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Alegriath was big enough now that Arlie could comfortable sit against the white's chest, which was precisely what she did whenever they were winding down for the evening. Nothing would ever quite recreate that feeling of being able to hold her dragon in her arms like she could in the early days, but Alegriath liked to think of it as being able to reciprocate but, like, indefinitely. Being held was something intimate to Arlie, which was strange given the already impossibly close connection between rider and dragon, but there was just something indescribably comforting in the physical nature of it. She hadn't realized Haveli never held her quite like this before; she...honestly couldn't remember the last time someone ever had since they ran away all those turns ago. To be enveloped and protected and cherished and touched all at once...Arlie had found herself tearing up the first time she felt Alegriath's warmth surrounding her like that, which had led to their usual dance of sorry-don't be sorry-sorry about being sorry-you silly bean.
Arlie leaned against her then as the sun shrank behind the horizon. Breaking through the fiery colors of the sky was a flight of dragons, dots of blue and green and more participating in the practically daily ritual of rising. Several were happening at once, and her gaze drifted to whichever was most in her field of vision as she relaxed. Alegriath's tail, currently held in her arms like a pillow, twitched idly.
< Oh, that's Moirath up there this time! > the white chirped to her rider before more loudly cheering, < You totally got this, cousin~! > No green she knew could possibly get in the air to rise without a resounding cheer from the bundle of joy; it never ocurred to her that they might not hear or might not want to.
Arlie hummed and hesitated. When Samodith had gone up, she hadn't been ready to think about the implications. When Yulaniath went soon after, she had almost approached the topic but chickened out. It seemed the third time was the charm.
Hey, um, Allie. Arlie dropped her gaze to the dragon's tail, which she now stroked to give herself something to do. Do you, um, ever think about all the stuff we're missing out on. When they do that, I mean?
Alegriath tilted her head down at her. < Like rising? Hmmmmmmmmmmm~ >
It had been one of the earliest topics discussed in their training, but it hadn't ever really hit Arlie that it would be happening to other weyrlings, people she knew and had been knowing for some time now, until it became more and more a reality. Technically an adult by Pern standards, and having experienced hardship for most of her life, she no less still felt like a child in many ways. Love and sex...These weren't really things she had thought about before for a variety of reasons. The biggest one had been because she had no idea how she could ever talk to Haveli about either when it was hazardous enough talking about friends. It was just easier to let it stay closeted when it didn't really matter and seemingly never would. But weyr life had let her relax in some ways, and Alegriath was now old enough that the subjects wouldn't accidentally spook her or make it weird.
(Although Arlie was almost completely sure her dragon was completely unflappable in any case, and practically heedless of the existence of fear.)
< What're we missing, you think? >
"I'unno...Stuff." Arlie traced a finger across the vertebrae in Alegriath's tail, her words coming out stilted. "Like. Kissing? And cuddling up with someone. Or more."
Alegriath's eyes twinkled. < I can give you a kiss right now, > she threatened, tongue poking out. < And we're cuddling right now, too! But I get it. > She tilted her head against her rider's. < I thought you like Mister Gruuuuuu~ >
"N-Not like that," Arlie mumbled, the tops of her ears burning. "He's nice and he gave me a flit egg once. That's different. Nyara gave me a scarf, too, n' it's not like that."
< Oh! Good thing we cleared that up. I was ready to find gifts back! Actually, speaking of, I need to think of graduation gifts really soon...Gotta top our congrats-you're-born ones from last turn! >
Arlie sighed against the white's tail and held it close. Usually Alegriath's cheer made things easier. Here, though, it just...She didn't know how to describe it, but it felt like she was being too flippant about it. Alegriath took notice and nuzzled her some more.
< Well, um! If you don't think you're loved like that 'cause I can't rise, I think that's silly, > she said as a matter of factly. < Of course everyone loves you. So! That means at least one person loves you more, right? 'Cause there's a looooot of weyrlings and a looooot of other people at High Reaches, so it's, like, stasticalliminally true! >
"Do you even know what statistics are?" Arlie asked, hiding a faint smile behind the tail.
< It's a bunch of numbers, right? Of course they are, I'm super smart about that, > Alegriath honked. < So there's someone for you, and there's probably someone for me, and we'll always have each other, so that's like! Three? Four with Haveli? And then your friends, too! A buuuuunch of number-peoples that love you~ > And she punctuated it with a dragon kiss that Arlie pretended to dislike.
"I'm being serious, Allie." Arlie's smile faded as she looked back up at the flights of dragons. "You never thought about love? Love love, I mean."
The white hummed in thought again. There was a subtle shift in her rumination across their bond as she let the high energy drop into something more pensive, if for just a moment.
< I used to talk about it sometimes with Aviforth, > she said at length. < Blues go right after greens, right? I laughed 'cause he was tripping over himself more and it was funny, and we talked a little about it. How a lot of dragons were really pretty or handsome, especially when they flaunted it like Cousin Ingonth or Cousin Venandith, all confident. It was pretty obvious he had, like, three billion crushes, it was adorable! >
She fell silent.
< I miss him, > she said. < And I miss Cousin Eskharath. He never looked like he wanted anyone around, so that means he really needed it. His rider looked sad, too. Maybe we should've tried talking more. They would've liked the game I'm working on, 'cause it's a test of strength n' balance n' stuff, and you can do it by yourself or with others. >
Arlie wasn't so sure about that, but she said instead, "Maybe. You know, Esk's back and all."
Alegriath hwonked softly.
< Sorry, I'm getting off topic. > She wasn't one to stay sad, much as it might make her get looks; her mourning was in the good memories that stayed rather than the losses sustained. < I dunno yet, Arlie-love. I THINK everyone knows I love them by now, right? So, if that ends up being enough, that's okay by me. That's a loooooot of dragons to love, you know. If I had to worry about rising, they'd think I'm playing favorites! Although, some've them REALLY need it. It's like a second job checking on them! >
"Complaining? You?"
< Never! You'd do anything for family, right? >
Arlie, thinking of the things Haveli had done, trying to think of that in the same context as the weyrlings, curled against the white and closed her eyes. "Yeah..."
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