Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You

[Garland-Green]

When You Step On Them

June 7, 2018

BILLUND, DENMARK—Lego has just introduced new and improved interlocking plastic bricks that will instantly kill you when you step on them, sources at the company’s headquarters confirmed Thursday.

The sharper edges in the new design will just immediately put you out of your misery, so you don’t have to roll around on the ground in excruciating pain for minutes on end. Utilizing advanced laser-driven techniques, Lego factories can now hone the edges of the famously sharp and painful bricks to such a fine point that the human nervous system instantly shuts down upon coming into contact with them.

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[D-BoyTheFighter]

Wait, WHAT?! eek

[Edit] Oh, wait, this is the Babylon Bee--the Christian's equivalent of the Onion. Boy, I feel so stupid now. sweatdrop