Sometimes Love is just too Hard

[Eldarwen Half-Elven]

NO cake for candy

OK, long story short..

Listen to Pyro, seriously... physical attraction eventualy fades, and then they just annoy you.. But finding the person that you can connect with that always seems to be on your wave length, and even gets your dorky jokes.. hmmm

that counts for just soooo much more

Here here. 3nodding  

[freestyle_skater]

just remember that when you love someone but loves someone else, set it free.

if that person loves you back, don't let go.

always leave a 50% of love in yourself. giving 100% to the person until you break-up is hard to pull together during heartbreak and can cause depression.

mothers know best

i based it on my experience.  

[Taxi Mama]

Grindol has truth.  

[Lizabat]

It's entirely possible to love more than one person. It's not as tidy or as easy as monogamy, no. And it certainly isn't for everyone. As for 'true love'...it's a cute myth.  

[President Kristian Fry]

I agree with PyroManiaxal.

I think to be truly in love means you want one person and only that one person. Yea you have a little crush or something for like 5 differnt people but be in love with just one.  

[Reggiehaha]

Love has many degrees. Yeas you can be in love with many people. It all depends on who is mostly on your mind when you think about it since you can love virtually anyone so you desire but if it needs to be separated into being the one you are supposedly to "be in love with" again it's about how you feel. Love is a rough definition when it comes down to it, more a mere description and understanding and is influenced by each individuals differences of beliefs than many people will feel differently about the love they have. Basically, Love is an idea based on a feeling and it's rare to have two people to even know if the love makes them feel the same way as each other so I have to assume that most people don't feel love like I do. hmmm, that doesn't really answer too much though in a way. The one true love is the one that there is no question of what you are willing to endure and are prepared to express endlessly no matter what. I believe I know the feeling of it but who will every really know if there wasn't something that made them feel more love if it never did. Wow, I'm really not getting a conclusion here, hope my thoughts help, lol.  

[Shayme]

I just wanted to thank everyone that's responded to my question. I truely appreciate the number of people who have reached out. Thank you!  

[twotees]

No you cant be in lasting and true love with more than one person.
And you dont choose it just hits you and you know.  

[Lil Brat]

True love ~ definitely more than a physical attraction, which does eventually go away, as in, "Ewwww, don't touch me, you make my skin crawl." This usually comes after you lost respect for the person you once loved.

Having realized that none of my "loves" really loved me, the person, I fall back on an old Twisted Sister song: "Love Is For Suckers." And thus, am very happily UN-married.

On the other hand, my grandparents were married for over 60 years, until death did them part ~ and my grandma still misses my grandpa everyday. So maybe it's a matter of luck and hard work.  

[Kamika Sugi]

♥ My dearest friend, if you don't mind...

I would rather commit myself to a cat rather than a man, if I hear their vulgar talk neutral Sometimes I even think that sex is the only thing on their minds. Yes, that is closeminded of me to think that and I know there are men that aren't like that but they are scarce. To me, love is much more than sex. Love means giving and taking and I see a lot of couples aren't capable of that.

...I'd like to join you by your side ♥

 

[Dante_de_Fenal]

For any of the persons you believe you may be in love with: imagine hell on earth, are you willing to go through it for one of them? Have you ever had a "knock down drag out" fight (i.e. a very painful, emotional fight, not a physical one) with one of them and then made it out the otherside with the relationship still on the go? Are you willing to go through that with any one of them?

So far, everyone here's mentioned the good of Love. And Love is Great, Love is Good, but don't forget that one major world religion's (i.e. Christianity) biggest example of Love is the undergoing of one of the greatest tortures ever created by man. Would you sacrifice yourself like that for someone? (The vast majority of honest people would admit to answering "no", so what I'm really asking is "would you like to believe that if you were as good a person as you'd like to be that you would go through that for him / her?"). If "yes" I think you've found love. Love hurts. (And I wouldn't give up a second of the pain I've ever felt).  

[Etoile de la Mer]

I think it is self-obvious that people can love more than one person. You don't stop loving one child when another is born. People who get divorced don't live in a loveless limbo. Most of us date multiple people and fall in love a few times before we settle down with one person. We are social creatures and one of our hardwired responses to emotional closeness is to love.

I too have seen a three way relationship work. Everyone was best friends with everyone else and everything was honest and even. That, I think, was the key to that relationship honesty and fairness. Sometimes one partner would want to spend time exclusivly with one other. For a short period of time, this might be fine, but over a long period of time, it could easily lead to hurt feelings as one partner feels left out, or worse, pittied or tolerated. No one likes to be pushed to the side and only be remembered as a "Oh, we really should spend time with...", have their hopes raised that they were once again a valued part of a relationship, then get dumped back to the sidelines more hurt than before. So this threesome would plan out "dates" so all partners "dated" the other partners and they spent A LOT of time in what they called "family meetings" where everyone got a chance to talk and be included in important decisions about their relationship, and since they were all living together, they all made decisions together about the mundane details of their lives. I didn't get much detail about that part but I heard them talk about it often enough that I now use it in my family with great results.

A threesome (or moresome) takes a lot of work to do. If you think a relationship with one person is hard multiply it for each person you add. It takes a boat load of communication, being honest with yourself and everyone else in the relationship, and often willingness to sacrifice your own personal interests for the good of everyone in the relationship.

If you are thinking of lying, forget it. You might get away with it for awhile, but then you will get caught and the emotional fall out on the people you "love" is going to be terrible. If you are lying to one or both, you don't love them. You're using them. One or both might stay quiet, hoping you will eventually change, but the psychological damage you will do to them will be tremendous. If this is the case, cut them both loose and go find a relationship with another "player" who is fine with someone who's never going to be faithful, truthful, or anything else except a performer in bed.