A strange problem

[Dark-Blue Zeus]

This topic may sound stupid coming from someone 22 years old-
but I wanted the opinions of those either around or over my own age. When I was in my teen years, let's say I had a traumatizing experience with a girl and since that day I've had a unbelievable fear of women. After all this time I was recently told I have gynophobia. Is there any way past this? if not I'll be confined to the internet forever.  

[Kamui_kusinagi]

.....Well, though I don't really know anything about the particular fear your facing, I do know how I eliminate my random and rare fears. Usually, if I find myself scared of something, I'll jump right in. If something happens then the fear was warrented, if nothing happens then you know where you can tell that fear to go. Well, hope it's some kind of help any way.  

[Shenyu]

Well, I don't know what you fear in particular, but if you have problems with contact, you could ask a friend and go out and meet some people. You will always have a "support" by your side and can try to make experiences that show that not all women are bad.  

[Taxi Mama]

All women? Strangers in a crowd, cashiers, old ladies in the grocery store? I'm guessing you mean those you find attractive and/or those who find you attractive. Fear of intimacy isn't uncommon, especially after a bad experience. My husband had a freaky 1st marriage, and thought he'd never risk his heart again, but I convinced him otherwise. It took a year of all-moods email, 6 months of weekly heart-to-heart telephone conversations, and 2 weekends together to convince him he could love again. We started emailing about a year after his separation, and I really think the 2 years alone was necessary before he could let anyone get close.
 

[Dark-Blue Zeus]

well its limited to anyone not related to me. on the streets i'll cross just to get away from them. if im in the same room every fiber in my body screams to run away get out of there.if im in close proximity i start to sweat and shiver violently and i get real antsy. its ok around relatives but strangers or whatever i can't take it. i even get sick.  

[queen of qeeks]

That's a really extreme reaction to women. Maybe you could take it slow at first? Go to a library and ask a female librarian for help, or get your hair cut by a female stylist? That's all I can really suggest from where I stand. I tend to shy away from physical contact with men which I think stems from a bad relationship I had. Shoving myself into uncomfortable situations helps though, because after, I'm able to realize that all the bad endings I thought up before the encounter never happened and can then continue fro there.

It also helps me to remember that most people are just as worried about themselves as you are, and tend to not even notice you unless you invade their thoughts. When walking down the street, those other people are probably too busy thinking of all the things they need to do to give you much mind.

I hope this helps a little. And always remember that you're not alone.  

[Puck the Elf]

Move slow. Try going out with a group of guy friends and throw a couple of females in the mix. If you can get used to being around girls and making friends with them, it should help you get over the fear of women.  

[Dark-Blue Zeus]

I-erm...Don't have any friends...not even on gaia.  

[Airtia]

If your fear of women is that intense then I suggest, instead of talking to one first, simply go outside. If being around them makes your skin crawl, gives you chills, makes you sweat, ect, then you, first, have to get use to simply being able to be around them.

Go someplace and simply sit. Sit and read a book, something, but be out where the people are. You can't stay inside forever.

You also need to examine the reason why you've developed this fear of women, when this fear started, the circumstances around it. Things could be different now.

Often it's hard to move on from a bad experience because everything reminds you of what happened and any failures that you might have had, but you can move past it. The first step is to be willing to do something about it.
 

[Tanuki Rei]

My classes have taught me that sometimes with phobias you have to simply expose yourself directly to the negative situation. I've seen therapists put people afraid of confined spaces into an elevator, with longer and longer exposures each week until the situation becomes moot. Is it a perfect cure? No, in fact I'd be lying if I said that.

But who's to say you haven't already taken the first step by making this thread? Add people to your friends list, start random conversations. It'll take some work, but if you have some people to support you, you'll work past it in time. heart  

[Shinigami Unity]

I would have to relate this experience you're talking about as similar to my experience with men. I was sexually abused as a child, and it makes for very awkward situations with affection and guys.

I'm not saying you were sexually abused, just that it seems like you have a similar response to myself.

What I did to overcome this - and it's still a problem from time to time - is start by taking small steps with someone you can trust. At the stage that you are, the first thing is to seek out a female with whom you can build a trusting relationship. Once the trust is there, you can start to build on your extreme fear.

Jumping in and handling fear is a good idea - I just don't work that way. But I do hope that you find a way to make yourself more comfortable with women. Having close friends of any gender is a wonderful thing. ^_^  

[Miniar]

A phobia is often a "bucket" to contain "all" your fears and issues. So when you become overly afraid of something it's so that you don't have to deal with everything else.
Thus, curing one phobia can lead to the forming of another.

In order to avoid that, I would go see a psycologist if at all possible and slowly work on all aspects of life, not just this one.
The key is ofcourse No rushes, no pressures, no "facing your fears" all at once, but a slow and steady progress. Start small and go from there.
Have a coffee with a girl who's aware of your fears. Shake her hand. And then, go from there.. Just a little bit at a time is the key.  

[Dark-Blue Zeus]

I never felt so lame. I attempted to follow all of your advice,but all that happened was The sight of me choking and feeling the bile rise in my throat. Maybe its better to just give up at this point. you can't teach an old dog new tricks and all that mess..  

[queen of qeeks]

Dark-Blue Zeus

I never felt so lame. I attempted to follow all of your advice,but all that happened was The sight of me choking and feeling the bile rise in my throat. Maybe its better to just give up at this point. you can't teach an old dog new tricks and all that mess..

...only, you're not an old dog, and this isn't a new trick. Maybe you should see a doctor then? A male doctor and talk about things with him. I'm sure he'll understand and have some helpful advice none of us are qualified to give. I'm usually hesitant to go to doctors, however, because I feel most of them are too eager to put you on pills to "fix" problems.

Meh. All a personal choice.  

[Soulfire29]

If you can be strong enough to get over the fact that I'm a women I would love to become your friend.
Not because I'm lonely,desperate or needy.I just find you to be an interesting person and I jump at the very oppertunity to be able to help someone with his or her life-experience.
So if you are interested leave me a pm or a message on my profile.
I'd be happy to get to know you in an unrestricted,unconfined way.

Be bold and see what comes of it...