January 2, 2017

Happy New Year, and I pray your affections are stirred most strongly toward our Lord Jesus Christ this coming year.

I couldn’t help but notice that you made some resolutions this year. Something about trying to show up on time for work more often, or to read a book from start to finish perhaps? Or else an attempt to lose ten pounds over the next couple of months?

I think it’s great that you have some resolutions. Adorable, really.

In case you didn’t know, I made like, 70 of them. They’re pretty famous. You might call me the Godfather of resolutions. And mine weren’t just simple goals like “losing weight” or “going to the gym.” Oh no.

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