friends

[Kylsum Hikaru]

i swear some times its best not to have any friends...it seemd they do nothin but back sab when they have there man or woman around..they think there the s**t..i dotn know i guess i just trust ppl so much..i really dont know how to go about it..i mean i know theyt dont mean to be mean but they do....and when there other isnt around...they are cool ppl.....for exaple...i met my friends bf today...at first he seemed liek a cool huy....then he ended up talkin s**t about how he can hurt me and what ever...i just bit my tounge for my friends sake..then when she comes back inside from a smoke break he calls me usless straight to my face....im a southren man..i work damn hard for my self and other...thats almost calling me a weak a** b***h...i aint weak and i aint a damn dog....and i just looked at her and she luaghed and said oh well....how much bullshit is that  

[freaxy]

I hate those.
only thing I can bring to the table is to just do your own thing till you can spend time with your friend, after time if they actually consider you a friend then they'll take in the fact that you won't be around when he is. it's kinda of a test I guess you could say...it teaches them a lesson in realizing what's more important, and it shows you where you stand in the friendship. it's not always a good thing, but I'd say let time tell and maybe see what others have to say.

[note: debating on if this belongs in the advice sub forums...need a second opinion]  

[wifiscihifi]

i know what u mean about biting ur tongue and trusting the wrong person and i think a guy like that needs to get his a** beat cus thats not ko and if she just stood there laughing thats not a very good friend u have there shes showing u where she places u on her friends list... metaphorically speaking, but normally i wouldnt start any problems no matter what they did to me usually i let karma take care of ppl like that and usually something happens to them right in front of me while they look at me knowing they got what they deserve.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Advice forum does seem a little more appropriate in my opinion.

Addressing the issue, I would say it isn't much to worry about yet if it was an isolated incident. I do not personally know your friend, but in a situation like that, sometimes people will shrug and laugh out of awkwardness, uncertain how to react appropriately as to not offend either person involved.

For situations like this in general {in which a friend will act differently when their mate is present}, if the way they are acting makes you feel uncomfortable, offended, or hurt, then I would say you need to talk to that friend and address the issue. Some people will act differently around their mate without even realizing it and need to have it pointed out to them before they can fix it.

Conversely, there are also times in which people act more natural around their partner than they do with their friends, depending on who they feel more comfortable with. It is pretty commonplace for a person to, either consciously or subconsciously, alter their mannerisms or personality to better relate to those with whom they are associated.  

[reality-revised]

a real friend wont put you through that crap.
a real friend would confront the p***k.
i know if it were my bf doing that to my friend, hed be kicked to the curb.
i dont tolerate ANYTHING like that.
people threatening others to make themselves seem big, or to "claim possession" are ridiculous.

ok now im done ranting...
talk to your friend about what he does and be honest about how you think or feel about it.
if shes a real friend then shell understand without blowing it off.
hopefully shell help you fix things and you can all be friends.  

[Xx velvet petals xX]

NOT a friend at all... Be the better person and walk away from them both, eventually your so called friend will come up to you and then you should let it out how you feel. But dont put yourself in the position to experience that BS again.

That really was crappy, sorry you went thru it  

[indyana]

It's an unfortunate truth that even the most level-headed, supportive, close friend can turn stupid when it comes to relationships. In the honeymoon phase, people are basically looking through rose-colored glasses at everything their partners do. I know that no friend of mine has ever wanted to hear me say anything bad about her new boyfriend (even if it turns out to be entirely justified and true). It can be really difficult when you see a friend with someone who is obviously a jerk. I feel for you.

I've always had friends turn immediately defensive about their significant others. I find that the best thing is to be polite and well mannered, even if the boyfriend (or your friend) isn't. Be supportive and let her know that you're there for her, no matter what, even if you don't get along one hundred percent with her chosen beau. You don't have to force yourself to spend a lot of time around her boyfriend, but stay in touch with her and behave yourself when you feel it is necessary to put in an appearance. She doesn't need to have you turn on her, especially if her boyfriend doesn't turn out to be the Mr. Wonderful she thinks he is right now.

Bad relationships will always fall apart, so unless there is a danger from abuse, you can only wait for the hormones to wear off and your friend to come to her senses. If you don't think it's worth the effort, so be it, but if she's a friend you want to keep, go for patience.  

[Taxi Mama]

If you let folks disrespect others, they'll let others disrespect you. I can't stand disrespect, so I won't hang out with folks who disrespect others. If somebody I want to be friends with starts disrespecting somebody else, I say, "Hey, everybody has issues, including us, so let's not be mean about it."

It's easier to find respectful people in certain types of places; maybe you need to change where you're looking for friends? I find my friends where I work, where I volunteer, or at church.  

[otakuskater]

I agree with everyone.

If you're not comfortable with them anymore, avoid them and meet new people.  

[Alexis Arquette]

OH HELL NAH!! f*ck that dude, I wulda messed that guy up! Sorry for being rash but I dont take sh*t, even from a "friend", 'specially if she just laughed in your face.  

[Dani Hyrosha]

indyana

It's an unfortunate truth that even the most level-headed, supportive, close friend can turn stupid when it comes to relationships. In the honeymoon phase, people are basically looking through rose-colored glasses at everything their partners do. I know that no friend of mine has ever wanted to hear me say anything bad about her new boyfriend (even if it turns out to be entirely justified and true). It can be really difficult when you see a friend with someone who is obviously a jerk. I feel for you.

I've always had friends turn immediately defensive about their significant others. I find that the best thing is to be polite and well mannered, even if the boyfriend (or your friend) isn't. Be supportive and let her know that you're there for her, no matter what, even if you don't get along one hundred percent with her chosen beau. You don't have to force yourself to spend a lot of time around her boyfriend, but stay in touch with her and behave yourself when you feel it is necessary to put in an appearance. She doesn't need to have you turn on her, especially if her boyfriend doesn't turn out to be the Mr. Wonderful she thinks he is right now.

Bad relationships will always fall apart, so unless there is a danger from abuse, you can only wait for the hormones to wear off and your friend to come to her senses. If you don't think it's worth the effort, so be it, but if she's a friend you want to keep, go for patience.

What she said. Can't really add more than that xp  

[Tess A Tigre]

Violence is never the answer. Walk away, don't look back. They aren't worth your angst, time, or energy!  

[killafrog]

my sis had friends like that they have a bf and they were out couldnt do things even if they had night off bf at times so if they care they will call i dont think its worth it to do the work to keep it alive it could be time to find new friends u could still talk thats fine if u dont mind but if they can call u names be mean to u, then they aint good friend if they can turn on u
my idea is let them go if they come back then it might be worth it but other then that i dont know  

[Tirsden]

Tess A Tigre

Violence is never the answer. Walk away, don't look back. They aren't worth your angst, time, or energy!

*ditto that*

Find new friends. Yes, you probably have to go through a lot of crappy people to find the good ones (I know I sure have, and it's hurt like hell) but in the end you do find some truly great people. Plus, if you give up and give in and live with abuse (or choose a more dangerous path), the bad pricks win. "Never give up, never surrender!"

I think there are a lot of people out there who don't even know what "friend" really means... but eventually people who really can be friends without pretense and chaos can meet up. 3nodding  

[Crazy Cream Pie]

As much as I'd like to say stomp the guy and walk away. I don't think thats the right way to handle things... The guys a jerk. How long and well do you know your friend? Love or lust can make people blind even to jerks. Most of the time after the first few weeks are over most people can see through the person and they figure out that jerkface is a jerkface and move on. I'd let her know how you feel and if its worth it to you try to still be friends. If its not walk away.