Abortion.

[Gwion Vaughn]

First off, I have never had an abortion and never will. I've gone to great lengths not to be involved in pregnancy in any way. I am not capable of reproducing any longer.

In a perfect world, no one would. In a perfect world everyone would have contraception and sufficient education to use it. In a perfect world, self esteem would be too strong to let people be pressured into doing unsafe things. In a perfect world, condoms would never break or fall off in situ. In a perfect world everyone would be clean and sober during sex. In a perfect world there would be no rape or incest. In a perfect world couples would negotiate reproductive decisions calmly before it gets to the serious stage.

Guess what? We live in the real world. In the real world, the choice can be abort or be homeless. In the real world sometimes that child is so damaged it will live a short, horrible life. In the real world sometimes you hate the father or the circumstances of it's conception so much you would risk your life to get rid of it.

In the real world, the choice tends to be legal abortion, black market abortion, or infanticide. That's what happens, you see. Historically, city trash heaps where full of dead babies. Now, in poor countries with abortion and contraceptives outlawed, parents starve the extra children. In the real world, teenagers get kicked out for coming home pregnant.

I live in the real world. I have had friends who had to make this decision. They didn't make it lightly. Frankly? If you are capable of making this decision easily, you probably shouldn't have children. I am glad it's a decision I will never have to make for myself. I also lack the arrogance to think I should be making this decision for other people.

Why I'm against requiring partner permission:
I am imagining what that'll be like for all those women in a relationship where talking it over is an ugly option. Yes, in an ideal relationship, they'd talk it over anyway. Hands up for those of you who believe a majority of these will be ideal relationships. Anyone? Anyone? So imagine someone who just got out of something turning a little ugly and finds she's pregnant. Now she's got to go back and beg him for the right to get rid of it. Even if he was controlling or verbally abusive or he hit her. Nice. Statistically? Most pregnant teens have a boyfriend older than twenty. Imagine the already skewed power relationship there with this new lever to hold over her. what if her parents will kick her out if she turns up pregnant? This has "Recipe for Disaster" written right over it.

Yes, it's not ideal that the guy doesn't get a say, but you know what? Not his body. Sorry. Yes, it sucks that if she keeps it, he'll be having to help support it whether he wants to or not, but that still is not as horrible as forcing her to bear it and raise it and support it against her will. The risks, medical and social are all on her side while the financial ones are split, likely not evenly. There is no way he should get final say here. Sorry. No dice.

We live in the real world. Legislation must reflect that.

I choose quality of life over quantity. For a living I had to deal with the messes adults made of the lives of children they weren't prepared to raise. Ever spend all day in a room full of kids with serious damage do to parental drug and alcohol abuse trying to teach? I have. Then I got up the next morning and did it again. I've seen the mess abuse and neglect leave behind. It's not that I didn't love or care about those kids, but realistically, most of them are going to have seriously sucky lives. The statistics for generational drug and alcohol abuse are chilling as are the crime figures. The brain damage typical of FAE/FAS pretty much sets the kids up for early pregnancy/jail/addiction because it takes away the ability to understand consequences, cause and effect, and amps impulsiveness. no, not all of them end up living horrible lives, but odds are in favor that most of those kids will have trouble holding jobs and make terrible choices because of the damage. These are incredibly labour intensive children for foster care and schools and they are the ones with the least chance of succeeding in life. All that heartache, all that love, and labour and class time spent dealing with these issues, all the counselors and social workers and instructional aides could be invested instead in helping ordinary students or children who's problems are accidental and generally more remediable. Generational FAE creates a permanent underclass.

I genuinely think we'd all be a lot better off living in a society where every single child comes into the world wanted and loved with a decent chance of living a decent life. I think birth control is a huge part of that, but accidents happen. They happen more often to the young, the drunk or high, the most impulsive.

I value the quality of life for people already here over that of potential people. Yes, its harsh, but over population is causing major environmental damage. If depopulation ever becomes a major issue again, I'll rethink, but population has been rising steadily since 1400 and I think its more logical to try to improve conditions for people already alive now.  

[Aisling Blue]

I live in New York, and a close family member works at an abortion clinic in the city...one of the few in the state. I hate driving to visit her, and having plastic babies thrown at me from the pro-lifers who think that they are doing the greater good by protesting. Look...if you're against abortion, don't stand around and b***h about it...do something. Volunteer to be a mentor to teenagers, help others understand birth control methods, and effectivness. Communicate!

I am completely pro-choice, and i had an abortion about a year ago, without discussing it with anyone. The counselors interviewed me, i listened politely to the "other options" but still made my choice, and have yet to regret it. I wasn't ready to be a mother then...although i'm more ready now. But how could i predict the future? We're better off not bringing in a child into the world where "maybe" is the word of the day. Maybe they'll have enough food. Maybe you can finish school. Maybe the family will help out. Maybe the father will be happy...too many variables to take the risk. Because if the maybe ends up being a No, well then it's the child that SOL...not the pro-lifers who protested against the abortion.  

[154573]

I believe in pro-choice. I can write so much about it but I choose not to. I feel so strongly for that, it honestly would take a lot of my time and energy writing the whys and whatnot. lol. So i'll just state my stance.  

[Venuslady]

I am completely pro-choice.... not to sound bitchy, but I think MEN have had control over WOMENS bodies far too long.

Also, I had to have an abortion back when I was 21... because I have Turners syndrome, and was NOT SUPPOSED to be able to get pregnant, it came as total shock to me! My Turners also resulted in my having a bad heart, and the doctor told me that with the stress I was under AND my heart factor, that the pregnancy would for sure have killed me. Regrets? Yes and no. I would have loved to have a son or daughter to carry on for me, but if something had ever happened to me, I know my Hubby would be HEARTBROKEN, and I wouldn't do that to him. And at only 21 I wasn't ready for parenthood. **sigh** And that MY particular little story! dramallama  

[mrssavannah]

0Brutal-Beauty0

Pro-choice. I just think we should try to reduce the number of abortions all together by providing birth control everywhere. And real education about sex and pregnancy offered to young people. Sex ed wasn't exactly helpful to me in school, lol!

Education is always good, but anyone can get pregnant without meaning to..however careful you generally are.
I got pregnant for the 5th time when my youngest child was 3. At the time I was at university taking a degree and my husband was working away Mon to Fri. I was sick for a couple of days and my birth control pills didn't work.
I had a termination because it was the right thing for me to do. We didn't want another child, couldn't afford one..it was a very easy choice.
I have never regretted it and still believe it was the only sensible thing to do.  

[The Last Chase]

I know this has been up here for a while, but I have suddenly found myself in a situation where I am looking for a place like this.
Before this point in my life I wouldn't say that I was pro choice, but sometimes you find yourself in situations that make actually having a child... impossible, or just unfair (to the child and the mother). There is no way that I could have a child right now, even though I would much rather go through with the pregnancy and give it to someone else my situation wont allow it.
I know I've been talking to a few people on here about other stuff and I suppose this is kind of strange for me to be talking about, but I don't feel like I'm a bad person. Although, I know I am in the situation I am in because of having sex and I should know what can come of that, which is why I feel terrible about it, because I've ended up here because of things that I did. But I have to agree what someone said earlier in this that it doesn't make a person evil. It can make them irresponsible or unprepared, or emotionally unstable, but I don't think anyone ends up in such a situation because they get a kick out of it.
Right now, I know that my father would be devastated and I want to keep his image of me alive, because I know that he would never look at me the same if I told him. Also, my entire family is very religious and my mother looks at pregnancy outside of wedlock a sign of lower class, white trash (she's white collar, always has been). It may seem like stupid reasons, but my family is seriously important to me and their religious background is huge, I want to respect that, even if it means keeping something like this from them.  

[Shinigami Unity]

Okay, first off I'm from Fargo, ND. The only clinic in the state is closing down because of a law they just passed. SO saying that...

I don't think abortion should be "a dirty little secret." I can understand why many people have to resort to that, but I don't feel that's right.

I had an abortion a little over a year ago and I've struggled with a way to tell my family. I really couldn't care less what they think about me - I know I'm my own person regardless of what my Mommy says.

I think that if we were able to openly discuss it and how it impacted us, it wouldn't be such a traumatizing event. And yes, how horrible I still feel is what's making it so difficult to tell my family (we don't have emotions in my family).

I still stand by my decision - but I am devastated that it was the right one to make. The situation I was in was all wrong - I should have had someone to lean on in order to make a different one.

I don't think it's fair to the would-have-been to be my dirty little secret.  

[The Last Chase]

From what I have learned, most first pregnancies end up misscarrying anyway, they just dont work out the first time around.
My friend is very pro choice and going through all of this with her being my one and only friend I can tell... it makes it very hard. She's already named it and feels the need to call it a 'him'. I know where she stands, but she is one of those people that makes these things into 'dirty-little-secrets'. It's been really hard to work and train for management while I'm feeling dizzy, sick and tired all the time. It's just not possible to go through with a pregnancy at this time in my life.
But what my family thinks of me... is very important. I love my family and even though I'm already the black sheep I would never change them for the world. They are all very Christian and they will never understand my lifestyle, but my fathers oppinion of me means more to me than anything. It may seem stupid, but it's how I am and I respect my parents. They already had a huge shocker when they found out I was doing nude modeling and no matter how much I tried to tell them why I do it, they will never get it, because to them it is disgracing my body that 'god gave me'.
So the fact that I am getting an abortion is something that I will never tell them, not even when I'm married and have a life of my own. I never want to have to go through this again, and I am taking all precautions to do so, but either way I know that it would ruin everything that I have built up with my family.  

[Shinigami Unity]

My first pregnancy resulted in a live birth.
My second and third resulted in miscarriage.
My fourth pregnancy resulted in a live birth.
My fifth pregnancy ended in abortion.

I've heard contrary information from the medical community - it doesn't matter which pregnancy it is, there's equal chance of it miscarrying (unless prior medical issues).

I just hope that you are getting enough information - from a doctor - before you do it. That will help with any after effects you may have (the mental kind) becasue you never really know how it will effect you until you have it done.  

[Patron with a Mission]

Pro-choice, and had some close calls.

Accidents do happen (they seem to happen to me a lot more though >.>). but as I said, I seem to be lucky in that I haven't gotten pregnant. That's why I use birth control. Well. that and I kinda have to (I have a slight problem being regular with that special time of the month).

I would rather adopt than have kids. I want to help those already here and in need of help from me. Maybe I'll change them better that way. Oh, and cats. I think I might lean with cats from the shelters and take them in until someone adopts. biggrin  

[Malheureux]

I personally have never had an abortion nor have I myself ever been pregnant... benefits of being a man blaugh

But seriously, I think if abortion was made illegal (again) women would indeed find a way. However, fewer women would simply because it's illegal.

For example, my ex-mother-in-law had my ex 6 months before it was abortion was legallized back in the 70s. She told me that the only reason she didn't have an abortion was because it was illegal (a very sad comment from a mother, but it is what it is).

Also, on another note, murder in this country is illegal (stay with me). If it were not illegal to murder stupid drivers, our Interstates would be littered with loads of dead dipsh*ts! I would carry a 9mm and lots of ammo... but alas... murder is illegal... so they live on... *sigh* emo  

[starblazer66]

I didn't feel like reading anyone else's opinions past a certain point. I know it's unfair but so is being expected to be able to live with your decision even when you don't want to do it.

I never wanted to give up on the first baby I didn't have. I did so because my meds at the time were of a huge risk and I was kind of crampy. I had to do it for my health. But there are times I still can't forgive myself either.

My stance on Abortions- I'm for them only when medically necessary or if the female pregnant is younger than 18. However, at the least, I feel that women should have a limited number of abortions as there is only so many we can undergo before we see some real damage done to our femme parts. Abortions should be a last resort.  

[[ GeeKer ]]

Okay, first off, I am a 21 year old female, who is in a serious committed relationship. I am pro-choice, and I do plan on having children one day, once I am ready to be a mother, when we are financially stable. I have had an abortion, and I do not hate myself for it, I do not sit and dwell on it, it happened, it is in the past and I was not ready to be a mother at 18, working at a minimum wage job, living with my mother. It was a very painful thing, physically and emotionally, for me when it happened and the next months following. I was unable to say that I had the abortion, it was that we, my fiance and I, had the abortion. I knew I also would not be able to carry the child to full term and then just hand it away to someone else, not with my first at least. Now I can say I have been there, hell I was able to swallow my pride and tell my cousin, who was 16 at the time, that the option was out there, and it was not the worst thing she could do to her, now, daughter. It saddens me to see single young women, stuck in a dead end job, living off of the state and their parents because they choice to have a child when they were not prepared to. Mostly because I'm sure they do not know who to turn to about that situation. I was glad my mother was there to help me with the bills and other things that were tied to it.

 

[The Last Chase]

One thing I do have to say about all this is that there is such a thing as giving the child up for adoption.
Personally, I don't really have that choice and I know that there are plenty of other women/girls that are in the same place, but I don't understand how all these people end up becoming single parents and their lives are ruined. I mean, I understand going through with it and letting that child grow up and live, but is it really right to be a mother when you're not ready?
I knew a woman who couldn't have her own children and she really wanted one and she always told me that she wished that some of these young teens who got pregnant would do the right thing and allow that child to go to a home where they could actually grow up the right way.
I mean, is there anything wrong with that? I know it's their own flesh and blood, but it almost seems selfish. Shouldn't that child have a better life with someone who can't have children?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to say that someone can't, but I just wonder why the option for adoption seems so strange.  

[Shinigami Unity]

When I made that choice when I was 16 and pregnant, I knew that if I carried him to term and gave birth to him I could be nothing but selfish - I wouldn't be able to give him up.

All things considered, I think I'm doing a better job than a lot of parents out there becasue I commited to raising him - whether I was ready or not.

I think adoption is a great choice to make - I'd have a lot more respect for someone who did made that choice because I understand how hard emotionally it would be.

You always have a choice. Sometimes they aren't very appealing, but they're still choices.