[Solo] After (Vadoma)

[Yayoi]

 

[Yayoi]

. The day before felt like it happened years ago. A distant feeling crept into Vadoma’s essence and latched on tight. She had woken up rather late the next night and didn’t move from her bed for quite a while. Laying there she stares blankly from her bed at nothing in particular. Her entire body felt heavy, like even if she wanted to she couldn’t lift her head or her limbs. Couldn’t even coax her body into a sitting position.

Her mind drifted through the previous day’s happenings and it all tugged at her heart. That connection that Lilith had shown her burned in her chest. It wasn’t broken, just frayed. But how was she supposed to fix it? Could it be fixed? Should it? Maybe….maybe she had rushed into this too quickly. She had pushed Rares too fast, but she couldn’t help herself. The moment she had seen him, there was an instant connection that drew her in. She couldn’t have fought it even if she tried her hardest. There was just something about him….something that she just couldn’t deny.

Finally she had managed to sit up in bed. Red eyes slipped to her bedside table and the top drawer. Leaning forward she opened the drawer and pulled out an old velvety bag, settling it onto the bed in front of her. It was the bag she had chosen as an infant when her Papa’a had taken her and Kieran to see Lillian and attend the Patshiv. She stared at it briefly before she began to untie the string that held it closed, turning it over to spill the contents of the bag out onto her bed.

What came out was a tarot card and a gold ring with a blood red stone embedded in it. Picking up the ring she eyed it carefully. It had a lovely design that was for sure. Gold vines wrapped around the red stone, cradling it almost lovingly. “Pretty….” It was too nice to wear so she would store it away somewhere to keep it safe.

Lifting the tarot card her eyes widened just a little. “The Tower..”. Vadoma had dabbled a bit in tarot, she knew what the cards meant at least but she didn’t do a lot of readings. The tower meant chaos, destruction, massive change. What change? Was it her feelings for Rares that would change? Or his for her?it was hard not knowing and seeing this card. It could mean good change or it could mean bad change. It was hard to determine. The only way she would know would be to let her fate play out.

But that was hard. Not knowing what to expect coming around a corner like that.

Lilith said she would see him again soon, but when was it soon? Vadoma laid the tarot card down and flipped it over so that she was staring at its backing now. Where was he? Was he ok? There were so many unanswered questions that she just felt overwhelmed. She just wanted everything to go back to the way it had been. Vadoma had been so happy and now she just felt miserable.

The need to see him again is so strong but what would she say to him? Hey you tried to kill me but that’s ok because I still love you? She didn’t think that would work. Vadoma just wanted to know why. Why was her word not good enough? Why did he not trust her enough? Vadoma had felt like they had shared so much and now all of that was a shattered mess on the floor, where her heart had been this whole time.

She had been lucky her tendrils had gone into action to protect her at least. Letting them appear now that she was in the temple, Vadoma hid them whenever she went out into the world but right now they were comforting. Each one petting her and wrapping around her limbs as if to hug her. At least she could rely on them.

Gathering the tarot card and ring she slipped them back into the bag and set the bag back in the drawer of her night stand. Moving to the edge of her bed she let her feet dangle an inch or so above the floor, staring at her toes.

She wanted to talk to someone but who? Her Papa’s were gone, Kieran wasn’t here either. So it was just her.

Alone. Vadoma hated being alone more than anything. She was too used to always having someone around so the silence of the empty living quarters was almost deafening. A high pitched noise seemed to over take the silence on not for a brief moment.

Vadoma felt tired again. As if she could lay down and sleep for a few centuries but that wasn’t the answer here. Sleeping your problems away was not the answer obviously.

Letting her feet finally touch the cold, stone floor she moved to her window. Throwing back the darkened curtains and pushing the glass open so that fresh air could flow inside her room. She had no worries about the sun as the shield around the temple blocked it out. Her Papa made sure they were all safe.

Gazing out at the temple grounds she sighed. Letting her arms stick out of the window as she leaned her upper body against the window pane. “Rares, where are you….?” The question was nothing more than a whisper in the wind. Crimson eyes lidding halfway to stare across the grounds with disinterest.