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Alright, this is going to be pretty long so bear with me.
I have a huge problem with constantly being treated like a child or a person at all by my family. Anything I’ve ever tried to do has never worked, and I seriously need some advice.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always had the problem of being treated like I was dumb. Everything was always dumbed-down for me by my parents, like I needed it. There is, of course, no problem with my intelligence, nor is there a problem with my grasp on, well, anything really. I’ve always just been treated like I was stupid. Until I started exhibiting “exceptional intelligence” or some crud that the teachers told my parents, and suddenly I was expected to be perfect at everything. If I wasn’t perfect I got yelled at and screamed at and mocked, basically treated like the lowest form of scum. So, growing up, I aimed low and didn’t bother trying at anything anymore, because I was going to get yelled at one way or the other (Also, something I might want to mention is that none of this started until my stepfather showed up as well). I’ve always been treated like someone with a below-average IQ, and even though my parents don’t know anything about me, they presume to know how intelligent I am just by my behavior and home life.
And they love tell everyone that they know what they THINK I’m like. So when I’m meeting people for the first time, they’ll already “know” what I’m like. Which is a little unfair in my opinion. My parentals and I exchange less than a sentence per week and have done so, roughly, for the past five years. I don’t think there’s much you can find out about a person like that. My mother doesn’t even remember my own birthday, so she can hardly assume that she knows what I’m like.
I was always under the impression that as I got older, my parents would lay off me and start letting me have a bit more freedom and independence, but it hasn’t gotten better. In fact, it’s gotten about 10 times worse.
See, I recently had to move back home because my fiance and I lost the house we were living in at the beginning of the year. Middle of last year I lost my job because of an illness. I usually try to spend as much time away from home as I can, but I can’t always go somewhere else. I had a car, but it was sabotaged by my stepfather so that I buy his crappy old mini-van off him. Once I started paying my stepfather for the mini-van, plus insurance, and anything else that needed to be fixed along the way, they decided they were going to sell it to someone that would give them the money quicker. They took MY mini-van, then, and cleaned out MY van when I cancelled my insurance on it, and sold MY van to some family that gave them 1500 bucks for it, without giving ME a red cent, OR paying me back for all the money that I already put into it. Their excuse? It was payment for all the money that they’ve spent on me through the years.
So, now I am car-less, and I mostly have to rely on friends to pick me up and “save me” as we all like to refer to it. If that doesn’t happen, I attempt to hole myself up in my room, with the blinds drawn so that they can’t watch me from outside (I have two windows in my room, one that looks square into the center of the porch, which they like to hang out in and try to spy on me at night; another window is at a right angle to the first window, which looks out to the entrance of the backyard: another region that my family spends a lot of time in, and, of course, try to spy on me). Now from the way it sounds, it might seem like I’m paranoid, but I assure you that I am paranoid for a reason. You try catching your stepfather trying to watch you outside from your window in the middle of the night and not get a “creepy” vibe.
I digress- I assure this drawn out babbling has a point.
Now, since I’ve lost my job, I’ve had a pretty hard time finding a new one. Especially now without a car and the way the economy is going. Our town is in the top 3 of the highest unemployment rate in all of Florida. I have no money, no way to make money at the moment, and no transportation. I’m pretty much ******** when it comes to getting a job. I have no money to get a car to drive out of town to get a job; I have no job to make money so I can get said car. I don’t even have enough money for a bus ride. I’ve applied up and down, but it seems pretty pointless to me to apply at the same places within walking distance over and over.
For whatever God damn reason (no offense to anyone religious) my family just seems to not be wired to accept facts. They argued with me about the existence of a jet stream. They argued with my over most things that are proven, actually. They are arguing with me now about the troubles of getting a job. Of course, my mother has it easy, because all she does is sit on her a** all day and play Solitaire. When she feels like it she gets up and maybe does some cleaning or shopping- IF she feels like it, that is. She’ll cook some dinner. If she feels like it. And then plops on the couch to watch some TV and get sauced until it’s time to go to bed. But she knows ALL about the struggle of getting a job. And for my stepfather? It’s pretty easy. He owns his own company so he doesn’t have to worry about not finding work.
But for me? It’s pretty ******** hard. But they tell me that I’m just dumb, and that they never should’ve invested time into me. As always, treating me like a child at every possible angle.
Now, as I mentioned earlier, my parents like to assume that they know who I am because I am their child and they LOVE to tell other people about my shortcomings. Especially when I’m sensitive about something. Anyway, recently my mother got in contact with my brother, who’d been gone for a good 5 or 6 years (short background story: my mother kicked my brother out when he was like 16-17 because he was experimenting with drugs a lot. He overdosed on Angel Trumpet and was taken to the hospital. After that my mother decided that he needed to be out of the house, so she dumped him off at my father’s who neither my brother nor I had seen in 10 years. My father is pretty much a slimeball in every sense of the word. He was in prison. He’s a racist. He smokes crack. You get the picture. I never saw my brother again after that. Short background on my brother and my relationship: The most I remember about my brother is that he used to beat the ever living s**t out of me when I was a kid (when I mean beat the s**t out of me, I don’t mean the regular sibling rivalry. I mean taking a hot pot of coffee and having a ******** field day with it). Make his coffee for him, clean his room for him, and lock me up in my room all day without food, drink or bathroom when my parents weren’t home and if I complained he would beat me up. My parents told me I was a liar when there was no proof or that I was over-reacting when I had bruises) and before he and I saw each other again, she decided to give him a little background story, I guess, about me and how I’ve turned out over the years. Neither will tell me what all was said about me, but apparently I’m immature, I don’t stand up for myself, I’m lazy, arrogant, and disobedient. Now my brother is on my a** every time he calls me (at least three times a week) asking me why I’m making my mother miserable with my “antics.” He asks me why I’m too lazy to get a job, why I have no motivation, why I can’t stand up for myself (which I do often enough), why I make up things that are wrong with me (my parents are under the impression that I make up things that are wrong with me- two years ago I was Baker Acted for a suicide attempt and my psychiatrist told me that I was mildly schizophrenic and that I have anger issues I need to work out, I was prescribed Risperdal, Wellbutrin, regular counseling sessions and sent on my way. My parents made me stop taking my medication after a month, stopped taking me to the psychiatrist, and told me that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I was just trying to get attention. They believe nothing that I tell them, and they constantly think that I’m “making everything up.” I was sexually violated when I was a child, and when I told my parents, my stepfather outright called me a liar. When I confronted him about it a year and a half ago he apologized- but only after a long rant about what he should have done, being my father-figure) and why I don’t do anything to help my parents. But the fact is, my parents are miserable with themselves and don’t do anything to help themselves, and they take it out on me. I just want them to treat me like a person, and they refuse to do so. I’m starting to pull out my own hair, and their nagging is getting worse by the day. Day in and day out all I hear when I’m home is them asking why I don’t have a job yet, why I’m not moved out yet, why am I so irresponsible, why am I so dumb. I’m literally starting to lose my mind. I can’t stand thing being the way they are anymore.
I don’t want to do anything involving legal issues.
I just want some advice on what to do to get my family to treat me differently. I want to be treated for the person I am, not the person my parents THINK I am. Hell, it would be nice if they at least treated me like a person…
Anything at all is much appreciated.
And thank you for actually reading this big mess of a ramble.
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