Armed With Just His Personal Relationship With Jesus, Man Invents Several New Heresies

May 13, 2016

PORTLAND, OR—Local lone-ranger Christian Bill Pershing, proud of his individualistic approach to faith unrestrained by creeds or orthodoxy, proudly announced today that he came up with at least a half-dozen new ways of thinking about Jesus, all of which constitute grievous heresies.

His theology, though vague, seems to be a strange mix of Arianism, semi-Nestorianism, and what commentators have identified as teachings from the Teletubbies and Dora the Explorer.

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