Being Social, Easier Said than Done. (vewi long)

[Kerize]

So, for the past 5 years (im 15 now) I've been ... the person whose introverted. for the first 3 years of those 5, i was dark, thought about suicide, would never talk to strangers and only to friends i knew for a long time. After those years i thought as my friends moved away. I'm gonna end up with nothing. Fine. I'll change, but how? For two years I sort of analyzed the friends I still had, maybe making 1 or 2 more in the lapse of two years (LAME i know).

So now im 15, this summer I've been thinking of using all those suggestions and small analyzations of those who are social. Be more extroverted is the key to this particular gate, but I just can't find myself, if its the guts, or the will to walk up to some slight stranger and start a conversation.

There is one problem that pulls this entire attempt of being social down a couple of notches. Where i live the town is TINY, and I had already attended during my 5 years of social retardness in the presence of almost everyone (yes, EVERYONE, no exageration here) and left a HORRIBLE impression of the dark strange child who sits in a corner and plays mute. I've heard it thorugh my friends, who get along with them and refuse to care about my reputation to fix it (closest things to friends anyways). (and trust me, they won't introduce me to anyone, cause they tried that 2 years ago and that's why i meant "everyone".)

What to do? I am moving away, but not for a couple of years, i know im staying at least one more. Last year was a failure. I don't know how to keep up a conversation with a stranger without getting nervous, stuttering or blanking out with what they're saying. I was even given anti anxiety pills by my doctor. And i know acting like the previous makes other people nervous as well.

I warned you it was long, maybe a bunch of pointless unecesarry stuff in there, but... PLEASE any advice would be great, how to approach, how to approach people who think you're demented, how to keep up a conversation, how to stop being so nervous. I don't even care about getting guys anymore since this issue is so priority right now. So.. hit me. :S  

[Soaring Sheep]

I have the same problem . . . I might be worse than you, even . . .

Um . . . my older sister would say that you need to be confident when you talk to people, but . . . that's easier said than done . . . It's easier to hold a conversation though when you have something to talk about. Try to keep in touch with the news or the world or the media or whatever.

One more thing . . . according to psychology, people tend to judge people by appearance first, then by how they talk . . . and they usually pay the least amount of attention to what the people are actually saying. Weird, isn't it? But that's how I've heard it.

Also, you might find something useful on this site:

www.lifehack.org/  

[GlGI]

just have confidence in yourself, and try to act more cheery and happy-but, I dont know you so I guess I can't tell you how to act confused  

[Kerize]

hmm thanks psycho for the site, maybe i can find something, and i guess as selfish as it may sound, im glad there's someone a tad like me out there. I hope you can get to fix things.

Kiddygrade, i've been trying to act more cheery but it's kinda hard when everyone looks at you like you're a nut. But... i'll sorta try it out, i guess... ty.  

[shani26]

you can allways meet poeple throuth the net if the real life scares you. good luck! smile  

[Kerize]

Well i have met a lot of people over the net razz ... so that's kidna done, problem is that if i rely on that, then ill be stuck to msn and gaia cause of online friends and if something like the computer goes poof or my internet goes poof its game over for me lol.

And squirty, obviously i won't change overnight. But i guess ill try to change a bit superficially... anyway thanks for the advice ^^.  

[SinginginSilence]

Don't try to be something you're not. Accept yourself and move on from there. I was extremely introverted when I was younger. Although I've become better at being in social situations, I'm still considered introverted. The thing to do is build your confidence. Walk, talk, and sing with it. It will make people want to meet you.  

[f ii o r e ll a]

Wow, I'm experiencing this problem too...except when I talk to someone I can't put my words into a proper sentence and everything I say just goes all over the place! I always say 'like' and 'um' a lot if I have trouble putting an idea through to another person. That's pretty much why I don't talk to people. I wish I could...  

[Kirbisiscle]

Maybe you can join a course to be more social. And especially if you are going to join a group. I think that it might be easier for you, because there are people just like you. In that course you learn to be more social in situations and you practice with other people.

Also you can try to join a club that shares your interests. I think it is more easier to talk to people, because they might have the same interests.  

[Kerize]

Hmm I doubt there are courses here. Well since I first posted, I entered school during the lapse of this post, and I don't know, i've been putting a huge effort on putting that little self-perseverant barrier down, and its tiring, yes, but it's been working a little, or so i think. But It doesn't feel right, and I don't want to act like sometihng i'm not....

Anyway I'm still not comletely "cured" and I suppose that somehow deep inside, knowing there's other people out there like me, i don't feel that alone. Psh. Well luck for those like me. And thanks everyone for your advice...!