miscarriage

[quiet_redundancy]

It was around new years when i found out i was preg, and i told my bf of now almost 3 months and he got all worried and stuff because we are just 16 but at the end of jan. I had a miscarriage. I told my bf and he seemed to be ok with like it didnt bug him and at frist it didnt bug me either because i would be able to get my life back on track. Now that i think about it I miss it like i kinda wanted to keep it all along and didnt know it. Every since i have really thought about it ive been in a really depressed mood...... I have talk to my bf about it and he said that he wants childern with me but not now and that kinda makes me happy..... i just dont know what to do.... i wish i knew  

[Persistence_of_Memory]

Firstly, you're only 16. You and your boyfriend should take it slow.
And secondly, kids are for married people. You and your boyfriend have been together for three months. Who's to know whether or not you will actually stay together long enough to actually raise a child?  

[[.Ramen.]]

Alright, I disagree. Children are for people mature enough/capable enough to care for them, supply them with food, shelter, water, and care, etc.

There isn't a set age that makes you emotionally ready to have a child, nor does marriage effect it.

However, a child with fully grown, responsible, mature, providing, unseparated and faithful parents is likely to have a better upbringing, undeniably.


Anyway, Quiet_Redundancy, I'm sorry to say this, but the miscarriage has happened, and regretting it can't do much. Chances are, the miscarriage happened because you weren't physically healthy enough to support it growing, and you probably would have become incapable of caring for a baby if it ever made it out into the world, due to health complications.

One day in the future, you can (and you most likely will) have another child, and when you do, maybe that time you'll have a chance plan everything out so there is less stress and fewer risks. It is perfectly normal to become upset after a miscarriage, but you need to find a way to rebound and get back on your feet. You'll have a kid to call your own someday, maybe this way just not the time for it.  

[DarkJoker99]

[.Ramen.]

Alright, I disagree. Children are for people mature enough/capable enough to care for them, supply them with food, shelter, water, and care, etc.

There isn't a set age that makes you emotionally ready to have a child, nor does marriage effect it.

However, a child with fully grown, responsible, mature, providing, unseparated and faithful parents is likely to have a better upbringing, undeniably.

I totally agree with you. If you are not ready to have a child emotionally, phycially, or money wise, you shouldn't have one. I read somewhere that there is an increasing percentage that your first child might be a miscarage if you are under the age of 20. or something like that. As for you Quiet, I am sorry for your loss, but when you do have another child when you are older I hope, I grant you the best of luck, love for it a lot, and you will have a happy family.  

[Uniqe]

i don't know what thats like but at least your life will get back on the rails.

having kids is so much better when it's planned... if you aren't ready, it's not worth it. if you are having bad troubles with letting go of your child, talk to someone and get help... it may seem like a stupid idea but trust me, you will be so glad you did...

good luck to you and your bf, he sounds like a good guy.  

[Tarrien]

It's for the best you didn't have that child right now. Wait till you're out of high school at least, it'll make it a LOT easier on you in the long run. Our society has made most people in your age incapable of raising a child emotionally.

I can see why it'd hurt to lose the child though. It's like losing someone; even if you don't even know them it'd hurt to know you could've...  

[Nammu]

Your to young to have childrens. So not to sound harsh, but ur lucky that u had a miscarriage. Ur only 16, u were goin to have a baby in you for 9 months, I havnt been preagnet, but form friends and family, 25-30 of age, is not freking easy my friend, not at all. And taking care of them, another hole stury, hard as hell, coming from a voice of a baby sitter =P But now you can study, hav a normal and good relationship with ur b/f and have freking fun!!! Live Life!!! Oh and ps... Next time, use a condom =D