[Better Than You] vs DJ Killa Kyle (Hollywood Backlot Brawl)

[Vic Venom]

"WHAT THE ********!!! Really?! Are we really doing this?!!"

DJ Killa Kyle's head slams right through the window cracking the glass, a gash opening up across his forehead as his hands grip against the side of the door. His head poking straight through the other side, bits of glass fall into the passenger as the supreme ruler of the UFC Dana White is rudely awakened after having dozed off peacefully counting the dollars saved by letting Frances Ngannou walk. The Tik Tokers legs dangle from the side of the door as the sleep drunk White shifts gears, slamming his foot on the pedal and speeding across the lot! Kyle hangs precariously from the SRT as Rodgers distracted fans scream in terror narrowly escaping the path of the speeding muscle car.  

[HiroShinMozas]

Just like that, we were quite literally off to the races. BTY.'s attack on Killa Kyle did way more damage than anticipated, sending him practically through the window of the car! Dana White, the owner and operator of the successful Power Slap league, speed off without hitting someone somehow, and leaves the backlot promptly, putting the whole match into question. Better Than You. was forced to stand there in disbelief, not sure exactly what he should do. He looked around, trying to formulate a plan, and that's when he got it: Aaron Rodgers' El Camino. The Canadian ran through the crowd, leaping over the door and into the drivers seat. He quickly turned the car on, much to the fear of scattering fans, but shockingly enough no reaction to Aaron Rodgers. The QB had served his purpose and was now free to lick all the drugs and vomit off the ground that he wanted, grazing like some sort of beautiful Gisele Bündchen in the savanna. Better Than You. shoved that s**t out of park and took off after his opponent and his buddy, top down with both hands on the wheel he was in the highway. That's right Freakshow I stole the ******** line before you could use it, ******** you, ******** you, ******** you

A helicopter with the Rumble logo on it would quickly maneuver the skies above, keeping both BTY. and DJ Killa Kyle in frame as their chase continued on Sunset Boulevard. The whole ordeal was being both broadcasted live on pay per view, but also LIVE on Rumble -- and nobody was cancelling this s**t, buster. Not a ******** chance, MAN. That's right, I said MAN. Just in case this match went on for ******** ever, at the very least, the rest of Wrestlemania could go on as planned while the match was streamed live to everyone with a phone, a pulse, and LOVE FOR AMERICA and HATE FOR CANCEL CULTURE.  

[Vic Venom]

Dragging himself through the window, panting heavily, DJ Killa Kyle tries to calm himself down in the passenger seat as Dana White whips through the busy highway. Obviously, high speed car chases can take a lot of time so it made perfect sense that the conclusion of this chase would occur, let's say, several matches later near the end of the show. Now that we have that out of the way, let's address the next piece of business: As Freakshow, peace be upon him, looked down from heaven he would be damned if he let someone who was relentlessly bullied for most of his roleplaying career big time him by hotshotting a spot he'd built up to for months. Completely organically, DJ Killa Kyle grips Dana by the shoulder pleading with him as he swerves on the road--

"Dana.... DANA... You've gotta slow down man.. YO!... You've GOT to.... Keep.... Both hands... On the wheel..... You're in the highway!!!"

Dana swerves hard to avoid an oncoming semi-truck and fortuitously hits a floating box with a question mark inside of it. On the radio interface, images of a Star, a Mushroom, A Red Shell, and other image start flashing in rapid succession.. "Dude... What the ******** is wrong with this CAR?!!" White screams, banging his meaty hand on the digital interface as finally the rolling images settle on a green shell and somehow a green turtle shell materializes on the lap of DJ Killa Kyle.

"HUH????!!!"

Grabbing onto the bright green shell, the Tik Toker gets an idea. Holding onto it, he steadies himself as he peaks his head out of the window. Although the SRT was know for its horsepower, in the nimble hands of Dana it was almost like a different beast. It was almost like he was in a Ferrari,or Jaguar, switching four lanes with the top down screaming out:

"MONEY AIN'T A THING!!!"

DJ Killa Kyle screams as he straightens up through the sun roof, the wind whipping through his hair. Leaning back, the shell steady in his hands, waiting for the El Camino to enter his field of vision. As soon as it does he lobs it hard at the pursuing vehicle, dropping back down quickly into the passenger seat plugging both of his ears huddling for safety..  

[HiroShinMozas]

Better Than You. floored the Gold and Green El Camino into running about 85 mph, keeping up with Dana White's skilled driving but not by much. This beautiful California highway, famous for it's safe driving and lack of any high-speed chases ever, was playing host to a full fledged Wrestlemania match right now and honestly, that's pretty cool man. What wasn't cool was the fact that suddenly DJ Killa Kyle came into the Canadian's view, and threw something from inside the car while screaming about money. BTY. was just barely able to swerve out of the way, but as if he were in some real Hollywood movie, it hit the car behind him and it instantly exploded. Better Than You. slowed down slightly as he reconsidered if this was at all reality, but he suddenly caught eye of a 1995 Toyota Supra Mark IV next to him keeping pace. He looked over at the driver of the car who casually threw a glowing star into BTY.'s El Camino. The radio suddenly lit up with a fast paced song as the Canadian screamed, scared out of his ******** mind, and started to slam into cars all around him sending them flying away completely unnaturally. His speed picked up as he drew closer to DJ Killa Kyle, but a sharp off ramp was taken by the UFC owner, causing BTY. to have to act quickly, hitting a makeshift ramp created by construction equipment. Better Than You. would fly through the sky, somehow slamming down on the road in front of DJ Killa Kyle and Dana White, taking the lead!

Meanwhile, a short way down the highway, d**k Dasterdly and Muttley are outside of their #00 Mean Machine setting up a trap.

"Listen up, Muttley -- this is diabolically simple! Those wacky LOSERS DJ Killa Kyle and Better Than You. are coming this way, and they can't be allowed to get back to Wrestlemania! So my plan is to place this sign right here that says "Victory Road"! They'll think that if they come down this way they're going to end up at the TNA pay-per-view and avoid it, but in reality this is the only road that leads to So-Fi Stadium! It's delightfully devilish, Muttley!"

d**k Dasterdly twiddles his moustache and Muttley snickers next to him, just as the two wrestler's chase begins to come their way! The terrible twosome would hide behind a cartoony looking rock and watch as the racers drew close!  

[Vic Venom]

"Dana...Look at the SIGN, Dana! We CAN'T go down THAT road!!!"

Dana, having shared networks with the product for years, couldn't possibly agree more. Swerving hard from behind BTY who was alone, they take the road less traveled. Laughing and high fiving as the duo seemingly lose their man on the other side of the separating barrier, they gasp in shock as within only a few moments the glowing, sparkling El Camino bursts through the wall! Asphalt and crumbling cement litter the road as the sped up music get a little slower, the rival automobile cruising down the street seemingly unphased. From a distance they can see a large dome in the distance resembling a stadium. Both cars race at full speed towards what was presumably So-Fi as civillians scream in terror.

Crashing through the security gates, the leading vehicle commandeered by BTY, alone, by himself hurtling across the crowded parking lot with Killa Kyle and Dana White in hot pursuit! On the last legs of vehicular invisibility, the music gets slower, and slower, a chopped and screwed version of the original song playing as the El Camino crashes through the gate of the convention center skidding across the floor of the lobby. Slamming on the breaks after passing through the hole created by the opposition, the music dies and the smoke starts to settle. Panting heavily, Dana rolls the windows down looking through the fog.

"Uhhhh... Kid.... I don't think this is So-Fi."

Indeed it wasn't So-Fi. It was the local convention center near So-Fi stadium. And it sure as hell wasn't Wrestlemania. Peering his head from out the window as well, DJ Killa Kyle rubs his eyes, his vision clearing up as he begins to see the forms of several familiar figures from his childhood. Lisa Ann. Brian Pumper. Mandingo. Riley Reid. Sasha Grey. James Deen. The list can go on and on. They were dressed formally. Some holding award plaques. Dana White's jaw drops to the floor, his eyes shooting out of his head and he honks his car horn enthusiastically. Startled by the sounding of the horn, the nearby Voro's Twins turn their heads in surprise, too wrapped up in their selfie to notice the carnage initially, they recognize their fellow Tik Toker in the wreckage.

"Is that... DJ KILLA KYLE?!!!"

 

[HiroShinMozas]

As the El Camino collided with a display of sex toys, finally it came to a complete stop in the middle of LA's HOTTEST spot -- the Adult Video News EXPO! Better Than You. leaned into the steering wheel, trying to make sure he was all good. He was surprised to not be ejected from the car considering he hadn't been wearing a seatbelt -- haha I guess that means they're bullshit after all, my dad was right to never wear one. Better Than You. would...wait a minute, what did he write?

DA VINKI

Swerving hard from behind BTY and Rodgers, they take the road less traveled.

But...Aaron Rodgers had been left behind to eat vomit and drugs, how was he...AHHHHH! Better Than You. screamed as he realized Aaron Rodgers, who wasn't there before, was suddenly sitting next to him in the passenger seat. He had a huge grin and got right out as if nothing happened, going to mingle with several pornstars. I guess they were playing Double Dash!! this whole time after all, you can't just have one guy in a car. Better Than You., assuming it was a little bit of left over drugs, would choose to actively ignore what just happened and pull himself out of the car and onto the show floor. He looked around, and was easily able to spot yet another car in a place where it didn't belong. He began to march his way over, but ended up running into the Voros twins who were going the same way.

"Hey, it's Better Than You., what are you doing here? Yeah, shouldn't you be at the Wrestlemania, having a match?!"

Better Than You. would push past both men, leaving them laughing as he approached the other stalled out car. He took hold of a standing sign on a metal base and lifted it up, driving the base into the windshield of the car to try and scare DJ Killa Kyle even further!  

[Vic Venom]

Meanwhile, in the most gentrified hood in Texas...

The Chinaman sits in his office chair, throwing darts at a map of the Southeast part of his motherland, directed at a specific island, an outpost of his motherland, we'll call it Chinese Taipei. Swiveling in his chair, the financial professional smirks as he logs onto Gaia Online. In this little world, he was King. Checking the most recent post in his match, he's lambasted by the betrayal of his so-called "friend." Having made a perfectly human mistake in his last post, instead of reaching out through a back channel to gently remind him of his continuity error, this little worm of a man thought he would make a spectacle of his mentor in his most vulnerable moment. A humiliation that was tripled in magnitude by the fact that it was delivered by a Japanese, triggering the latent ethno-narcisissim that lie deep in the heart of the Best Roleplayer in the History of Gaia Online E-Feds.

Slamming his fists into the ground table, he clicks on the edit button, deleting his mistake. You want to play games? After all I've done for you? Two can play at that game. Now he was the one that looked stupid. The scorned, arrogant man then composes a message:

((Hey man, I really hope everything is ok. I'm not sure why you included those passive aggressive messages in your last post. I didn't say anything about Rodgers being in the car with BTY, You were the one that had him in the Octagon, if you wanted for him to be in the car with your character you could've found a way to write him in, instead of gaslighting me acting like I put him there.

Go back and read my post, there is literally no mention of this at all. I don't mean to air it out like this in a public forum, but you started this and I really wish you had settled this man to man on Discord, or in a private message. It's just really disappointing that I would get this kind of attitude from you, especially when I was basically your only friend in this community for years. I guess that's my problem, I'm always the nice guy. This is the last time I'll warn you about this, Jake. I put up with a lot of stuff but I'm not going to let you slander me like this. I have a good, high paying job and I take the time out of my day to do this for you, not me. The least you could do is give me some basic respect. I hope we can put this behind us. There's already enough drama in this community.)

Discouraged by his writing partners pissy approach to things, he follows up with a low effort post:

Back at the AVN awards.

DJ Killa Kyle is startled by the attack, he urges Dana to speed ahead and he does but not before picking up the Voros Twins. Then the two drive towards the exit of the convention center towards So-Fi or whatever. ******** it. Who cares anymore.  

[HiroShinMozas]

((OOC: Wow, okay. I can't ******** believe you'd really do this, you KNOW full well that you wrote that Rodgers and BTY. were in the vehicle together. You went ******** autopilot, because that's your prerogative, and that's all you've ever been. You've fooled people for ******** EVER and I'm done with it, dude. Good luck finding anyone who will ever want to work with you again. You're lucky I respect Cartwright and the World Wrestling Federation Guild that I'm going to even bother to post more, but I swear if you god mode at all or do any s**t like that again, I will report you.))

A guy in New Jersey sat at his desk and angrily huffed and puffed as he typed away on his computer, waiting for his mommy to come home from the vet with his cat that was chewing on her paws too much and possibly had bad allergies. He was supposed to be image collecting and editing a video for his youtube channel, but decided a better use of his time would be to roleplay a professional wrestling match on gaiaonline.com instead of hunting for the original Jeff the Killer image or paying attention to the Yankees-Twins game on his television.

As his anger boiled over, the guy decided that instead of keeping the issue in a private, off of gaia platform like Discord, he would instead make a post in public to bring his issues to light. There was thankfully a social guild that existed so he could do such a thing, but due to the fact that he was not a crew member there, he instead went to the run-down and abandoned Wrestling RP Community guild and made a post lambasting a fellow member of the website. There, he could control the narrative by potentially deleting or editing other's posts, as well as being sure that no one would be around to go up against him since he was a crew member. Snickering, the guy would finish this post, and put it out for all to see, making sure to link it in one discord server, but not the other, and waiting for the drama to flow in like it was 2011.

However, back at the award show, Better Than You. had slammed the windshield and definitely destroyed part of it, but that wouldn't stop Dana White and the TikTok users from darting out of there in the car. This wasn't good, as BTY. had no vehicle to follow them with at this point. and would instead have to run out into the parking lot and search for some way to continue the chase and not lose this match by forfeit. He finally came across a parked bus that was moving, but it didn't seem like anyone was behind the wheel. He opened up the door and heard moaning and grunting, but assumed it was just the radio listening to some porn because adult film stars are weird. He turned the bus on, realized that made no sense, but ignored it and took off driving after his opponent.