No one's looking. The voice sounded like soft mint on his tongue, a breeze in his brain, and R'ose looked up from where he'd been sitting head in hands. It was obvious he wanted to cry, or had even been crying in soft spurts here and there, as his cheeks were a little redder than usual and his eyes far more puffy. Whatever traces of cheer that normally danced on the red-head's face were long gone, replaced with a weariness beyond his Turns. I mean it. There's no one here but me. It's okay. The gentleness of Sahrawith's voice and tone hurt far worse than it should have and R'ose winced as though he'd been slapped. She knew exactly was he was thinking without him having to even process it. RenoseMine....

The use of his Name was enough. "Just stop. I'm fine." One of his hands balled into a fist, crushing the object it held within. A red welt on his cheek indicated how strongly it'd been pressed into his flesh as though R'ose maybe thought he could absorb something if he tried hard enough. "I mean, we both knew it was coming, right?" From where she loomed above him in the darkness, like a shadowed god watching down on a man in prayer, Sahrawith shook her head. "We did. Or at least I did."

Carefully, he opened his hand and looked down at the well-weathered charm. It'd been attached to his riding gears for over a Turn now and time had not entirely been kind. Sure he could have and should have treasured it more but it was best beside him, on the saddle he rode as he fought against Thread. Sahrawith had liked it there and had insisted it after their first successful flight. It was a protective charm, she'd said, even though R'ose didn't quite buy it. "I'm fine with it."

The green dragon lowered down her beautiful head, allowing her muzzle to come to rest against the open palm and the charm. Softly she breathed against it, her eyes whirling the gentlest of purple as she turned her gaze to meet with her lifemates. You're not okay. Little flakes of white began to dot in as though someone had tossed paint against the massive swirl of purple; it would have been stunning where she not expressing her grief. Please don't lie to me.

"And why not? You lie all the time about everything." R'ose stopped, sighing. He hadn't meant to snap. "....granted I lie all the time too. You probably got that nasty habit from me." He shook his head before moving his fingers to scratch at his beloved's lower jaw. "Whatever am I going to do with you?" Sahrawith's soft laugh echoed against his ears as she pressed more against him.

I never lie, I simply embellish. There's a difference. R'ose found that hard to believe with what he'd heard her say, or what others had told him she'd said, but at the same time it was true. Sahrawith liked to exaggerate at the best of times but he couldn't recall her outright lying. Even now she was doing her best, choosing her words and carefully speaking them. Sahrawith knew.

That didn't make it any easier for R'ose though and he used his free hand to softly disengage the dragon from his other palm. "Do you think, even for the littlest bit, he might have loved me?" There was a long pause as Sahrawith raised her head back up, and it would taste a lie between the pair of them to say that she wasn't taking her time in answering. "It's fine. I've got no reason to be upset like this when it's my own fault."

But it's not your fault. This reply was a lot faster and without the added humming of padding for time. I mean, maybe it was? It's not like you actually told him or anything, or the two of you made a promise. The teen had to bite his lip, both literally and figuratively, to stop himself from lashing back. She was right, of course, except that R'ose had said something. Granted it was in the most roundabout way possible and he never really did anything beyond it, but something had been said.

And it still hadn't been enough. He should have said it so many times he was blue in the face, or that it basically was a mantra he chanted enough that it got through. But pride - and fear for a young dragon - had kept him from repeating it. From properly saying he was in love with one of his best friends.
From saying he wanted to be together. His pride had made it all his fault and now there was no one else to blame.

His fist curled around the charm again, R'ose being fully aware that his fingers would ache tomorrow from all the pressure he was placing today. Tomorrow R'ose could worry about those problems when he had trouble with basic tasks. For today, for tonight, he didn't care and simply squeezed like his life depended on it. His hand was pressed together so tight he could feel his fingernails pricking into the flesh of his palm, and he could feel the throbbing of his heartbeat from how his grip held.

Mine, what is it you want most?

"I....just want him to be happy. That's all I've wanted." R'ose sighed and released his hand, letting the charm fall from his grasp and to the ground. It was flaked with speckles of blood here and there, his palm indeed having been pierced by his nails. The wounds were minor and would heal, as would everything else. This sadness, this anger. "I mean, it'd have been best if he was happy with me but that wasn't going to happen. Just like you're not the type of dragon who'd ever cozy up with a bronze." Sahrawith snorted and moved to remind that the winner of her first flight had indeed been a bronze. "You didn't really enjoy it though. That was your body doing the choosing, not your heart."

I don't really see a difference. Sometimes the body goes before the hearts and it takes them a little bit more time to catch up. Nothing wrong with that. The green dragon sounded so smug in spite of everything, and R'ose wanted to reach over and give her a punch. He didn't though and instead motioned for her to lower her head back down; Sahrawith obliged, even going to far as to allow him the grace to rest his cheek against her own. Are you still going to be his friend?

The question wasn't too far-fetched and he could hear the hope in her voice. Sahrawith was quite taken with the bronze pair, dragon and rider alike, and even if R'ose wasn't their biggest fan at the moment he knew it wouldn't last forever. He'd feel better in the morning, and the morning after that. Pain would fade and eventually he'd even forget he'd been in love. In the future R'ose would honestly be able to wish him well, maybe even support him. For now though, again, this night was for mourning. "If he wants to be my friend."

I'd like that. The green closed her eyes and thrummed, letting the vibrations of her massive body rattle against her rider. His injured hand remained open, as did the charm on the ground that neither would move to pick up. This was good night and good-bye.

Wild roses would never be allowed to grow alongside a proper garden.

And that was why he finally cried.