[PRP] Getting Over Old Wounds [Prelude x Sayre]

[NymiiNym]

For the longest time he had considered just letting it go.

Letting the feelings slip from his paws and drip into the earth, swallowed over time until there was nothing remaining in its wake. It had been the easy answer to a long and tiring journey -- a way out. How many times had he played this exact route? Daciana, Cloud Chaser, Ume; it never ended well. He had decided a long time ago, back when the feeling budded and began to pull at the chambers of his heart, that he was not going to repeat it all again.

But that had been a grave injustice to her.

As the days turned into weeks and then months he felt the familiar beginning he had begun to curse after the second time. He was a romantic creature, so keen and eager to find his special someone, just for him. He couldn't help it, he used to claim, but he had begun to think he could. If he just ignored it and let the feeling sink into the abyss he'd be free of what he had called a curse. His desperate grasping to find the only thing in life he had truly ever wanted would end, and Prelude would be left in the ashes of it all, reborn and anew.

Sayre wasn't an easy one to forget, however.

Months turned into more and Prelude had forgotten how long it had been since he met her. They fell into a routine, blissful and innocent despite the dredges against his heart. They shared a den, although platonically. Prelude felt his heart mending, the old pains and aches turning into something soft and trembling whenever Sayre woke up and began her day with him. She had stood by his side as he made amends with his daughter, leaned against him when the nights became too hard and depression bared its fangs, and never wavered even when he had a nasty day. Prelude was inherently a kind male, but his illness had begun to consume him at one point. Normally sweet words came with a bite, and Sayre didn't run.

She should have, Prelude often believed, but she didn't.

And then slowly he felt that pain again, although new and foreign. He had always been so quick to claim his affections, and yet the slow burn of their every day had replaced his younger habits. He had time, and as his jaded hurt fell away it was replaced with something else: desire. Heated and sharp at the edges, Prelude began to burn when her shoulder brushed his, or when her hair fell over her shoulder in the morning. None of it compared to the sting in his chest whenever she smiled his way, though, and Prelude couldn't swallow it anymore.

He loved her.

He couldn't imagine her being by anyone else's side. Couldn't sit there and bite back words any longer at the realization that she deserved more. She deserved love, and she'd find it someday. She was beautiful, smart, strong, and a flaming fire he couldn't contain. He didn't want to, either, but someday someone would see the things he did and she'd have the story she deserved.

He could act now, or let it fade by. Let what could have been, if she felt the same way, go. Let himself wallow in past hurt and mistakes and watch the only good thing he had move on. No. He didn't WANT that!

So he wouldn't have it.

He had called Sayre to meet him outside the den once she finished eating, his tail thumping against the ground nervously. He had to do it right -- word it better than he ever had before, for this love was all-consuming and burned. Something was different, something about Sayre was right, and while he had loved all his previous loves with his entire being he hadn't felt this kind of burning before.

He had to do this right, so even if she didn't accept his feelings he still knew he had spoken his truth. But -- deities be damned, he was terrified.  

[X Moon Fighter X]

There was a feeling building up with in her. Her months with him has put something in her she never thought she feel this way again. Yet there she was. She felt that desire. That ever burning want. Those rare moments she had to herself, it would be all she thought about.

Her mind often drifted to the lanky 'Phim. His shimmering emerald eyes that had finally revealed themselves to her. Whenever they twinkled she felt her heart race and skip beats. She often found herself lost in them. She loved is soft and not very convincing way that he fussed whenever she groomed him. Only for him to return the favor.

He had become such a part of her routine she wasn't sure if she could ever go back to how she was. When she had those thoughts... the thoughts of how they were before each other... it made her terrified.

She knew he was the reason she woke up in the morning. His yellow feathers matching the warmth of the sun. She would often throw looks of adoration to him, only to look away sheepishly before he caught her. She sworn she'd never take someone again. Yet...

"...but I would be happy to be by your side for as long as you'd have me."

He wanted her too. The feeling was, as far as she was willing to admit, were mutual. Yet that desire still clung to her very core. She loved Prelude. She knew deep down inside and it scared her... She didn't want to lose what they had together. There was a sliver of something else she hadn't felt in a long time. Hope.

Hope that, perhaps, there could be more.  

[NymiiNym]

Normally, Prelude was a patient 'Phim, and he had meant it when he asked her to take her time. He hadn't considered that, as time passed, he would grow more and more unsettled, anxiety creeping into his legs and paws as his tail hit the ground harder. How would she respond to him? He wasn't dense, although he could name someone who considered otherwise. He had caught her glances, noted how her body relaxed when he slid up to her side. Small gestures accumulated into clear as day signs, but that didn't mean she wanted to be with him. You could like someone and still not wish to be tethered to their side for life.

What would he do if she said 'no'? Accept it, of course, but then what? What could change after? Would their mornings together end? Would she begin her pursuit elsewhere? Or would it teeter back to normal, days once again melding into one another until she found her special someone? Could he handle that? He'd have to, he knew. He'd lap up the last of their days together eagerly, even if he knew at the end it'd end in hurt.

That's how much he loved her.

Desire -- he had felt it strong and hot in his chest. The word was often associated with something else, but for Prelude, it was the intensity of what he wanted; them, together. Love. He desired her and their future, wanting nothing more than to break the silence and pull her close when she brushed past, or help push her hair back in place when it fell. The intimate and small gestures one did with their beloved, that was desire for him, and as he waited he felt the eagerness for her to answer him building.

Patience was hard.
Could anyone fault him that it had rubbed thin?

"Sayre?" he called into the den, caving finally.  

[X Moon Fighter X]

Unfortunately, for Prelude, it was one of those morning when Sayre's mind was elsewhere as she did her routine. Stretching her muscles and wings, plucking unruly fluff and other maintenance she performed on herself. Though, if Prelude knew just what was on her mind he wouldn't complain as much. Her ear twitch as a soft thump became a more predominate THUD. She blinked her thoughts away and peeked her head out of the den. "Yes, Prelude?" She looked over him before her whole body jolted. "R-Right! I'm sorry. One more minute! I swear!"

With that she ducked back in and cleaned up the small mess she made. Discarded fluff and feathers from their meal was swept out with her large bushy tail. She made sure she looked somewhat decent. She knew Prelude didn't mind. He had saw her in her absolute worst and still stayed by her side. She felt taking care of herself was in a way thanking him for helping her as he did.

She may had taken a little more than a minute and for that she was sorry, "Right. It was just a nice morning I got a little lost in it." She smiled at him. Her silvery eyes looking into his emerald one. Heat sneaking into her cheeks before looking at the culprit of the impatient thumps. She couldn't help but to smile more.  

[NymiiNym]

She startled and he felt the ever-growing presence of the need to apologize forming in his throat, his face a sheepish smile. He could have waited longer, but, no- no, he couldn't, not without the aid of a walk or activity to distract himself. He was afraid if he had chosen so he'd balk under his own intents, unable to follow through in the end.

"No worries," he promised, tail flipping absently, a feeble attempt to show his lack of concern. It flipped back into thumping, a low and inisistent sound slightly out of step with his heartbeat. Nothing could match that erratic rhythm, pounding against the claws of his ribs as it beat away.

"Did you sleep well?" He hadn’t, although sleep had been a hard routine to return to after the nights he fled Belial. Nightmares plagued his dreams, twisting and writhing hot coals through his body each night. He had long stopped trying to catch up on what he had lost and it showed in the form of dark bags around his eyes.
 

[X Moon Fighter X]

She sat back on her haunches next to him. As he asked, she observed the bags under his eyes. Hers bore the same just not as heavy. She couldn't begin to imagine what haunted his dreams. Before she found him he was in captivity. Under the firm paw of a black Daeva she only knew to be Belial. She was fortunate enough to not cross his path. Yet, she has had nightmares of a black figure with furious red eyes stalking them in the edge of night.

"As well as I could." She smiled softly at him. Worried about the amount, or lack of, sleep he was getting. "How about yourself?" She knew the answer. The proof was under his eyes. She glanced about. She knew of some plants that help with sleep. She kept a close eye on him. She doubted he asked for her just to talk about sleep.

"So? What's on your mind?" She smiled at him as her tail lazily wrapped around herself.  

[NymiiNym]

"I slept fine," he answered, already realizing his poor attempt at small talk was.... awkward, to say the least. His wings shuffled, stretching to their full length before folding inwards on themselves, nestled tightly against his back.

Right. He could do this.

"Sayre," he stalled, clearing his throat. This could change everything, and not in a good way. She could reciprocate or turn him down fairly, or.... or it could ruin their friendship entirely, leaving him in the wreckage. That was the risk one took when confessing these kinds of feelings, sure, and he had walked into the situation knowing that, but...

"I- we've- .... I'm just going to cut to the chase, okay? I'm- I like you.... a lot. No that's- I-" He paused, inhaling sharply before she could interject, determined to spit out the rest and then she could decide if she wanted to spend another second around the idiot.

"I'm in love with you." Why had it been so much harder than the last times he had said that to someone? Prelude had once been so open to love, so ready to confess his feelings and intentions. His heart pounded helplessly in his chest, breath hitching and catching as he struggled to maintain eye contact.

He had said it. This was it. He had dropped it into her lap and now he waited.  

[X Moon Fighter X]

She could sense the tension in him. Through the awkward shuffling and thumping she had a feeling he was about to tell her something. She gulped and felt her heart swan dive into the pit of stomach. Was she about to hear what she'd been dreading.

She watched as he struggled with his words. The tension melted and was replaced with something else... Her heart started to race against her chest. She opened her mouth to interject but he continued.

"I'm in love with you."

She was holding her breath and she still was. His words stuck to her.

"Prelude..."

Love was something she had been afraid of. She was afraid of getting burned again and even more so of burning someone else. Her paw lifted and her body lurched forward and she found herself curled around him.

"I love you too."