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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:14 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:52 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:55 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:39 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:24 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:23 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:56 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:01 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:23 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:18 pm
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I have been through exactly what you have been going through. I find myself unattractive, I am clumsy, and my intelligence can certainly be argued.
However, what you need is cognitive therapy. Let me add that I am not a doctor, but I have had therapy for this kind of thing. If you'd rather not take my own advice on how to do this, a therapist or counselor can explain it better.
When you look in the mirror and begin thinking negatively of yourself, say out loud, "Stop." The word immediately tells your brain to stop whatever it is you're doing at the moment (meaning you shouldn't be doing anything else while you're looking in the mirror).
Then, think, "I am not stupid," or "I am not ugly." It will be almost impossible. I know. But try it every day. At first you probably won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror when you start thinking this way.
But if you do it over and over again, it will eventually start to stick. I have done cognitive therapy for over a year, and I still do not have full self-confidence. But I do know that I am not the scum of the earth, that I am fairly attractive, and that if I was an idiot, I would not be able to help people such as yourself. 3nodding
The reason this works is because both the conscious and subconscious are like glasses of water: if you drop enough food coloring in there, it will eventually change color. heart
Please PM me anytime you need help, okay?
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:16 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 10:17 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:26 pm
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Nariko914 I have been through exactly what you have been going through. I find myself unattractive, I am clumsy, and my intelligence can certainly be argued.
However, what you need is cognitive therapy. Let me add that I am not a doctor, but I have had therapy for this kind of thing. If you'd rather not take my own advice on how to do this, a therapist or counselor can explain it better.
When you look in the mirror and begin thinking negatively of yourself, say out loud, "Stop." The word immediately tells your brain to stop whatever it is you're doing at the moment (meaning you shouldn't be doing anything else while you're looking in the mirror).
Then, think, "I am not stupid," or "I am not ugly." It will be almost impossible. I know. But try it every day. At first you probably won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror when you start thinking this way.
But if you do it over and over again, it will eventually start to stick. I have done cognitive therapy for over a year, and I still do not have full self-confidence. But I do know that I am not the scum of the earth, that I am fairly attractive, and that if I was an idiot, I would not be able to help people such as yourself. 3nodding
The reason this works is because both the conscious and subconscious are like glasses of water: if you drop enough food coloring in there, it will eventually change color. heart
Please PM me anytime you need help, okay?
There isn't much point to my posting except to quote this comment so that it shows up in this thread more than once. I think this is very very good advice. And I know the idea of therapy is daunting and one may think that it just "proves I'm crazy" but CBT is very useful and helpful!
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:47 am
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I recommend Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge (It will probably be in the religious section of the bookstore, or in the library) Amazon.com Listing
It's not a self-help book, it's a book on why girls are the way we are. It's not "Sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of" either. The book is a spiritual look at who we were made to be, and what we do that makes us feel inadequate. I'm not saying this is a life-changing thing, and I know you might be tired of reading "You're worth it!" books, but this isn't one of those. I just recommend looking into it, and seeing what you think.
Everything else I could possibly say has already been said. The change won't come about from me telling you things, but I hope things get better for you. I would try any and all of the things recommended, I get like that sometimes, too.
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