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Sleep was impossible, another horrible dream of the past had forced him awake. Muscles tensed, heart racing and body damp with sweat. There tucked next to two of the sweetest creatures he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing. Akeldama could only feel the sickening tug of shame..of sorrow and then the tiniest undercurrent of anger. Anger at himself. Rising oh so carefully so as not to disturb anyone he made his way to the one place where he could think. A place he’d never let his loved one see. Behind him followed his ever present ‘shadow’. Jezebel trotted along dutifully, knowing exactly where they were headed; she could get there with her eyes closed.


The usual sorrow that came from setting a single hoof onto the place where his world his been irreparably changed..fled at the sight of holes. Such a simple thing sent Akeldama careening over the edge. A night of nightmares of the past had undoubtedly led the stallion here alongside Jezebel. The she wolf stepped back at the change in him..someone had disturbed the graves. Graves of the fallen from both sides were upended. As always she tried her best to brighten the brooding stallion “It’s alright..we can bury their bones again Akel. We could even put some flowers!” The once fierce warrior had softened considerably these last months but, the sight of rusted weapons unearthed..tinged with blood. Heaving a breath he angrily stomped one foot. “No! How could someone do this? How could any creature disturb a mass grave as if it is nothing?! Don’t you see? Others have…” They’d forgotten. Forgotten what had occurred..the ground no longer looked tinged with blood. As if the whole place had been rinsed clean. Ears flicking back Jezebel offered a faint smile..tinged in sadness “They have forgotten yes. When will you forgive yourself? When can we be forgiven for what we did? Should we carry it forever?” Tone somber she padded over to begin putting a few unburied bones right..tucking weapons here or there whilst he watched on. A well spring of agony had been opened and the ever loyal wolf listened as it broke free. Knife drawn he jabbed at a nearby tree..heart aching with each slash. It hurt. It hurt TOO much! “No one should forget..my brother’s still out there wreaking havoc unknown. Evil still lingers in the world even if out acts are forgotten or even forgiven!!” Chaos and evil always had a way of reappearing but, they weren’t part of it..so why did it still hurt like an infected wound. “I want to be good Jezebel but, how can anyone look at me and not see a monster? My name means bathed in blood for a reason..” Another stab at the tree gave him some relief..the pent up rage & pain slowly bleeding free. Instead of rage Akeldama felt empty..then he felt the first shameful flow of tears trickling out. Ever since he’d found love & tried to be better those damned things came out way easier.


Head nodding she thought a bit..letting him vent, not looking when the subtle scent of salt..tears..wafted through the air. “We can’t find them all to ask for forgiveness. We could try to fight for what is right but, we cannot try to eras e what has been done. Can’t you see that?” Even after a thousand washes Jezebel could still feel the blood of their supposed enemies. She was not innocent. Indeed the she wolf had loyally followed orders, followed him into battle. Head hanging low her paws worked to pat dirt back into place..nosing the grave lightly. A whispered apology followed her own tears. “We need to let it go! If you keep holding all of these emotions in like you used to then..then you’ll only hurt the ones you love!” Startled out of his silent weeping the stallion stepped away..venting all of this was an exhausting endeavor. So he took time helping bury those that had died so long ago. He worked until the lain had eased, until his heart felt a bit lighter. “We are not monsters Jeze…just two beings who made terrible mistakes. I promise to be more open about my emotions okay? I’m always here to listen; just as you are always here to listen to me.” Smiling through the tears he gave her a delicate nuzzle, laughing when she nipped him in return. “No more sulking. No more living in the past, tomorrow is a new day after all.”
WC 764