Sometimes Love is just too Hard

[Shayme]

Can you be in love with more than one person? How do you chose which one to pursue? I'll expand more, when I feel people are actually interested.  

[PyroManiaxal]

To be in love usually means to love somebody with all your heart. You can certainly crush, be infatuated by, like, and even love, and so forth more than one person, but to really be IN love, it takes a lot more.

It's really difficult to make up one's mind, though, if you think/believe you <3 two or more people. However, if you are one of the unfortunate souls who associates schmex/lust with love, be cautious, as you can easily make the wrong decisions. I mean, if you love the person for their sex appeal, appearance, the way they make you feel when they do xyz (R to XXX-rated stuff here), then it more than likely is a love for the quenching of thirst your loins have been pining for that they have offered you that you love, but not the person themselves.

I have thought I was in love with more than one individual. Slowly, I believe I am learning that it is OK to love everybody in the same way that "God" or "Jesus" (if you believe in them - just an example) loves everybody and everything, however, that does not mean that either of them are IN love with these people/things. Just the same, although I attempt to love everybody and everything, I am not IN love with them all. Currently, I believe myself to be IN love with one being, who shall remain nameless. It seems our meeting was intentional despite the coincidence.

Now, to decide whether or not you are in love with somebody is up to you. Before you can do so, you have to love yourself. KNOW Thyself, more importantly. You have to be in tune with who and what you are, and what the meaning of your life on this planet is for you... because if you are in a relationship with somebody who has a completely different goal, or worse yet, a polar opposite goal which could be to destroy you, you'll find great heartache and regret later.

Well, I don't want to go into too much detail and bore everybody to tears.

heart heart heart heart heart heart

Short 'n sweet answer: No. Look within yourself. Avoid Lust.  

[RoleOfAQS]

Oh, god... a love triangle? That's... gotta be tough... Well, though the normal expression is 'follow your heart', it's never quite that easy, is it?

Edit: wow, Pyro seems to have nailed it...  

[sdakjghaskldfg]

Love is such a strong emotion. I personally haven't experienced it in a relationship setting but I would pursue the person you could spend your life with and be happy.  

[Aisiya]

Hi,
Yes I do believe you can be in love with more than one person at the same time. Some questions are who do you see a future with? Are you a better person around one or the other? Who inspires you to BE a better person?

Some loves are based on the physical, some the mental stimulation. Loving who you are when you are with that special someone is also a key.  

[FeebleAlt]

*agrees w/pyro*
avoid lust. trust me.  

[opheliaswims]

Personally, I know people who have been in very happy, very loving three person relationships before. It really depends on the feelings of anyone else involved. As a general rule, I think real love can only be felt between two people, merely because of how intimate a relationship that requires.  

[grindol]

To answer the question you first have to understand the different forms of love that are out there, firstly you have familial love, then puppy love, then romantic love, then physical love and finally true love.

Familial love : This is te love you feel for your parents, siblings and extended family, it is a love that binds you to them, you can fight with them and disagree with them but at the end of the day they are family and (in a perfect world) no matter what happens you will still love them and do all you can to help them when they need you to.

Then puppy love : This is not really 'love' in the strictest sence of the word but many people find this to be their 'first experience' with love, it is in fact more a deep respect/affection for someone that you admire, be that a teacher or someone in authority or a peer, it is usually someone that exeplifies the qualities that you yourself lack or wish you had.

Then romantic love : This is the connection of mind and heart you often get when you meet someone that shares similer personality traits to yourself, or similer goals, they epitimise your ideas of the perfect person, you feel good around them and feel happyest when around them, but in this love we tend to have to 'over look' their faults and falings in order to stay together. (also known as infatuation)

Then physical love : This is self explanitory I believe, it's the physical bond you share with some one you are physically intimate with, the chemicals released in the body and the brain that give you that euphoric feeling bind you and they together, even though you may not share any other connection. (also known as lust)

Finally,

True love : This is the ultimate expression of life, it is the feeling and emotion that we strive for, it is why we often persue all the other types of love, why we hold to them so desperately, but when we settle for them we settle for so much less then what we deserve, romantic love is the clossest to this but unlike romantic love the faults and failings of our partner are not over looked they are accepted, in fact BECAUSE of their faults and failings we love them more, it is the realisation that we love them with all our being, and that we would let them go. True love does not need the other person to love us, it has no alterior motive, no provisos or conditions, it is simply what it is, love.

All other forms of love require the other person to reciprocate in some way, true love on the other hand is a strange thing, it is the act of loving someone weather or not they love you back, it is loving them and being happy for them when their life works out, often true love is a mutual thing, when it is it is the completion of your life, and they tend to be the person you spend the rest of your life with, it is not possible to love more then one person like this as true love by its very nature is to love someone with your whole being, with ever part of who you are, that is not something that can be devided or shared, if you feel that you are in love with two people equally then you are suffering from one or more forms of the other types of love.  

[wifiscihifi]

i, personaly have never found such a love between me and one other person let alone a triangle but i have seen couples claming to be in love then i see what they do to that love and if thats love i have to say f love im sure there are ppl who found love out there but i have yet to see it.  

[DizzeeCubed]

I believe you can love more than one person but IN LOVE means something else entirely. Being in love means you take life as it comes and the only thing that will matter is that the two of you are together. You do everything in your power to keep each other happy and you work on the problems that arise. You can see a future with this person. You can picture yourself having kids and growing old. Maybe you should see who feels like that about you.  

[kins_ferr]

love is vast my friend
it can makes an ocean derives from a calm to a storm
but as far as you are sailing
if you are happen to be navigating
on a small boat its true you would
pursue your dream to be the captain
on board the Titanic
that is you wont go hit an ice berg
and plan to end up your dream right there
would you  

[reality-revised]

loving two people romantically...
is that really love?
if you say to them, i love you but i love this other person just as much and i want to keep you both, isnt it selfish?

i was told that before by the one person i felt i belonged with.
i told them they couldnt have us both.
i made it too easy on them.
i broke it off saying, be with her then. i dont want your love.

it was hardest and best thing i ever did.

that was a year ago. i just recovered a few months ago with a lot of tears, blood, and anti depressants.

so...loving two people at once i dont think is real love.
its selfish love in my opinion.  

[Xx velvet petals xX]

OK, long story short..

Listen to Pyro, seriously... physical attraction eventualy fades, and then they just annoy you.. But finding the person that you can connect with that always seems to be on your wave length, and even gets your dorky jokes.. hmmm

that counts for just soooo much more  

[ainenia]

I guess i can only be inlove with one person. might be attracted to another, though.

they say so many things that differentiate love from attraction, when you're there, it's quite confusing still...

could it be that you go for that person who is willing to return your love?
xD i guess i am rambling xD  

[Miniar]

As a polyamorous person I do know what you mean. I've been there.
The truly hard part is to look the one you love in the eye and show nothing to give away your emotions because they are monogamus and you live in a monogamus world. But if you really are "in love" then you would rather they be happy with someone else than unhappy in a relationship with someone who's heart has room for more than just them.
I'm currently in a relationship I consider far more monogamus than any I've ever been in. My partner and I have a balance unlike any other I've ever experienced. We still have space for others between and with us but what we have as partners is unique.

What I can offer is this.. no one can "love" you back unless they "know" you.. no one "else" can know you unless you know yourself. When you've introspected to the point where you feel comfortable being perfectly honest with yourself then you can start being perfectly honest with someone else and then, and only then, can you find someone who will love "you" and you can love back.