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 Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2022 5:28 pm
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Sakura 
A howling wind caressed the land, sending flurries of blinding snowflakes darting through the air. Sakura’s tired legs pressed onwards, another step through the snow, one after another, her footfalls lost to the raging wind. She suppressed a shiver, trying to use her wings to shield her body as best she could. Yet the cold still crept in as the falling snow streaked through the air, pelting her body from every direction and rending her almost blind. She blinked, trying to clear the snow from her vision, only to have it immediately blocked again. The sluggish cold was radiating up her legs, forcing each leaden step to weigh far more than seemed physically possible. At this rate, she would freeze to death long before she reached her destination. She knew she needed to seek shelter, and fast. The wind howled louder, hinting at the blizzard that was building, soon to blanket everything in a furious storm of white.
Jasper 
Jasper’s coat was bristled against the rising cold, an ominous warning of the impending storm that was to come. Luckily for him, his powers permitted him to instinctually know where to head in the face of danger, and he trawled the edge of the rocky outcrop for the shelter that he knew must be nearby. But still, knowing that there was shelter and being able to reach it were two very different things, a lesson he had previously learned the very hard way. Even the angeni of sanctuary could not always lead you to safety, not in the face of the elements’ true fury. He quickly cast his mind away, not permitting himself to think back to that… painful time. Focus on the task at hand, only focus on the present. The wind buffeted against his broad body, forcing him to brace, dispersing any fragments of the past that may have started to creep in. The storm was rising, and fast. He craned his vision, blinking through the blinding snow. Wait – what was that? A flash of… pink? Focusing on his magic, he felt no new flash of danger, bar the ominous low hum warning him of the intense storm to follow. “H-hello? Is someone there?” The wind whisked his voice away, replacing it with the dull crescendo of falling snow.
Sakura
She pressed on, unaware of the dark shape that had spotted her, fighting against the wind and ice. Her breath escaped as a ragged cloud of fog, her footfall becoming increasingly unsteady as she strove to fight against the storm. A shiver rode up her spine – the first of many – as the cold began to permeate through her thick fur. She pressed her ears back, her eyes drawn into slits, as the world before her became increasingly white.
Jasper
The shape was moving, he realised, but did not respond to his calls. A Soquili? Were they lost? Did they have somewhere safe to shelter? He held still for a moment more, assessing the situation, but knowing that he had to try to help, just in case. Tensing his muscle, he buffered himself against the wind again and began to move towards the pink shape. As he stepped away from the rocky ridge, the full force of the rising weather hit him, rendering him almost without senses. A frenzy of white, dancing through his vision. Winds buffeting him in every direction, threatening to topple him over. His mane whipped about, unsure of which direction to be pulled in. But he had his bearing, and he pressed on towards the stranger, ignoring his nagging powers which told him to turn back towards safety. The conditions were deteriorating fast. He ploughed forwards, one foot then another, his wings pressed tightly to his body to streamline his march as best he could. Finally he reached her. “Are you okay?” He yelled, but again the wind whisked his voice away. He gently touched her shoulder with his nose, trying to get her attention. “This way.” He gestured back the way he had come, towards the rocks, which the snow had already swallowed from vision.
Sakura
One second she was fighting against the storm, and the next she felt a surprising warmth bump her across her shoulder. Sakura craned her neck back, surprised to see a stallion before her. He was saying something, but she couldn’t make out what. She shook her head in confusion, knowing that speaking in this raging wind would be futile. He gestured his head over towards the side, in the universal sign of ‘this way’. Sakura blinked the snow from her eyes once more, quickly weighing up her options. To trust this stranger, or to blindly plough on through the storm? There wasn’t really a choice. She nodded, unable to see her companion very well through the snow. Something about the red and black shape felt comforting though, and she was briefly reminded of her first litter’s father, Adrian. Of course, this wasn’t him, but she did have fond memories of him all the same.
Jasper
The two ploughed on through the storm, Jasper not needing to look where he was going, but instead trusting in that innate sensation within him that told him exactly where to go – where to step, and focused on trying to block the wind from his newfound companion as much as he could. A mare – he now realised, from her petite form, though he couldn’t get a very good look at her beyond her general shape and bright colour. Not the first pink Soquili he had met, he thought, reflecting back to his foalhood days where he had lived next to quite the pink alicorn family. He took one more step, his eyes snapping back to the present. There, through the snow flurry, he could just about see the entrance to a small cave. He pressed his ears towards it, nudging his companion in that direction.
Sakura
It was a hard walk, but Sakura’s body had grown accustomed to the difficulties of travel. Her muscles were hard and wiry, and despite their weariness in the face of the cold, she continued to trudge on slowly but surely, carefully navigating across the icy ground. She didn’t know where they were going, but the stranger beside her had a confident stride and seemed to know exactly where to head. At his nudge, she aimed her gaze in that direction. A cave! She pushed forward, eager to get out of the storm, as shivers raced across her skin. The blizzard had hit far faster than she had ever expected, and she had been caught unawares. It was incredibly lucky that this stallion had found her, she realised with a start.
Jasper
They reached the cave without any further trouble, bar their sapping strength. Jasper quickly stuck his head instead, ensuring it was safe, before gesturing to the mare to join him. Immediately, relief flooded through him as the wind ceased. Though the air in the cave was chilly, it perfectly protected them from the severe snow and wind that had just been assaulting them. Shaking the worst of the moisture from his body, he turned to better look at his companion. “Hello there, I’m-”
Sakura
“-Jasper?” Sakura gasped as she finally got a good look at her saviour. A lot bigger than the last time she had seen him, to be sure, but there was no mistaking the four wings, and star-speckled red and black pelt. Not her children’s father at all, but instead a close childhood friend she hadn’t seen in years, though their appearances were not dissimilar, now that she noticed it.
Jasper
Jasper froze, not from cold, but from sheer surprise. What were the odds? That the pink Soquili he had just rescued was in fact the pink foal he had just been remembering? “Sakura?” Silence hung in the air for a moment as they both took in the sheer unlikeliness of the moment. “Wh-what are you doing here? And why were you out in a blizzard like today?”
Sakura
The mare slowly walked deeper into the cave. It wasn’t large, barely enough to hold them both, but it offered some much needed respite. She shook her mane out, spreading her wings to best dry out her feathers quickly, all her fur standing on end in an attempt to reinsulate her. “That… is a complicated question. I’m afraid my story is long and it might take a while. What about you?”
Jasper
Jasper snorted, “Well, it’s not like we’re going to be going anywhere anytime soon. Unless of course, you enjoy being an icicle? Have you a particular death wish these days?” Giving himself one last shake, he plopped himself down on the ground, arranging himself as comfortably as he could on the cold ground. “I…” His mind flashed to his aimless wandering, seeking a purpose to his life, running from the past. “Well, for want of a simple answer, I was just passing through, though with no real destination in mind.” He didn’t want her to linger too much on that, he remembered her being rather perceptive to topics he wished to avoid. “But, how have you been?”
Sakura
Knowing that she was in safe company, Sakura also allowed herself to relax, taking the weight off her legs as she sunk down onto the stony floor. It had been a while since she had rested, and her legs were weary. Slow shivers still rolled through her body, but the air in the cave soon began to warm from their ambient body heat, becoming almost comfortable. “Well. Life was certainly eventful in the years since you left.” She thought back, quickly skimming over the past few years, back to her childhood. To the carefree days, when she had played with Jasper in the glen by their home. Then to the scared days, following her mother’s death. The confusion and heartbreak as her father left and never came back. The quiet, sheltered life she had carved out for herself, always waiting for something to happen but too scared to take any initiative. The most joyful of times, as her sons were born, the sorrow as they grew up and left to start their own lives. The darkest of days, as she had been taken captive by the kalona. Picking up the broken pieces the best she could, with the help of those close to her. And since then, her desperate journey for any semblance of control over her life – trying to find the truth of where her father had gone – for closure, comfort, to be allowed to finally live free of the shadow of the past. “I left home, finally.” She surmised, with a bit of a tired chuckle, before delving further into the story of her past, giving him a brief update on everything that had happened, minus some of the more painful parts of the story.
Jasper
Jasper listened intently as she began, through the joys and the sorrows. He had always been a good listener. Something about the way he could make people feel at ease, they were always willing to tell him their troubles and woes. And he found he had greatly missed his old friend. Not just that, but missed being able to speak freely, as one only could with someone they had known their whole life. And so, for a moment, lost as he was in her life story, he permitted himself to forget about his own troubles, his life melting away like the snow dripping from his pelt.
Sakura
“-You know those stories about wishing stars giving couples baskets? Yes, well. Turns out, not so much a story as a very surprising reality. But, it was just me. One day I fell asleep under such a shooting star, and after one very interesting dream about a handsome stallion I passed by one time, I awoke to find a basket next to me that looked like a perfect combination of the two of us…”
Jasper
“No!”
Sakura
“Yes. Fate pulled a cruel jest on me then.”
Jasper
“I guess be careful what you wish for is good advice then.”
Sakura
She chuckled, “Yeah. That’s for sure.” She cleared her throat, an empty sadness slowly filling her. “That was Rose. Eya Rose. My daughter.”
Jasper
Jasper held his tongue, seeing that Sakura was visibly upset and not wanting to push her. He radiated a calming energy, trying to make her feel as comfortable and safe as possible. He wouldn’t judge. How could he? His own life was enough of a shambles.
Sakura
“She uh… well. I might have mentioned I’m on a bit of a mission. And I guess… well… uh…” She struggled to find the words. How could you tell someone how much of a failure you had been? How you’d lost your child? How she’d left? “I guess I’ve been a little bit… fanatic about it.”
Jasper
Jasper reached out with one wing, gently touching her shoulder in comfort. “Yeah?”
Sakura
“Well, traipsing around on a quest isn’t exactly the ideal situation to raise a foal in. She didn’t have the best childhood… I guess I don’t blame her. But she ran away… She was old enough to look after herself, and one hell of a tough girl, but.” She trailed off, her voice breaking with sadness. Her flanks heaved in a heavy sigh. “I feel like such a failure. I wish I knew she was safe, doing okay. I wish I could apologise. I was an awful parent.”
Jasper
He pushed his wing in tighter, wishing he could take the pain away from his former childhood friend. When they were young she had always been so full of life, so innocent and happy and free. How had her life brought her around to this? It seemed that disaster struck everyone he knew. Maybe disaster was one of those inevitable things in life. His mind flashed to Misrae… the love of his life, and the empty void in his chest. He too had suffered, but losing a child? That was something he couldn’t imagine. “It sounds like you care. And it sounds like you were struggling. And it sounds like you did the best you could, given the circumstances. I can’t imagine you being a bad parent, Sakura. You always wanted to be a mother, even as a tiny foal!”
Sakura
Sakura shook her head. “No, I didn’t. I…” She sighed again, closing her eyes. “I really messed up this time. I’ve messed up a lot. But losing Rose was the biggest mistake of my entire life. And I’ll probably have to spend eternity making up for it. But…” That incessant urge to keep going, to find her father. The only thing that kept her going through all the dark times in her life. The one bright spark she had. It was an urge. A compulsion. An obsession. Something she couldn’t break. It was like she was an addict, and that was the only thing that had ever mattered. How could she explain that? How could she put into words that everything, her children, her siblings, her own life, had all faded in meaning in comparison to her goal? “But I can’t stop. I have to keep going.” Her voice broke again, tears bursting the hidden dams in her eyes. “I can’t explain it, I just. Have to.” She shook with the raw power of the emotions gripping her. Unable to fight. Unable to flee. Only able to put one foot in front of the other and keep heading towards that resolution.
Jasper
Jasper’s heart was in his throat as he heard her confession. He’d been there, when you’re in the darkest pits of despair, and you pick one thing to hold onto. And that’s all that mattered. How long had he been lost, broken, after Misrae had passed? Was he any better now, or was he still wandering around, lost and depressed, looking for that way out? Looking for his quest, his magic mission that would fix everything? But no. He knew that wasn’t true. Obsessing over some long lost goal would bring nothing but despair. Look at Sakura – maybe once it had given her purpose, but now this ‘quest’, this undying belief that she had to pursue this goal – was ironically the one thing that was killing her the most now.
Sakura
She took a deep, shaky breath. “And that I guess brings me round to my last round of children.” Would he judge her? Hate her? Would he understand? Could anyone understand why a mother would abandon her foals? “I… met a stallion. While I was searching. It wasn’t a big deal, I was just… really lonely. And he was so sweet.” A sad smile tickled the corner of her mouth for a second, but tears still broke through her face, her voice quivering with every word. “It was one night. Just one cursed night. And yet, it was enough. I was pregnant. After Rose I knew I couldn’t do the same to these kids. I had to do what was best for them… But I couldn’t just give up. I couldn’t settle down. So I went back home, to my brother. Do you remember Casper?”
Jasper
Jasper nodded, of course he did. He remembered all four of that chaotic family. They’d all been good friends as foals. Casper, Sakura, Obsidian and Rose Quartz. They’d had many fond memories together, until he’d had to move away. How different would his life have been if his parents hadn’t decided to relocate? If he’d been there for Sakura this whole time? His heart skipped a beat. No, then he would never have met Misrae. And while he was sad she was gone, those days were the best of his life, he wouldn’t have sacrificed them for the world.
Sakura
“Well, I left them with him. Uncle Casper is, for all intents and purposes, their father now.” Her shoulders slumped. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish I could see them. I wish I could stop. But I can’t. Poor Casper. He doesn’t deserve the burden. But he took them. And I told the father, Tiriaq. He was… surprised, but I think he wanted to help. I hope he and Casper get along…” She turned her eyes downwards, unable to face Jasper. “How did this become my life?” She paused, clearing her throat. “But here I am, spilling all my problems onto you. I’m sure this isn’t what you had in mind when you led me from the blizzard. What about you, Jasper? How’s life been treating you? Do you have kids, a family?”
Jasper
Jasper turned very, very quiet for a moment, the only sound the low howl of the blizzard raging outside. A deep sigh escaped him. Well, there was no evading it now. He had to put the words to his sorrow. “Had.”
Sakura
Sakura’s shoulders slumped at the statement. How could one word be so chilling? Have so much control over someone? Jasper stood in front of her, dark, brooding, his entire demeanour changed. Gone was her old friend, and instead was this shadow. A shell. Empty, lost, confused. “Oh, Jasper, I’m so sorry…”
Jasper
Jasper closed his eyes, steadying himself. Her face rose up in his memory. Bright, vivid, like she was standing in front of him. Misrae. His heart skipped a beat, lurching painfully within his chest. If there were any words he could say to bring her back, he would shout them from the treetops. Any action, any thing. He would do it without another thought. But no. There was nothing. She was gone. Lost. Forever. He sighed, and slowly her image faded. For a moment, he was sure he could smell her scent – so sweet and delicate, but that too faded. “My lifemate, Misrae.” His voice was soft, his eyes a million miles away. “We’d been together for a while. I met her shortly after we moved. That feels like a lifetime ago now…” He chuckled, but his tone held no humour. It was empty, lost in the memories. “She was… radiant. Perfection. You couldn’t meet her and not fall in love with her. She was brave, and loyal, and caring. And for some insane reason, she was as crazy about me as I was about her.”
Sakura
His pain was so raw, so agonising, it brought a tear to Sakura’s eye. Here they were, reunited after so many years under the least likely of circumstances, and both with so much lost. She reached out and gently rested her forehead against his neck, feeling his warmth contrasting with the chilly air around them, trying to send what strength she could to him.
Jasper
Jasper felt Sakura lean into him. At first, he bristled, every muscle stiffening. He was unused to physical contact. No one had consoled him since… since.. Misrae… But her presence was soft. Comforting. Sympathetic, but encouraging. He relaxed, and turned his head to gently rest against her – the closest thing two horses could get to a hug. He felt the pain of his memories rush up, threaten to overwhelm. A knot rose in his throat, but he resolutely held it at bay. It died slowly. He took a shaky breath. “It was the fire. The one that swept through the lands. Torched everything. Hard to imagine that happened, as cold and frozen as the land is now, eh? We were caught in the blaze. Trying to run. It happened so fast.” His voice tapered off for a moment… Ghostly flames danced through his eyes. Like he was there. All over again. “I have… certain gifts. I know what the safest route is, the best way to reach a safe spot. Sanctuary. She trusted me. I was guiding her. But the fire was so out of control, every path was risky. Nothing was safe. We were running and suddenly… There was a loud crack. A huge tree toppled over. All of it ablaze. It hit her, Sakura. She was gone. I searched and searched for her until the flames were too great. I had no choice. I had to leave her. I couldn’t even find her body. Just… gone.” His voice was almost a whisper. “We were going to have children… We wanted to start trying…”
Sakura
Sakura could put no words to his sorrow. What was it like to lose a mate? Like losing her father? No, surely it must be worse. Like losing the ground beneath your feet. Like losing the reason for your existence. Like losing a part of yourself you can never grow back. She had never loved anyone so deeply, so thoroughly, that they became a part of her in that way. “I remember the fire, I barely escaped with my life. I can’t imagine…” She knew no words could comfort him, but she leaned harder against his flank, letting her know that she was here with him. The wind continued its low howl outside, an icy white storm that would not abate.
Jasper
For a moment more, Jasper held on to the image of Misrae, permitting himself to feel the pain of her loss all over again. But dwelling on what was done and past wouldn’t help him, would bring him nothing but more misery and pain. “Well. We can’t control the word around us. Bad things happen, inexplicably, to good people. Such is the way of the world. Maybe the spirits have a bigger plan for us all, or maybe they’re just powerless in the face of it all. But what we can do?” He cleared his throat, letting his mate’s visage fade from before him once more. “The only thing that we can do – is hold on and do our best. Cling to what we have that matters through it all. No?” His voice broke, but he buckled down his frame, refusing to let the grief consume him this time.
Sakura
Sakura thought back to everything she had let go. Her children, her family, her home. Hold on, he said. Hold on to what? The clinging remnants of her father’s shadow? Is that what she had sacrificed everything for? And yet another voice within her nagged at her, refusing to let her doubt. Yes, hold on, to finding the truth, to knowing that her father was alive out there, he had to be. “Yes, yes you’re right.”
Jasper
Jasper’s gaze shifted to look back at the white blizzard outside. “… Just a couple of old fools, getting all sentimental in here now, aren’t we?”
Sakura
A soft chuckle escaped her. Yes, she supposed they were. She nestled down deeper, stifling a yawn as the two old friends slowly lapsed into a comfortable, yet heavy, silence, ready to wait out the rest of the storm. Together. |
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