Funny or just plain weird Quotes?

[Seisoku Yami]

ok, here's one my friends's mom told me just the other day

"Don't take life seriously. No one comes out alive anyway"

isn't that funny? well, let's hear your weird or hilarious quotes!!!  

[Ravenwolf]

Oh, I'm far too lazy to type all the ones I love out. Go to this site for a ton of great ones (the oneliners section).

Also, "I can't brain today. I have the dumb." From a T-shirt, perhaps?  

[Seisoku Yami]

lol.....not sure i quite understand....but funny!  

[Seisoku Yami]

wait, here are two more my friends mom told me.....or maybe just one......anyway here they are.

"People are like slinkys. Totally useless yet so amusing to watch go down the stairs."

"Friends are like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth."

haha, i thought they were hilarious  

[Ravenwolf]

Yeah, mine is sort of stupid. I just think it's cute. I love the slinky one. xd I've heard a lot of variations, but my favorite is,

"Some people are like slinkies: Not really good for anything, but you can't help laughing when you push them down the stairs."  

[Seisoku Yami]

yeah, it's something like that.....i never really know  

[Seisoku Yami]

so, you got anything else?  

[Schutzhund]

"Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devised at first to keep the strong in awe". - King Richard III (Act V, Scene III).
Amusing, true and brings forth nice mental scenes. cool  

[Lulubee95]

o know one thats not really funny but it made my shut-down brain start working again! here it goes..

" we all turn up the music to forget what happened but its stupid! cuz the lyrics remind us of what we want to forget.."

i thought it was kinda deep.
i dont know...
what do you guys think?  

[Michelio]

Seisoku Yami

ok, here's one my friends's mom told me just the other day

"Don't take life seriously. No one comes out alive anyway"

isn't that funny? well, let's hear your weird or hilarious quotes!!!

I like that! XD  

[Krell356]

My personal favorite is this D&D reference

"Jesus saves.... everyone else takes damage."  

[Soujii-sama]

Here's a hilarious quote i watched yesterday from "It's always sunny in Philadelphia::

"Hi, I'm Artemis and I have a bleached a**hole".


One of the funniest quotes I've heard in a while.  

[Seisoku Yami]

lol, that is pretty funny  

[Ryn Langley]

Let's see, I've seen a few interesting ones from webcomics and the like. I couldn't tell you where most of them are from, though. Some may be kinda inappropriate, so I'll have them highlightable only.

"Man, this is really awkward, like Daddy-I-ate-your-power-tools-and-rammed-your-paper-weight-up-kitty's-a** awkward."

"I am the world's deadliest hood ornament! Pigeons, crap on me at your own demise!"

"Axel: KILL THE HERETIC! Marluxia: Axel, that's a priest! Axel: DROWN HIM IN HOLY WATER!"

"Croikey...it's a spotted Pygmy Emo! I'll get me net!"--randomness from DA.

"When Brits scream... bowler hats and monocles FLY outta their head..."

kinda gross["A spine, a person's small intestines, and a severed head make for a bitchin game of tether ball."]

and a stupid one from a fortune cookie...
"In God we trust, all others must pay cash"

I have most of them as away messages on my messenger.  

[Seisoku Yami]

Invader Ryn

"Axel: KILL THE HERETIC! Marluxia: Axel, that's a priest! Axel: DROWN HIM IN HOLY WATER!"

Wow...that's hilarious...