Losing a Friend...

[DvnT]

[[[sorry, sweatdrop long post...]]]

okay, ive written about jadi-chan in ali before. she was the 'copy-cat' friend i have recieved a few notes about. if you dont know, she is my bffeaetddwp [best friend for ever and ever till death do we part. dont ask...]. anyway. this time, i think im the one who needs help, not her?

let me explain a couple of things first:
1:in minnesota, if your over 12 years old, you can choose 1 out of 2/3 choices:
choice1: live with a foster parent in a foster home.
choice2 [[married couple as parents]]:live with parents.
choice3: choose who you want to live with : mom or dad.

2: jadi-chan has an overbearing step-dad, and a 'party-lets-get-drunk' family that she currently lives with. they treat her humanly, but thats about it.

currently, jadi-chan is living with her mother only 2 houses away from me. she is my other half. she knows more about me then i do, and vica-versa. we dont do anything without the other knowing within 12 hours of the other knowing. nothing.

now she wants to move in with her father. almost 2 1/2 hours away. i dont like this for a few reasons:

1:she is my other half. shes the only one in school who actually started to talk to me. she was my first real friend i made scince i was in diapers.

2: no offence jadi-chan if your reading this, but your dads not the best man in the world... hes always in and out of jail, he's an alcholic trieng to recover, but cant, he doesnt have a set home, and some really bad memories of hers come from times when he was with them.

i dont want to her go, but i do, too. i do because shell be happy, even just for a little while. but how can i live with out me? who can i talk to that will do what she does for me? only bitty-chan actually understands whats going on when i talk to her about the rough stuff, but jadi-chan understands every little thing. everything. from boys to sui'y. she knows. and now she's moving...

what do i do? i want to to be happy. i want her out of the jurisdiction of that step-dad. but i know whats happend in the past with him. and i want my friend.

has this happened to anyone else? gonk gonk crying crying
what do i do??? crying crying gonk gonk  

[niqi_mo]

ok , this has happened to me in two cases ..
1) hasnt happened yet but will in about 6 years (it sounds like a long time, its not), my bff is engaged (but she 13) and is getting married around 19 or so, and shell probably move to texas
2) he didnt move away but he has been tottally ripped away from me , and is hangin out wit ppl who dispise me, and they wont let him talk to me... i got split into thirds when my dna got dished out...
but the only upside to situation 2 is that he also left his best friend behind , so i got to know him and he got to know me and now hes like 2/3 of my 3rd thats missing
so try to get close to someone else who understands blaugh blaugh  

[Calypsophia]

why does she want to move in with her dad, especially if he's like that? on one hand I wanna say that life is change and just about everyone has found themselves having to be separated from good friends they've had for a long time. in my childhood it's happened more than once.

on the other hand, I dont understand why she wants to make that move. if he's in and out of jail, an alcoholic, etc.. then that's a horrible environment to move into. there *has* to be something going on at her house with her mom that's driving her to want to do this. even if it's something as menial as her mom not letting her do something.  

[dontnowat2donow]

[[this is the friend that wants to move]] when i am with my dad he dosent drink or get into trouble or any thing like that but i dont want to move away from my frnds but i have some in my dads area and i am the other half of devan so i dont know wat to do crying crying crying crying crying crying

ps
there was a new invention so we can still talk a phone

jk heart sad heart heart  

[DvnT]

calypsophia,

the only real thing going on at her house is her step-dad. he picks favriots, and jadi-chan isnt one of them. he loves the youngest [[her sister 'panda-bear']] and his kids. and her real daddy isnt the only alcholic, her whole family is. other then that, i dont really get it. she says she loves her dad with all her heart, and no one can ever change that, but then she'll talk about heart-breaking things that have happened with him........ i cant give out any stories, but i can give out generals: her dad got into a fight with his friend to protect them. thats the one story she always comes back to when someone asks why she loves him.

[[[i really feel like im betraying our friendship telling people these things stressed ]]]  

[shani26]

dontnowat2donow, I think you should try to figure out enother solution. How about talking with a social worker and ask her to find you a house with forster home?
It doesn't mean you like your father or mother less. It just means you want to take care of yourself by working towerds your goal, like study in school get good grades ets or even eat good food and not junk food.
You can still talk to your mom and dad via the phone or the internet, or even meet them from time to time.  

[dontnowat2donow]

[[sorry realy long redface redface redface redface sweatdrop ]]


i want to move with mt dad becouse i love him and i can help him and he has the other half of my family and yes he is a alcohalic but he went to rehab and the one time he got into a fight was to protect us crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying

[[here is the hole story]]
me and my sister and my dad were at his frnds house and his frnds roomie came in and he had just had meth and was drunk he sterted to come twards my sister and dad got up and punched him then the fight started and i was 7 and panda bear [[my sister]] was 5 and than brad [[my dads frnd ]] got in the fight and started to punch mike[[brads roomie]] and there was alot alot of blood so then i called tho police and mike got taken to jail


so that is why i always say that story

[[ps mike died of drunk driving 2 years later and didint have a seatbelt on]]  

[DvnT]

[[kinda crude humor, but i think ali needs some humor going around, lift everyones spirits here...]] maybe mike deserved it?  

[Calypsophia]

what does your mother say about the favoritism going on with your step-father?  

[dontnowat2donow]

my mom dosent give a damn about it crying crying crying crying  

[Anabethe]

I had a friend that went away for college. i miss her so much, but i had to let her go because its not my decision, in the end its hers. Although i don't find it safe...just try to keep in contact with her. just because she moves away doesn't mean that you guys won't be best friends anymore.  

[shani26]

How do you know she doesn't care? Did you really try to talk to her, when you two are alone together? eek  

[DvnT]

shani26

How do you know she doesn't care? Did you really try to talk to her, when you two are alone together? eek

i dont want to make her think she has to stay. she loves us [[as in me, bitty-chan, samy-chan, lexie-chan, ect.]] all dearly, but she wants to live with her daddy. and she wont hear a word against him. if you try to convince her that he isnt a perfectly good man, she stops listening. i know he means the world to her, and he tries his absolute best, but i dont think thats a good thing for her. i even told my mom, and she said that her dad should probably not get custody....now im stuck....  

[Calypsophia]

dvn -camilla price-

shani26

How do you know she doesn't care? Did you really try to talk to her, when you two are alone together? eek

i dont want to make her think she has to stay. she loves us [[as in me, bitty-chan, samy-chan, lexie-chan, ect.]] all dearly, but she wants to live with her daddy. and she wont hear a word against him. if you try to convince her that he isnt a perfectly good man, she stops listening. i know he means the world to her, and he tries his absolute best, but i dont think thats a good thing for her. i even told my mom, and she said that her dad should probably not get custody....now im stuck....

here's the thing... a court would have to award him legal custody. it cant just be given to him. and if he's got a record (having been in and out of jail) and is an alcoholic, then I dont see that happening... regardless of what she wants. it would take lawyers (which means $$$) and the ability for him to convince a judge he's fit to be her guardian.  

[shani26]

Calypsophia, she is grown up. She can go where ever she wants, if her mother wont do anything no one will notice.