Pregnancy and Loss Discussion

[ShinnyNeko]

TequilaRose

Mrs_Black_Bear

I am not we are waiting to try for our first but if you are still interested in talking to other pregnant girls and women here is a thread for you

Pregnancy Support

ya I am already a part of that. this is more for discussing not really getting answers... and to talk with people older and a little more mature. Not kids who shouldn't be having sex in the first place and know that sex makes babies.

so i was curious and checked out the link and the first think i see is--

Quote:

Penni_Bee

shinobu_maehara24

Eww, he's still cute though. haha.


Umm I'll be 18 in a month, anddd Richard will be 21 in February. 2 years and some odd months haha

awww, your just like meeeee biggrin
got preggo at 17, gave birth at 18. thats kinda cool razz

and i think i can say for a fact that i agree with this V

Vaidurya

And if someone else says to go to Pregnancy Support, for one thing, that's support for people that are neither emotionally, mentally, or physically ready to have children. Here, in this guild, we all should at least be PHYSICALLY ready. Our bodies are fully developed, and therefore, more likely to carry a child with success. As to emotionally and mentally, well, that's why we're on this board. Whether we're ready or not, the help of our PEERS and not our YOUNGER COUNTERPARTS is what we women need.

when did it become cool to ******** up you live before you graduate? (no offense to anyone here, but SERIOUSLY)

sorry...just had to say that >_>  

[pretty hate machine]

TequilaRose

Mom makes me mad sometimes. I think she thinks that I shouldn't have even named him... and the last time I talked to here she was like... You shouldn't memorialize him...on his birthday or whatever

I think it's wonderful that you named him. This way the healing might be easier for you, and it's always nicer to think of your child as a person with a name than just... something, if you know what I mean. Everyone heals in their own ways. <3

Quote:

when did it become cool to ******** up you live before you graduate? (no offense to anyone here, but SERIOUSLY)

sorry...just had to say that >_>

You're entitled to your opinions. ^^

I think when it comes to some girls, they feel having a child is the only -future- for them. Granted they may not always think on the how they're going to have the baby or any sort of a reliable support system, but I think that's just how some of them feel. Maybe they weren't the best in school, etc, but they feel having a child would make them feel like their life was worthwhile. At least that's what I think.  

[Vaidurya]

pretty hate machine

I think when it comes to some girls, they feel having a child is the only -future- for them. .... Maybe they weren't the best in school, etc, but they feel having a child would make them feel like their life was worthwhile.

I was raised by a stay-at-home mom, and plan on being a stay-at-home mom, but that doesn't keep me from being intelligent enough to know the right time to have a kid. My mom didn't have my older sister until she was 27, and I plan on waiting until I'm (hopefully) 24 or 25. If I become miraculously stable (damn finances) before then, well, I might end up forgoing my hopeful age, simply because I'm already within a year of it, and I'm sick of having to pass up something I've twice held in my grasp.

Back to my main point, my sweetheart's mother raised seven kids, and held a job to help pay for her kids' education. She was also a depression baby, and my sweetie's the youngest.

My only question for these simple girls is... And after the kid's 18? What then? (Rhetorical, by the way.)  

[saint dreya]

i personally wasn't pregnant. my best friend was. i was to be their god(s)parent (she was having twins).

she went septic, after the first trimester, and was forced to give birth to a dead twin and one who lived for 6 hours without lungs.

although i did not personally undertake any making of these boys, their carrying, or their birth, i feel immense sorrow at their loss. further, i feel guilty that i seem to be grieving more than my friend. i feel like i am not "allowed" to grieve this much about children that weren't mine.

it's been a little over two months, barely one since the memorial. both twins were named and their ashes were each put into a Build-A-Bear, which the parents sometimes sleep with.  

[Lady_Niqui]

That's incredibly sad. But I think everyone grieves in their own way so you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

As for me, I went from doing okay to high-risk out of nowhere. (Or at least it feels that way to me.) Apparently, my family's legacy of diabetes and high blood pressure have made an appearance. I'm 31 weeks along, almost to month 8. Today my doctor put me on disability. So now I get bedrest until delivery and I'm not supposed to drink anything but water. When the doctor told me I didnt know whether to be happy or depressed. I like working but I was starting to struggle a little. I almost panicked when the doctor was looking for my baby's heartbeat and couldnt find it for a few minutes. Thank goodness he said she's okay. Hopefully the rest helps. sweatdrop
When I told my husband, he was happy. I asked him why and he said that maybe being home will help me stop stressing out so much and then I'll be nice to him again. *sigh* I didn't know I was being mean. confused  

[TequilaRose]

Vaidurya

And if someone else says to go to Pregnancy Support, for one thing, that's support for people that are neither emotionally, mentally, or physically ready to have children. Here, in this guild, we all should at least be PHYSICALLY ready. Our bodies are fully developed, and therefore, more likely to carry a child with success. As to emotionally and mentally, well, that's why we're on this board. Whether we're ready or not, the help of our PEERS and not our YOUNGER COUNTERPARTS is what we women need.

Well for one it doesn't matter if you are physically ready... and it doesn't guarantee you will have a child successfully. I know that from first hand.. but yes you are right... emotionally and planning... thats a big difference.  

[TequilaRose]

I am glade more people are talking in here too.  

[Lycangoddess]

It is hard on those who are not emotionally ready as well, though. I lost my first (and only baby at this point) when I was 16. My mom still doesn't know to this day. I still had that "I'm Indestructible" attitude that most teenagers have, but it hit me hard afterward. It still feels like a hole punched in my heart.

And apparently after a bunch of mixed medical messages and some test results from a (finally) down to earth doc, it may be that I can't have any more.  

[Momma Mira]

Um hi! I'm Mira.
I'm 27 and have had one miscarriage about eight years ago. I was only about two months pregnant, but it still tears me up sometimes. Especcially in January which was when the baby would have been born. Luckily I had a few good friends who supported me.

When I did get married (four and a half years ago) Hubby and I wanted a child right away, but it took a verrry long time for me to conceive (to tell you the truth, we actually started before we got married) Luckily we were able to, and now we have our little Sophie, after a very difficult beginning (she was a month premature and she and I almost died in the process).

Now we're ready to try for child number two, but I do have a few concerns and worries. The pregnancy itself is no problem, it's when the baby's ready to come out that gets me.
We've made plans that my entire third trimester will be spent resting, as high blood pressure is what sent me to the hospital, and we're also watching what I eat mainly because my blood sugar was questionable at best.

Good luck to those trying!
My heart to those who have lost.

ninja  

[Lady_Niqui]

Well after a rough pregnancy, my misery is over! On Dec. 7th, I had my little girl. I'm so overwhelmingly in love with her that it made the last 9mos worth it. She looks exactly like her father heart She was 5lbs 1oz at birth and completely healthy which I am so happy about. She was a little premature so they were worried she might have problems but they ended up only keeping us for 4 days and then letting me take her home.

When I was in the hospital I thought that I'd never ever decide to have kids again. I was so scared and in pain. I had severe preclampsia and toxemia and diabetes. Basically everything short of miscarriage that could go wrong with me started going wrong. They tried to induce me but then the baby's heartbeat slowed so they rushed me to surgery. I think I'm definitely a bit more wary but I would like to try one more time at least. It wont be for at least 4 or 5 years though. sweatdrop  

[Shellykulele]

Congrats Lady Niqui on the safe arrival! Just in time for Christmas too.

It's been really interesting reading this forum. I'm 26 and have been with my partner for coming on 10 years. We own a house together and are fairly financially stable. For years I said I never wanted kids (the world didn't need 2 Shelly's) but over the last year the whole maternal thing has crept up on me. I'd really like to start trying soon but the other half just isn't all that into it. He keeps saying 'one day' but I know that 'one day' means 10 years from now.

I guess the reason I want to start soon is that I don't want to miss out if there are any troubles. Many of you had rough pregnancies and my Mum had several miscarriages and an eptopic pregnancy (baby developing in the fallopian tube). While she still went on to have 3 kids, she was nearly 40 when she had my youngest sister and I'm not keen on having kids that late! And while I can never feel the loss of losing a child I really feel for those of you who have. My Aunt had a stillbirth at 20 weeks which knocked her about. We still visit little Steven's grave every so often.

I tell you what. Being maternal and not being pregnant is tricky! I've found out about 2 friends pregnancies this week, and have another friend 4 months along. That and adoring all my other friends kids makes the yearning all the more...I'm so ready for kids!  

[TarablyConfused]

My son is ten years old now, and I always felt like it was a bit of a miracle he made it into the world. It was a difficult pregnancy and delivery because he was almost a month late and quite large.

A few months before I was pregnant with Jordan, I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby plus a fallopian tube during surgery. I think every person grieves at his or her own pace, and every now and then I wonder if that child had lived, would he or she have been anything like Jordan. It's just a fleeting thought, but I still wonder.