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| No |
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| Total Votes : 4 |
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 Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 2:56 pm
I just started poetry recentally. I'm 14 and think people say I'm okay what do you think?
To much pain
I'm drowing in sorrow
No hope for my future
Don't wait up for tomorrow
Everything good gets taken away
So I close my heart to keep the hurt away
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No more nebbing to reassure me at night
No one to tell me wrong from right
No one to catch me when I'm up to know good
How to replace her,
no one could
Dedicated to Patrica Moore
1937-2007
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I walk the halls and there she is as bright as day
I turn and almost run away
I don't need to hear what she has to say
She's the girl who steals him away
At the slightest mention she needs his attention
What about me?
Where do I stand?
Will we ever be together or our you hers forever?
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Who am I?
The real me?
Not the mask I put on,
the person I pretend to be
The one while I'm alone
by myself
finally free
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She walks down the halls aimlessly
Just listing to the sounds, the yells, the bells, the noise
Just following, following, following
Pushes and shoves here and there but she doesn't care
She's just following, following, following
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:31 am
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:44 pm
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 6:17 pm
i love your poems, but the mask one and a few lines form others arent as original as they could be, but good work
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:17 am
As much as I am into free style...
I would like to suggest you to make poetry with a double meaning
Somewhat like, extensialsm...
The kind that makes you want to think long and hard...
This may not be a poetry book that I would suggest you to read...
You'll understand what I'm saying if you read...
"Jonathan Livingston Seagull" or "By the river Piedra I sat down & wept"
Your choice of words is still primary, for me...
Good rhythm, and great interpretation is what i can say to...
that's all..
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