His white form stretched out in the warm winter sunlight, finding a good place to sun yourself in winter was rare and Farr enjoyed taking advantage of it whenever he had the chance.
Then again what else was one to do when your mother is more feline and you seem to have taken on those traits?
Wiggling his toes before lightly clawing at the hardened earth under his paws, he simply basked in the warmth.
He was hoping to catch his friend for a chat, a confession, thinking about it twisted his stomach in knots. Would she be disappointed? Would he finally have the balls to be honest with someone else and himself?
Here's to hoping! He thought with a flick of his fluffy tail.
WC:: 125
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Calistra enjoyed winter, it was the one time of year that felt the best to her, plus Fannar enjoyed rolling around in the snow and trying to cover her in it. They weren't always together, but the pair of them were thick as thieves when they were. Today they were visiting her friend Farr. He was an interesting fellow that one but a very good friend of his. She grinned at she saw him. If not for all the color on him, it might be hard to find him in the snow like it was when she went searching for Fannar.
"Farr!" She called out, breaking into a run towards him. She was so excited to see him and tell him about all the books she had been reading so far. She could devour that information very well and quickly too. "Its been too long my friend. Why do you look so antsy?" She questioned, nearing him.
WC: 157
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Hearing his name called startled the stallion, he scrambled to his paws before his brain registered the voice.
A smile spread across his face as his eyes fell onto the lovely mare, "Calistra! Always such a beautiful sight to see!" He greeted her, she had grown to be one of his dearest friends and he found her list for knowledge a beautiful trait.
"Antsy? Whatever do you mean?" He asked sheepishly, his tail rose to rub the back of his neck.
" Where is that little shadow of yours hmm?" He asked, trying to draw the attention away from himself, maybe it's be best to have such a conversation another time.
WC:: 110
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The female stared at Farr before rolling her eyes at him. "Yes yes, shower me with compliments while you try to distract me from whatever it is you want to say." She chuckled. "Maybe I should tell you about my dusty books that keep me company." She did have a lot of dusty old books that she had read. "Fannar? Somewhere."
Fannar, her shadow, was laying not too far from them having dug a nice hole for himself to snuggle down into while Calistra and Farr talked. He had poked his head up when he heard his name and gave a wave with his paw. "I'm here!"
"See. There is Fannar. Now." She came over and slightly bumped him with her body, "What is going on with you, spill."
WC: 129
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"You could much more than your books to keep you company, you know this. And hey my silver tongue only speaks the truth.." he turned to see the waving paw.
"There he is! I really hope to get myself a little partner one of these days.." he was a bit envious of the pairs bond, especially since he felt like a slight outsider with his father and brother.
At her bump he sighed, his ears twitching around awkwardly. "I think I'm a disappointment to my father and his ideals. I'm gay.." it blurted out faster than he had expected "And I am in love with only one and don't want to spread the love, like my father and brother.." the words just continued to flow, the dam finally breaking, finally feeling comfortable and safe with her to be himself.
"I've been lying to myself, to everyone important to me. I just...I can't disappoint my father and my brother can be a real a** sometimes." Finally it seemed his words slowed down, he took a deep breath and stared at her. " Um..." s**t what did he say now?
WC : 187
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Farr was right in that aspect. She had her small tiny circle of friends she kept up with but the books didn't always leave her feeling tired after the interactions, not that Farr ever tired her out that way he was a good friend, she just sometimes wanted that alone time. "Yeah I know. You know I just... I have trouble... sometimes. But we aren't here to talk about me. Or Fannar. We are here about you." She nudged him again. Dodging again.
"You are not a disappointment Farr." She started before he blurted out what he said, her eyes grew wide for just a moment before she gave a nod to him. "Oh!" She gasped and then pawed at the ground a little as she did just a tiny bit of an excited dance. "Now I can see why you are antsy. Farr, darling. You can do whatever you damn well please. You are your own pony and you only need to believe in you and be you. You can't please everyone, but you gotta be you. They will come around and if they don't, screw it! You're better."
Calistra was not a fighter by any means and though she would back her friend up with whatever decision he chose, Farr would know that she would fight her battle with books instead of hooves. Still, she was passionate about others being themselves. "I guess I had kind of figured. I just knew it wasn't my place to say anything. I still won't say anything until you let me know I can, but I don't think you'll disappoint anyone Farr."
WC: 270
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"You had an idea? Of course you did..beauty and brains is a helluva combo Calistra." He flopped onto his rump with a heavy sigh "Maybe I wasn't hiding it as well as I thought. Maybe I was hoping to get caught..but my father isn't going to understand. What I want goes against everything he's ever tried to teach me.." the stallions pointed ears flopped down as his whole demeanor seemed to sink into uncertainty.
He rubbed a paw down his face with a sigh, " Calistra I might have kids from trying to keep this farce going. I don't know what to do now, I really think I messed this all up. " His head hung further down before he shook it and let out a deep, long breath. " But it's also such a relief to finally tell someone and I'm glad its you honestly. I'm sorry I kept it from you.."
"Grymm is going to be a total a** about this, will probably only add fuel to his fire to follow in our father's paw prints.." Farr rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. " Sometimes I swear he needed hugged more as a foal.." his brother wasn't a horrible stallion but sometimes Farr was certain he was trying too hard to be just like their father and not his own stallion.
WC: 222
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The mare shook her head at her friend. "I think you were just able to show me a little bit more of your true self. I don't know if anyone else guessed Farr. But I really think you should tell them. I could even come with you if you needed me to. Fannar is far more scary than I am so maybe he could be like our background intimidation bear. Maybe we can break through tradition and show your father another option that is just for you." Calistra's head bobbing up an down at the thought of Fannar trying to look menacing in the background. Said bear was pretty cozy down in his little snow hole he had formed around himself.
Another shake of her head as she stamped her foot on the ground, "You did not mess up. We can figure this out. First step was telling me, letting that weight fall off your chest. Baby steps Farr, baby steps." She nudged him gently, a little reassurance that she was with him one hundred percent of the way.
"He probably will but I don't think hugs would have helped him." She dropped her head a little.
WC: 197
Total WC: 753
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Farr snorted at her comment about his brother "You're probably right about that.." he let out a half chuckle "Grymm isn't a bad guy but he can be a real a** sometimes."
He bumped her in return as he stood up and righted himself with his tail, he still has to be a dashing looking fella didn't he? Of course.
"Fannar the enforcer, I like it." His spirits were lifting, and that weight she had mention was easing from his shoulder and heart.
In the end, she was right and he knew it. Didn't make it any less of a worry but yet somehow it did. "Thank you Calistra, I don't know what I'd do without your support and friendship." He nosed her cheek lightly, she was truly a gem.
WC: 130
Total WC: 774