I originally posted this a very long time ago but it is still applicable to this day! Quotes are questions that were asked to me via PM with my answers below! I have added some more details now that I have gained a little more experience over the years doing this! cool

PM
Yeah, so um I'm still a little confused on how promos work. I am not exactly sure how to do them.

How I usually break down promos is like this:-

Entrance

Talk about your storyline and/or upcoming match etc. What makes it important to your character?! How has the storyline changed your character?! What is on the line?!

Talk about your opponent, tag partner etc. Why do you want to win?! What don't you like about your opponent?!

Last paragraph should aim to end the promo or set-up someone to join it.
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When you put it like that they seem easy to do. Here is my first attempt below:-

--- by --- suddenly blasts thru the arena as a figure walks thru the aisle he looks at the fans and then proceeds to flip them off he then slides into the ring looking at --- he then unmasks and removes his coat not once taking his eyes off --- he then asks for a mic "my name is --- I'm your new opponent I took out that little shrimp you were suppose to face so if you dont want to get your head kicked off by me get the hell out of my ring" he said to --- drawing heat from the crowd "shut up you brainless idiots I'm not here to please you, to make friends, to be the good guy you all want no I'm here to destroy anyone and everyone in my way" the crowd started chanting "you suck" to --- as he chuckled "keep chanting all you want it doesnt matter if you love me or hate me you all came here to watch me"

The couple of things that jump-out at me is that everything is typed in one big paragraph and the spellings and punctuation need work.

By using full words rather than 'thru' you eat-up more lines so promos look bigger straight away! By breaking areas into smaller paragraphs it makes them easier to read and again eats-up more lines! Quick and easy shortcuts to a more impressive promo!
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yeah i see what you mean by separating it that makes it easier to read and adds more of the lines to make it more compelling and thought out.

Exactly! Here's how I'd have wrote yours as a example:-

--- by --- suddenly blasts through the arena as a figure walks through the aisle. He looks at the fans and then proceeds to flip them off. He then slides into the ring looking at ---. The man then unmasks and removes his coat, not once taking his eyes off ---.

He then asks for a mic, giving his opponent an angry stare. He is not in a good mood tonight.


"My name is ---. I'm your new opponent because I took out that little shrimp you were supposed to face. So if you don't want to get your head kicked off by me, get the hell out of my ring."

He said to --- drawing heat from the crowd.

"Shut up you brainless idiots. I'm not here to please you, to make friends, to be the good guy you all want. No, I'm here to destroy anyone and everyone that gets in my way."

The crowd started chanting "You Suck" to --- as he chuckled.

"Keep chanting all you want, it doesn't matter if you love me or hate me, you all came here to watch me."

Notice the formatting to make it easier to read! I like to put actions in italics and bold speech! You could also add commentary for another layer of storytelling!
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that makes it look a lot better so in between each time a character speaks i should sometimes separate it by starting new paragraphs

I think that's the general rule in writing for speech, to start a new line when speaking or at most a new line, quick expression and one more speech line.

For example:-

"I'm so damn hungry." Cartwright states. "That I could eat a toe and not puke it up."

I'm no expert at English Lit or anything, just what I've picked-up from experience! It doesn't look good to have, say:-

"Wow!" Cartwright says. "There sure is alot of..." He thinks. "....speech text here....." He thinks again. "For a paragraph." He mutters out-loud.
Quote:
oh that makes a lot more sense then what i was doing because with that it avoids confusing the person reading it and makes them want to keep reading right

Plus with the second example, if I broke those up into seperate paragraphs then that's at least another three-four lines added to a promo!

"Wow!" Cartwright says. "There sure is alot of...."

He thinks.

"...Speech text here....."

He thinks again.

"....For a paragraph." He mutters out-loud.

As you say, it's little things like this that make promos easier to read and make people want to continue reading it! Have you ever seen a block of text and thought, "Not interested."?

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yes lots of times to be honest it makes me not even want to read

I think everyone would say that, a big block of text looks boring to read and also with all the words so close together you can lose track of where you are!