipe enters the room to rudely interrupt Cartwright's crazy and energetic post-match victory time.
Thomas: "Cartwright, congratulations on saving your career and ending the career of your long-time super fan JAWS. How do you feel right now?"
Cartwright smiles as he nods his head towards the naturally bouncy young women drinking tea with him, who all giggle and blush.
Cartwright: "Thanks Tim! I feel great! I taught JAWS a lesson is loyalty, I taught my butler what a winner looks like because he has no idea what a winner is AND I have the company of these lovely ladies! We're going to have an even better time after this nice tea after I kick you and my butler out! Who's up for some fun?!"
The women giggle and all put their hands up because they are having the time of their worthless lives being in the company of somebody as famous and brilliant as Cartwright.
Cartwright: "They're going to lose their minds when I show them how to play Frustration!"
Thomas: "I'm still shocked that you resorted to using a chainsaw to cut JAWS limbs off. Was that always your intention to do that to JAWS?"
Cartwright: "Winners find a way to win! JAWS refused to lose via standard and acceptably psychologically sound wrestling spots, such as a piledriver on to the steel steps or being sent through a flaming table or a finisher, so I had to try something else! Hey, if you think sawing-off his legs and arms was brutal, I had to blow him up with dynamite to defeat him in another promotion! Let's just say I knew exactly what I was getting into with my match tonight at Halloween Havoc, so I knew what it would take to win a JAWS match! I thought that match was a lot of fun and should have main evented this show! The end of either of our careers is a big deal and amazing selling point for Halloween Havoc the show, but I guess the powers that be would rather put the spotlight and all their promotional monetary power on some cross-dressing freak instead! Ha!"
Thomas: "Now that you have finished your business with JAWS, what's next for The Extraordinary Englishman?!"
Cartwright: "I am Extraordinary, aren't I?! Thanks Tony! Obviously, the WWFG Legacy Championship or WWFG World Heavyweight Championship, whatever the powers that be are calling it this year, is always in my sights because as far as I'm concerned I never lost it!
WWFG War Games 2015 was going to be The Cartwright Screwjob no matter what because the new owner didn't like me! She thought that she deserved to be champion instead of me, which is clear madness! I have shown time and time again why I am the best and I deserve the top spot through activity, amazing promos and excellent matches but she thought that she could bully her way to the top! I had to defend it in a triple threat match and I was totally on my way to victory as I am the dominant champion against lesser competition, but just like Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 31, I was robbed by a cash-in! Hiro cashed-in, disappointed everyone as champion and disappointed everyone at this very show against Chrono! He should have stayed retired on that one big disappointment! A battle royal gets booked for the vacant championship and I as the rightful and deserving champion do not have it returned to me?! What a load of bullshit! I get put into a triple threat contendership match for the title that I never lost the next show....and JAWS costs me the match by attacking my butler and HE gets pinned?! I get robbed AGAIN by somebody who is supposed to be my biggest fan?! You just can't trust anyone these days!"
Cartwright pauses for a moment as he lets all of his emotions out. 2016 has been a long road for him getting back on track towards what really matters to him. Trent keeps his head down, stirring a fresh pot of tea. Trent would never have any negative thoughts towards the man who has forced him to become his butler since this years Wrestlemania. Fortunately for Cartwright, he owns Trents WWFG Contract thanks to that match so his loyalty is assured for as long as Trent wants a career.
Cartwright: "I have had enough of being denied what is mine! This year has been long, tiring and frustrating here in WWFG! The bookers want to mess me about?! I'll show them! I'll mess them about! We don't know whether the next Pay-Per-View event is WWFG TLC or WWFG Royal Rumble right now, but I am going to book myself into those matches right now and one way or another I will be challenging for the WWFG Undisputed Legacy World Heavyweight Championship and I am going to win it because I know how good I am and the world knows that I can do it because I've done it before and I just keep getting better!"
The crowd lets out a roar of cheers and claps towards Cartwright's impassioned speech.
Crowd: "CARTY! CARTY! CARTY! CARTY! CARTY!"
Thomas: "One last thing, Cartwright. You may have missed it earlier because your match was placed strangely early and you have been celebrating since but Salem Croft returned earlier tonight and claimed that you cost him his Money In The Bank cash-in and that he wanted to settle the score with you..."
Cartwright: "Who?! I'm sorry but it has been so long ago since I've heard anything about him that I have forgotten all about him! The Native American guy who had a different gimmick every show?! Hey, he was alright, he booked me well! But I don't remember being involved in anything to do with any cash-in attempt! Somebody is going to have to check the WWFG Archives for that one! I'm not going to do it though because I'm not focused on him! I'm not focused on anything except for the WWFG Undisputed Legacy Conclusive Heritage World Heavyweight Championship! If Salem tries to get in my way in achieving what I want...well then we might have a problem! But as far as his little grudge about something that may not have even happened years ago...just let it go dude! Salem can't just come back and insert himself wherever he pleases because he is not me! What has he been doing while I have continued to be here, putting the work in when nobody else has?! He hasn't been anywhere! WWFG is all about me and my story! I am the one that matters! I am the one that got robbed! Salem?! He's probably been protesting some pipeline somewhere while running a rigged gambling circuit! Good for him but that wasn't done here! I stayed, he left and that's that!"
The camera fades-out with a now relaxed Cartwright grabbing hold of something from under the table that is not his crotch. He lifts it up, showing the ladies a cardboard box containing the board game Frustration with a huge smile on his face. He loves that game!
JR: "Cartwright just made me a huge believer in him once again, King! He was so passionate and heartfelt, I believe every word he had to say! Cartwright has had enough of being denied what is his and that's the WWFG World Heavyweight Championship, the biggest and most prestigious prize in the wrestling industry!"
King: "Considering he sawed another mans limbs off to keep his career alive, I should think so! If that isn't going to fire-up and motivate you, nothing will! With his win tonight, Cartwright showed that he isn't ready to quit and that he isn't ready to stop continuing to fight for what he believes he deserves!"
Thomas: "Cartwright, congratulations on saving your career and ending the career of your long-time super fan JAWS. How do you feel right now?"
Cartwright smiles as he nods his head towards the naturally bouncy young women drinking tea with him, who all giggle and blush.
Cartwright: "Thanks Tim! I feel great! I taught JAWS a lesson is loyalty, I taught my butler what a winner looks like because he has no idea what a winner is AND I have the company of these lovely ladies! We're going to have an even better time after this nice tea after I kick you and my butler out! Who's up for some fun?!"
The women giggle and all put their hands up because they are having the time of their worthless lives being in the company of somebody as famous and brilliant as Cartwright.
Cartwright: "They're going to lose their minds when I show them how to play Frustration!"
Thomas: "I'm still shocked that you resorted to using a chainsaw to cut JAWS limbs off. Was that always your intention to do that to JAWS?"
Cartwright: "Winners find a way to win! JAWS refused to lose via standard and acceptably psychologically sound wrestling spots, such as a piledriver on to the steel steps or being sent through a flaming table or a finisher, so I had to try something else! Hey, if you think sawing-off his legs and arms was brutal, I had to blow him up with dynamite to defeat him in another promotion! Let's just say I knew exactly what I was getting into with my match tonight at Halloween Havoc, so I knew what it would take to win a JAWS match! I thought that match was a lot of fun and should have main evented this show! The end of either of our careers is a big deal and amazing selling point for Halloween Havoc the show, but I guess the powers that be would rather put the spotlight and all their promotional monetary power on some cross-dressing freak instead! Ha!"
Thomas: "Now that you have finished your business with JAWS, what's next for The Extraordinary Englishman?!"
Cartwright: "I am Extraordinary, aren't I?! Thanks Tony! Obviously, the WWFG Legacy Championship or WWFG World Heavyweight Championship, whatever the powers that be are calling it this year, is always in my sights because as far as I'm concerned I never lost it!
WWFG War Games 2015 was going to be The Cartwright Screwjob no matter what because the new owner didn't like me! She thought that she deserved to be champion instead of me, which is clear madness! I have shown time and time again why I am the best and I deserve the top spot through activity, amazing promos and excellent matches but she thought that she could bully her way to the top! I had to defend it in a triple threat match and I was totally on my way to victory as I am the dominant champion against lesser competition, but just like Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 31, I was robbed by a cash-in! Hiro cashed-in, disappointed everyone as champion and disappointed everyone at this very show against Chrono! He should have stayed retired on that one big disappointment! A battle royal gets booked for the vacant championship and I as the rightful and deserving champion do not have it returned to me?! What a load of bullshit! I get put into a triple threat contendership match for the title that I never lost the next show....and JAWS costs me the match by attacking my butler and HE gets pinned?! I get robbed AGAIN by somebody who is supposed to be my biggest fan?! You just can't trust anyone these days!"
Cartwright pauses for a moment as he lets all of his emotions out. 2016 has been a long road for him getting back on track towards what really matters to him. Trent keeps his head down, stirring a fresh pot of tea. Trent would never have any negative thoughts towards the man who has forced him to become his butler since this years Wrestlemania. Fortunately for Cartwright, he owns Trents WWFG Contract thanks to that match so his loyalty is assured for as long as Trent wants a career.
Cartwright: "I have had enough of being denied what is mine! This year has been long, tiring and frustrating here in WWFG! The bookers want to mess me about?! I'll show them! I'll mess them about! We don't know whether the next Pay-Per-View event is WWFG TLC or WWFG Royal Rumble right now, but I am going to book myself into those matches right now and one way or another I will be challenging for the WWFG Undisputed Legacy World Heavyweight Championship and I am going to win it because I know how good I am and the world knows that I can do it because I've done it before and I just keep getting better!"
The crowd lets out a roar of cheers and claps towards Cartwright's impassioned speech.
Crowd: "CARTY! CARTY! CARTY! CARTY! CARTY!"
Thomas: "One last thing, Cartwright. You may have missed it earlier because your match was placed strangely early and you have been celebrating since but Salem Croft returned earlier tonight and claimed that you cost him his Money In The Bank cash-in and that he wanted to settle the score with you..."
Cartwright: "Who?! I'm sorry but it has been so long ago since I've heard anything about him that I have forgotten all about him! The Native American guy who had a different gimmick every show?! Hey, he was alright, he booked me well! But I don't remember being involved in anything to do with any cash-in attempt! Somebody is going to have to check the WWFG Archives for that one! I'm not going to do it though because I'm not focused on him! I'm not focused on anything except for the WWFG Undisputed Legacy Conclusive Heritage World Heavyweight Championship! If Salem tries to get in my way in achieving what I want...well then we might have a problem! But as far as his little grudge about something that may not have even happened years ago...just let it go dude! Salem can't just come back and insert himself wherever he pleases because he is not me! What has he been doing while I have continued to be here, putting the work in when nobody else has?! He hasn't been anywhere! WWFG is all about me and my story! I am the one that matters! I am the one that got robbed! Salem?! He's probably been protesting some pipeline somewhere while running a rigged gambling circuit! Good for him but that wasn't done here! I stayed, he left and that's that!"
The camera fades-out with a now relaxed Cartwright grabbing hold of something from under the table that is not his crotch. He lifts it up, showing the ladies a cardboard box containing the board game Frustration with a huge smile on his face. He loves that game!
JR: "Cartwright just made me a huge believer in him once again, King! He was so passionate and heartfelt, I believe every word he had to say! Cartwright has had enough of being denied what is his and that's the WWFG World Heavyweight Championship, the biggest and most prestigious prize in the wrestling industry!"
King: "Considering he sawed another mans limbs off to keep his career alive, I should think so! If that isn't going to fire-up and motivate you, nothing will! With his win tonight, Cartwright showed that he isn't ready to quit and that he isn't ready to stop continuing to fight for what he believes he deserves!"