I'm looking to move out but there are . . complications :x

[K aren]

Hi Guys!

This is my first post here, so please bear with me and the text-wall soon to follow :B I swear this half-intro thing is relevant. I'm a 22 year old (well, I will be 22 in about 2 weeks) college student living in Los Angeles with her parents. The living situation with my parents have become so poor that all we do lately is argue, and I'm too tired to stick it out any longer. I know that I'm one of the lucky ones who can bum off free rent and food from her parents, but I can't stay here any longer. I don't even feel welcome here -- and I haven't felt welcome for years now.

So I've been looking to move out, but I don't even know where to begin. I don't want to be stupid about it and suddenly be faced with a bunch of problems I don't have a plan for.

Financially, I have about ten grand saved up from my past two years of working. I'll be making about $800 a month assuming that the state budget gets signed (I'm a Student Assistant who does temp work for Schwarzenegger). I don't drive at all, so while I don't have to deal with car maintenance, gas, or insurance, I also have to deal with the whole trying-not-to-get-stranded-before-the-bus-stops-running issue :B I would also have to cough up 1.2 grand every few months for college (right now my parent's income makes too much to apply for financial aid, but I'm seeing what I can do if I'm on my own). And the last thing is, I have too many health-related issues that a standard 22 year old should have to deal with. Namely, I have a serious case of gingivitis and will need to have gum surgery which'll put me back about 4.5 grand. I have a payment plan set up with my periodontist that will allow me to pay as each quadrant of my mouth gets fixed, so I won't need to drop that 4.5k at once, but in concurrence with my schooling fees . . it's going to set me back by a lot.

I'm already paying for my dental fees, but I know that if I move out, everything will be cut from me.

Yet, at the same time, I feel that it's worth it. What do you guys think I should do? I'm not asking for somebody to draw out a plan for me (though that would be great), but even tips on how I can draw up my own plan would be of great help [: Should I buy a planner or something? @_@

Thanks for the help in advance (and reading it all the way up to here :B) heart  

[freaxy]

well, the first thing is obviously if you have to leave and if you can afford to...otherwise you're gonna have to come crawling back to where you are now.
I've never liked situations like that. since you're in school, I'd suggest seeing if they can assist in finding local housing for you(most will offer assistance), but if for some odd reason that they don't I'd go and check apartments.com
Once you're living on your own you'd probably be able to redo your financial aid as an independent.
As for the rest, I'm not sure.  

[Wixandrettas]

OK.. grab a pen and paper.. Im going to give you a few things to jot down...


Where you are living, I want you to consider looking for your local Health Department. They may have a list of referrals for you to go to that will help with the costs associated with medical/dental care. You might even find that you may qualify for certain types of assistance where you are a student!?

Finding an Apartment:
First and foremost, the best resource to use and it is free, is the local newspaper. If you want to save even MORE money, check to see if the local newspaper is found online! Most major newspapers will have all of their apartment listings on the site. Just a click away!

If you are looking for an apartment, you have to consider what you can truly afford. Dont go looking for something out of your price range... but definitely dont resort to the slums where more trouble could be for you. If it is just you, consider a studio? Most studios are in some very nice areas, have all utilities included.. there are some that will allow you to even cook in your own dwelling too!

Financial Aid: I hear you on the problems with that! I think it sucks that your parents' income can directly affect your ability to get FA.. its rediculous! Have a talk with your Counselor/Student Affairs Department, and talk with them to see if there are opportunities available to help you out... Perhaps living in the Dorms as a Resident Advisor might help?

My 18 yr old sister is working on campus in their Computer Lab and is also a Resident Advisor.. .She got a huge break on her tuition, plus, earning an income from the college she goes to entitles her to a percentage off of her classes...

There is always a side street that will take you to the same destination... It might be a little bumpy at first, but the end results will take you where you want to be....

Good luck hun!  

[K aren]

Thanks for the help you two n__n

As for the teeth thing, what I plan on doing is sticking it out at home until next year when my parent's insurance is going to be cut from me (I think it ends when we're 23). People under my mom's insurance get 1k a year for dental insurance, and each quadrant is 1.2k to fix . . so I can use up the rest of this year's and next year's dental insurance and pay the difference for the rest of my teeth out the pocket. Then at the same time, I can start to put money back into my bank account.

I'm thinking of renting a small apartment with roomates or renting a room with somebody. As long as there's running water and electricity, I'll be okay. The only problem is that it needs to be close to a bus station that can take me into Downtown Los Angeles (where I go to school and work).

Its just . . . kind of a lot to deal with :/ I know I need to do this smartly, but I'm also scared out of my mind :B  

[elwine]

Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore
She loves salting my wounds

Generally, the more roommates, the cheaper the rent. Of course there are exceptions to that rule. I would call lots of places months before looking to move. And signing the lease (or any paperwork) earlier than you want to move in. This will enable you to have a place. Some places fill up fast.

As for the FAFSA thing. I'm going through that right now. I'm 22. The only way to be considered an independent and not put your parents are:
"You have to [either] be emancipated from your parents [if you're an orphan or ward of the court until the age of 18, or if your parents are deceased], a veteran, over the age of 24, married, or have a dependent yourself." ((taken from this article))
There's one other way, for people that are over 18, weren't emancipated, but don't have contact with their parents. But it's a lengthy process, I looked into it. You have to have proof and submit another application. As for getting the aid, there's always loans.

If you wanted, most schools offer free tuition if you get hired as a Resident Assistant in the residence halls. I'm not sure of the size of your school, but that's always something to look into. Also, I would talk with a counselor about different jobs and what else you could do to lower your tuition.

I bleed confidence from deep within my guts now
I'm the king of this pity party with my jewel encrusted crown

[[Currently listening to: -- ]]

 

[TamlinSan]

Having been in this situation a few times, I feel I can give you some good advice. It'll be a bit long, but I hope it helps!

1) Go buy a mo-ped. Yes, they are a bit dangerous, but if you don't treat it like a motorcylce they're okay. This will give you transportation so that you can get to work and school no matter where you live. Another option, one my cousin gave me is to get a motorized scooter. They're cheaper and they're actually fun.

2) If you don't mind roommates, why not try the dorms? This often includes meal packages and most of your utilities are included. If you are going to a community college, the roommates are the best situation, or go find a studio apartment if you think you can afford it and the roommates drive you crazy.

3) Financial aide is a pain. You can get work as a student assistant or some on campus job, but it's better to work on your own. This sounds odd but the best school time job I ever had was in real estate. I got my licence and sold real estate after class and on weekends. I usually had time to do my homework at the office during desk time, which I always volunteered to do a lot of because I got to use the office computer, had a comfortable desk and chair, and made enough money from the clients I picked up to make my life happy.

4) Don't spend more than you earn. It's really simple to look at $10k and think you've got a lot. You don't. Keep pinching pennies and when things go south, you have something to fall back on. A lot of people get into trouble because they spent up their nest egg and when things go bad, they have to run home, go sleep on their boyfriend's couch, or go to a shelter.

5) As someone who had the same dental diagnosis, I will give you advice I wish my doctor had told me about. Go by an electric toothbrush with a timer and patiently brush your teeth the aloted time (2 minutes) every day. I went from needing a "deep cleaning" or two at a hefty price tag to being patted on the head and told no gingervitis, tarter, or cavities in one year all because of a three dollar toothbrush, replacement cost of batteries and brushes, and a few tubes of extra-whitening toothpaste. I also think that changing dentists to a nonprofit dental clinic also had a bit to do with it. (I hate that I almost paid for my dear, old dentist's new Mercedes.)

6) Yes, go buy yourself a planner and make plans. Chart out what your long term goals are (5 years in the future), what your intermediate goals are (8 months to 2 years) and what your short term goals are (2 weeks to 6 months). Plan how you want to reach those goals with rewards for yourself when you reach those milestones. I have one and I love it. I can check out where I was and feel proud that I've improved, I can look at what I am going to do to reach my goals, and I get goodies when I hit my marks. I also get to feel like I'm accomplishing something grand when my goals are reached. I love mine!

Instead of being hesitant, go out and have fun. You're beginning a whole different life. It'll be great if you let it!  

[Wixandrettas]

you know.. its amazing how much harder it is today for youth to get a post-secondary education. Cost of living is rediculous, the rules about education funding is a joke, the ability to be safe and secure comes with a very high price too...

It was tough enough on me going to college back in 95?! But nothing compared to what these kids/young adults are going through 8 years later

My sister is thankful for the Computer Lab job and the RA position. Its taking a tremendous amount off of her tuition, but still has to pay a good chunk left. My daughter at the age of 15 thinks about 'how am I going to pay for college?" Trust me when I say this.. Im getting her started early with college-funding research. Thankfully one of her teachers was one of mine almost 20 years ago, and he will help as well considering the university he attended is where my daughter wants to go.


Do us all a BIG favor. keep in touch on this thread.. tell us how things are going... If we find new information that can be helpful, Im sure all of us will share it with you!

Hugs to you from New Hampshire

Melanie  

[pretty hate machine]

Insurance tends to expire for dependents that are still students at the age of 25. At least that's how my mom's is set up. It may be different for you, so there's no harm in asking just to be certain.

Have you ever thought of maybe paying a little rent to your parents? I'm not sure what their sort of financial situation is, but I found that when my parents were getting really pushy and unpleasant with me when I was living with them and going to school, it was because they were hurting for money and they weren't sure how to ask me how to help out (by paying only $200 a month in rent) because they knew how hard I was working at school. Perhaps that could be a factor as to why living with your parents is unpleasant. I dunno the situation, so I can't really say.

Urgh... Living on your own and trying to maintain a steady job, as well as going to school is nigh impossible. I "make too much money" to apply for financial aid even for my community college, yet I can just barely afford to keep myself fed, clothed and housed in a small one bedroom, one bath duplex. It's not easy living out on your own, but regardless of all the hardships I've gone through, I think it was worth it.

The only thing I can suggest is don't move out if you feel you aren't ready. Like you were saying, you have huge medical bills that you're going to have to pay soon, so it might be in your best interest to hold off on the moving out thing for a little while. Take this as a time to save up for a security deposit and maybe do some scouting for a good place. In addition to newspapers, you can also go to reality companies which will give you listings of houses, apartments, condos and duplexes they are renting out. You've got a pretty good idea of what it's going to be like living on your own, but seeing as it's your first time, take into consideration that you're going to have to be paying deposits on pretty much everything for the first time, like electric, water and internet/phone services (unless you live in a place where these are included in your rent). That's something I wish someone would have told me. I saved up all this money to make sure I had enough for the security deposit, but everyone failed to mention all the set-up fees you have to pay for utilities. O_o  

[lady leko-chan]

I'm not sure if this applies to you at all but -
i figure any advice may help?
I work for a university in a full time position and also live in graduate housing which both keeps me close to work and school.
But the main thing is that by working full time for the university I get 1/2 tuition as well as full medical benefits (including dental).
You should go talk to the financial aide dept. at your school and see what type of opportunities they may have available like this.
Just a thought - hope it may be helpful.