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Reply "ALI" Advice for Life Issues
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Sprockette

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:36 pm
You guys have probab;y heard this story about a million times but Idk,my heart is just mixed up and scared.
My friends call me a wuss cause I never ask a guy I like out.Well because Im scared,it always seems that Im either not pretty enough or cool enough or im too weird or some excuse.
*Sigh* well I guess I sound better if I write things down,so I wrote th guy I like a note tomarrow he's going to read it...and I have a bad feeling. *Sigh* Im just feeling sorry for myself...yes it's stupid but eh...I speak the truth.  
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:51 pm
Hey, don't be so down upon yourself! Confidence really does make a difference in beauty, inner and outer.

But If you never asked a guy out (least from the wording you choose*)- how would you know that you're not good enough etc... There's a lot people with different tastes out there... Think about all the variety of people there are married out there...

Sure it's nerve wracking but usually the worst thing a guy could say is "Sorry, I don't feel the same way"- Sure there's the occasional jerk, but it'll just prepare you for jerky people later on.... When you do tell someone you your really really like them, it sorta feels good, even if they don't always say they like you back. It's like a huge load off your shoulders.

Good luck
 

Tarrien

Feral Mystic

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Calypsophia

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:16 pm
Fenera is right. what truly makes someone attractive is their confidence. confidence can make a so-so person hot, and a hot person a god/dess in anyones eyes. just so long as they're not trying to be something they're not.  
PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:35 pm
thank you guys!
it's a lot of the guys I try to ask out are really mean to me and that's why I feel the way I do.
I also try to be hard on myself so don't think im the prettiest thing ever and what not.
I appreciate the advice.
(A lot of my friends feel sorry for me sweatdrop but it's not the biggest deal..I guess it's just jealousy of my friends who're happy and not single)  

Sprockette


Sotur

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:40 pm
are u saying u put urself down so u won't think u r the prettiest, as in u don't want to seem obnoxious, stuck-up, etc.? bcs if it's that, u don't have to be any of those simply bcs u feel good about urself. u can think u r pretty, as well as recognize not the prettiest, and not put urself down over it.

and why would ur friends feel sorry for u? is it just bcs u r single? bcs u have not been asked out? or what? if it is bcs u haven't been asked out, then that's just stupid. not once was i asked out in highschool and that wasn't a big deal. i won't deny i wold have liked the approach, the attention. HOWEVER, it's not a big deal at all. so they really shouldn't feel sorry for ya just bcs of that.  
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:25 pm
They feel sorry for me because when I go to ask out a guy they're like "Oh you're hopless,you won't find one" Honestly Im in a pretty good mood today because my crush talked to me and we're really good friends as well. He's the nicest guy ever! But I still want to keep the friendship we have.....so Im kinda just,waiting for the right moment to be brave.lol
The thing is,I try to be humble because I know some people are better endowed with beauty and things....but those aren't the important things in life.  

Sprockette


Sotur

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:56 pm
while that is completely true, comparison is really completely unnecessary. as i said before, u can recognize there's better out there, and still feel good about urself. being humble and putting urself down are 2 very, VERY different things. feeling good about urself in no way involves "bragging" [as in, telling/commenting] to someone how u feel about urself.

glad to hear u guys are talking and being friends and all. do keep in mind that the right moment doesn't mean "never" [just in case, some ppl "have that misconception blaugh ].

why would they say that? friends are supposed to "help u up", tell u it's gonna be ok [NOT PEACHY! but eventually ok] and stuff... does it now bother u that it seems they don't believe in u? [NOTE: i don't know the situation, so i'm just asking things and all. if anywhere along i say/assume something that isn't true, i apologize for it; just let me know of it, if that's what u want i mean, and then i can take it into consideration].  
PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:16 pm
That's alright! ^_^
It bothers me that everyone thinks they can play match maker for me...or make me sound like a whore.
*Sigh* but I think head over heals for a guy I've known from camp.We're really goodfriends to begin with...I don't wanna ruin the friendship and making him feel awkward around me.
Some people think Im a b***h and I try not to be. So putting myself down makes everyone feel better and things...because I don't wanna hurt anyone (I have too big of heart I guess) and it sometimes gets in the way...*sigh* bother some yes...sorry if it's the same ol' thing  

Sprockette


Sotur

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:37 am
anyone could/would be bothered if someone tried to pair them up, even more if they made u feel like a whore.

saying u don't wanna make him feel uncomfortable gives me the impression that u feel he doesn't [perhaps in the least] the same way about u....which is common [the not wanting to make him feel awkward, i mean]. u could always ask him random questions to have a feel at what's going on in his mind, what his position on that is.

a b***h in what sense? what have u done or said that they think u r a b***h? if it bothers u, u need to think a little bit more about urself and how it makes u feel. i'm not saying become the b***h they think u r by being selfish or anything. i'm saying u need to think about how it's affectng u. not hurting others isn't exactly a good thing if u hurt urself in the process. thinking about others, not wanting to hurt them doesn't mean disregard evrything else; in fact, u can try and please others, but u need to keep in mind that there will always be some1 who doesn't exasctly sympathize with u. after all, u r not a 100 dollar-bill to be loved by evryone. none of us is. so if u r gonna try and please others, make sure it's ppl who REALLY matter  
PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:43 pm
that helps a lot actually.

BTW:what kind of questions to ask him? so that way I don't seem offensive or make it deathly obvious that I like him  

Sprockette


Sotur

PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:12 am
hey, sorry i took so long, had a horrible week at college.

glad that helped, that's the whole point afterall ^_^

ok, the questions and the way u ask them will depend on ur personality and the way u r towards him. u can ask him anything and as long as u do it casually [and have a few excuses to back u up in case he tries to catch u off-guard by asking "why do u ask?" or something like that]. example: i like asking random questions, i even call it my "random questions session". i've asked from the typical "what do u think of ___(insert name)____" to...well...weird questions, to say the least. my point being, u can build the background on the question like something completely normal, and then ask it, but in a different context. something like "what do u like in a girl" and such. or pick a random girl and ask him what he thinks about her. understand?  
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 12:30 pm
Sorry about your week at college hope it gets better!

That helps,sometimes I just "go in for the kill" so to speak b/c I get so nervous and don't know what else to do b/c my mind just goes blank. lol,but I understand what you're saying.
Descreit questions. yes, and know to do so! heh heh sweatdrop  

Sprockette


Sotur

PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 2:49 pm
always glad to help. if anything else, just lemme know. i'll try to be as helpful as possible whee  
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 4:40 am
No prob!
When it comes to relationships and such (for myself at least) I am not quite great at it heh heh sweatdrop ninja  

Sprockette



YourAzureGoddess


Naughty Pants

PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:59 pm
Honestly, do what you think feels comfortable - people are more attractive and open when they feel comfortable. Don;t let anyone tell you that you're doing something wrong. I knew girls who were comfortable asking guys out at 15, and I knew girls who didn't feel honestly comfortable talking to them until they were in thier 20's.

It's not "boys have cooties" (or girls have cooties for that matter) It's that some people take longer to understand who they are.

Like yourself. Be comfortable. The rest will fall into place  
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"ALI" Advice for Life Issues

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