Relationship Help is needed...

[Ombrophobia]

I know its a long post, please bear with me. I love my boyfriend. I know he loves me too. He gave me a diamond bracelet for our one year anniversary last month. He isn't Christian, but I love him anyways.

He's a little clingy though... And he has mood swings like a mother. Like one minute he'll b all cuddly with me (which I love when he's like that.) and the next he'll just want to be away from me. I mean, he has mood swings worse than me when I'm on my period... He won't kiss me in front of my dad or brother (which is understandable) but he doesn't mind making out when we're at church (my mom works at our church and we hang out there sometimes) I mean, he wanted me to blow him in one of the class rooms...

I love him, don't get me wrong. He was my fist real boyfriend (My first technical boyfriend dumped me a week later for a guy... Other than that, I've only been with a few girls...) I gave him my virginity, and we've been together just over a year. (I know it's not that long, but we met in 6th grade, and are now in 10th)

But I'm still attracted to other people... I can barely hold a conversation with him without thinking about another guy I know, or my friend that I talked to a while ago... Like I'm not attracted to him in any sense of the word anymore... But I still love him... I know, it's weird...

I appreciate advice... Can someone help me figure out what to do, Onegaishimasu?*

Onegaishimasu means 'for a favor' in Japanese

 

[Anabethe]

seems to me like both of you need to have a serious conversation. about him opening up more to you. if you guys have been going out for this long you should be able to communicate to one another and share your feelings. without communication it wont work too well, because it will just get boring. if you have other boys in your mind maybe you guys should give each other space. you are still young and can experiment with other people and see how it goes. i wish you luck^_^  

[Ombrophobia]

Thanks... I appreciate your advice...

I have tried talking to him but he never seems to want to talk to me when ever I do... It's gotten really weird between us too, I mean I went over to his house the other day, and we were sitting on his bed, making out, and usually that means he wants sex, so I started to take my shirt off and he freaked out, like 'We can't just make out? All you ever want to do is have sex!' Like he was really yelling at me, and ragging on me, and he made me cry, and he didn't even care.... Thats so not like him... I guess he's just changed a lot...

You know, I'm not a slut, I just love my boyfriend, and I want to make him happy...

 

[daggblu4]

you have to set yourselves aside for a moment. think what you want..you sorta need to talk to yourself for that.. sweatdrop lol. seems like even after a year, you guys haven't set a basis for why you're together. like, be able to sit down and have a heart to heart pow-wow. 3nodding honestly, though, ..first and foremost...establish your own feelings. it'll take time. that's why you're still thinking of others..maybe you love him..but not inlove w/ him. being w/ someone you care about and still fantasize about others is actually normal. but you reach a point of comfort w/in your relationship that you no longer need to feel that excitement w/ someone else. this has no time limit, duration, attainment..it just happens and it happens to those most secure about each other and content. that's why you need to figure yourself out first. then talk to him.  

[Ombrophobia]

This makes sense to me. Thanks...

 

[Guardian1239]

You're awfully young to be dating or having sex. That stuff makes life so complicated. You should be concentrating on your career, not someone else. However, since I feel I cannot persuade you otherwise, I will offer my advice and opinion.

If he's acting strange, it might be because he's having the same issues as you with thinking of other people. There is a difference between love and lust, and you have to understand this. First, you have to see if you truly love him and ask him if he truly loves you. You're young, so everything will be a little confusing. If you truly love each other, you will work through it. If he is unwilling to work on it, then he does not love you.

I hate to be harsh, but that's what I think.  

[simsboarder]

I must say I agree with guardian, you need to decide for your self whether you love him or not, then find out if he loves you, or just lusts after you, that is the most important part of a relationship.