Poetry

[Kireinichi]

Whether you write it or read it here you can post your favourite ones, or your own and can comment, critique, and discuss it.  

[Ardens]

This topic is sad and empty sad Here, let me fill it up! blaugh

Cut off

Cut off I start to feel the burn
I can't bear to bear this burden much longer
In my sleep I toss and turn
But I know release with make the craving stronger
I need to have more no matter the cost
But I can't! I don't know what to do!
That part of my sanity is lost,
I gave it up when I fell in love with you.

My girlfriend and I used to spend a lot of time together, but after a while she started being dragged down by school and family and so wasn't able to spend as much time with me as we would have liked. It was during that transition period when we started spending less and less time together that I realized how much it hurt when we weren't together; during that time I wrote a number of poems, including this one.


Please, let me know what you think biggrin I tried to keep the poem about just the addiction up until the last line so that the fact that it's about love comes as a surprise to the reader; the addictive side of it should also enhanced by images the reader conjures up themselves such as alcoholism or tobacco addiction before they know it's about love.  

[Ardens]

Tichborne's Elegy

My prime of youth is but a frost of cares,
My feast of joy is but a dish of pain,
My crop of corn is but a field of tares,
And all my good is but vain hope of gain;
The day is past, and yet I saw no sun,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

My tale was heard and yet it was not told,
My fruit is fallen, and yet my leaves are green,
My youth is spent and yet I am not old,
I saw the world and yet I was not seen;
My thread is cut and yet it is not spun,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

I sought my death and found it in my womb,
I looked for life and saw it was a shade,
I trod the earth and knew it was my tomb,
And now I die, and now I was but made;
My glass is full, and now my glass is run,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

-Chidiock Tichborne (1586)



((side-note: Chidiock Tichborne was sentanced to death for conspiring to murder Queen Elizabeth I of England and was executed on the 20th of September 1586))  

[Ardens]

Alone

Why you never want to talk
I’ll never understand,
Or why whenever we’re together
You never hold my hand.

You don’t make the effort to see me,
I’m always the one who makes the call,
And though you always set a date
You never fail to show up late;

Or sometimes not at all.

I feel like I’m always alone,
And my sad, abandoned, broken heart
Can’t function on its own.

Obviously, more stuff about my girlfriend lol.  

[Ardens]

Occasionally I write poetry that isn't just me ranting about my other half, and I'll post one such poem here now.

Fear

I fear I'm losing touch with myself a bit each day
I fear my sight is fading until I can no longer see
I fear some of my sins cannot be washed away
I fear a mental breakdown is coming over me
I fear the life you want for me is but the shadow of a dream
I fear the work you choose for me will lead to all but naught
I fear the human threshold is bursting at the seams
and with that flood of people my single drop will be forgot
I fear my wants and needs will be seen as selfishness
I fear you feel guilty for the tears I've shed
I fear I ask too much when I ask you for a kiss
I fear if I recieve no love I'll nurture hate instead
I'm afraid we're more alike than ever I thought true
and I dread the thought of growing up to turn out just like you

This one is actually meant to be about parents, and many of the problems their children face with them. It isn't one of my best pieces of work and I think it needs a little tweaking still, but hopefully it'll be good enough to be appreciated.

Trivia
- the "shadow of a dream" is actually a quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet
- this poem is written in sonnet form which is traditionally used for love poems, and I thought it would be poetic to show that despite the feelings put forth in the poem, the love is still there and undeniable.
- I originally started writing this poem about my girlfriend again xd but decided to lead it in another direction for once
- no punctuation is used at all in this poem, not even at the end  

[Ardens]

Do you know what time it is?


Death

Silence surrounds me,
Nothing left but the echoes
Of forgotten words.

Night shrouds everything,
I wait for day to greet me,
But it never comes.

Looking back I see
That I am forever lost;
Never to be found.


That's right twisted IT'S HAIKU TIME!!

 

[Ardens]

Jabberwocky

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

-Lewis Carroll (1871)

((side note: try counting how many actual words there are in the poem, you may find it harder than you'd expect. Carroll used very few real words, but somehow was able to create a clear picture in the reader's mind))  

[Kireinichi]

wow these are really good, i didn't bother continue reading the last because i was like um question mark....they are REALLY good, you have experience which i'd love to have. but i love em all even if they are all about the same thing. i like to focus on nature, and metaphors if i ever write poetry. my friend does, but they also direct theirs to the person the love.  

[Ardens]

Thank you for that biggrin It's always good to have your work appreciated.
As for experience, all you need to do is practice and to not be afraid to have people critique your work. My sister helped me with some of my poems, saying where she thought I needed to make them better, and I learned from her advice.


I wrote a poem about nature once actually... just the one though, and it's not very good lol  

[DruidTigeress]

Speaking of which- since when did I give you permission to get so damn good?? scream gonk xd and while I'm at it, who knew you could be so emo when you want to? (Loljokingdon'thurtme)

Anyway to prove who's best I wrote this peom just now and titled it:

Re: Your poems
(but let's get serious now smile

I fear I'm losing touch with you as sadness steals your heart
I fear the man you used to be is fading more and more
I fear this fragile bond we have might break when we're apart
I fear I face a danger I have never known before
I fear that in this fearing I do more than I'm allowed
I fear that for this love one friendship pays the price
I fear to see your good heart burried in a shroud
I fear for one so shy, you're too quickly bitten twice
I fear you toss and turn this night as I do for your sake
I fear your wakeless mutterings, and drum of sleepless feet
I fear insomnia and anxiousness so often madmen make
I fear all I can do now is count sheep to slow my heartbeat
I fear that in the darkness the seeds of sorrow grow
I fear for you. I think I fear more than you know

And yet, more than anything I fear the thoughts behind my eyes
I fear I cannot speak because I cannot trust my own intent
Do I celebrate this union or long to steal back the coveted prize?
I fear I think this is an omen, but from hell or heaven sent?  

[DruidTigeress]

Also, my favoritest poem ever (written from memory, not copied so I might get something wrong! sweatdrop Also, I don't remember the punctuation) Not by me, but don't remember names well, so I can't say who they are by. (If you want to know, look them up)

The great minimum

It is something to have wept as we have wept
It is something to have done as we have done
It is something to have watched when all men slept
And seen the stars that never see the sun

It is something to have smelt the mystic rose
Although it breaks and leave the thorny rods
It is something to have hungered once as those
must hunger who have ate the bread of gods

To see you and you're unforgotten face
Brave as a blast of trumpet in the fray
Pure as white lilies in a watery space
It were something though you went from me today

To see the things that from the weak are furled
The perilous ancient passions strange a high
It is something to be wiser than the world
It is something to be older than the sky

Lo, and blessed are our ears for they have heard
Yea, and blessed are our eyes for they have seen
Let thunder break on man and beast and bird
And the lightning it is something to have been  

[Kireinichi]

DruidTigeress

Speaking of which- since when did I give you permission to get so damn good?? scream gonk xd and while I'm at it, who knew you could be so emo when you want to? (Loljokingdon'thurtme)

Anyway to prove who's best I wrote this peom just now and titled it:

Re: Your poems
(but let's get serious now smile

I fear I'm losing touch with you as sadness steals your heart
I fear the man you used to be is fading more and more
I fear this fragile bond we have might break when we're apart
I fear I face a danger I have never known before
I fear that in this fearing I do more than I'm allowed
I fear that for this love one friendship pays the price
I fear to see your good heart burried in a shroud
I fear for one so shy, you're too quickly bitten twice
I fear you toss and turn this night as I do for your sake
I fear your wakeless mutterings, and drum of sleepless feet
I fear insomnia and anxiousness so often madmen make
I fear all I can do now is count sheep to slow my heartbeat
I fear that in the darkness the seeds of sorrow grow
I fear for you. I think I fear more than you know

And yet, more than anything I fear the thoughts behind my eyes
I fear I cannot speak because I cannot trust my own intent
Do I celebrate this union or long to steal back the coveted prize?
I fear I think this is an omen, but from hell or heaven sent?

i love this poem it shows emotion  

[Ardens]

You know, I kind of wish there was more people writing poems in here besides just me and my sister lol  

[Kireinichi]

sorry! sweatdrop

then get the word out to your gaia friends and other forums with poetry and tell them to come here and post whee  

[Ardens]

Haha! Yeah I could do that... I don't have friends on Gaia anymore though, everyone I knew stopping coming online. Besides my sister of course xd