I need an uplifted spirit

[Tendrhrted]

I haven't really been on gaia, been insanely busy with work. I am a teacher, so paper work keeps me busy and my days are berrated with the questions of young innocence.

When I come home, I am mommy. I have a ten month old son who is my responsibility. I am not married to his father, we do not live together, and here stems all of my happy issues...

When I was six-seven months pregnant, the father of my son beat me up over rent money that he didn't have. I had more than my fair share. He busted my lip, gave me two black eyes, tossed me around like a rag doll, left choke marks on my neck, and even though I pleaded with him not to, he punched me in the stomach. At the time I was frightened and went crying, bruised, broken, and puking to the police.

As a pregnant woman, I was scared for my future and for my son. Selfishly, after about two months of staying away from his father, I let him back in my life in about November. Everything was ok until January. After the baby was born, he was drinking again and I was being abused. I've had my hair ripped from my head, countless bruises on my face, hidden by my bangs, my head slammed against floor and wall, lumps and bumps hidden beneath my hair. I've had four cell phones broken.

I am the only financial support for my son. Well... I've had all I can take from his father. I can't take anymore, so I'm staying away from him. He thinks I am keeping his son away from him, but I am very afraid of him. He has empty promises to his sons from a previous relationship and I'm scared of him.

Today he left me a voice message saying he's going to take me to court... and I just don't know how much I can take. I'm nervous and sad and in this melancholy state. I want to cry but I've already wasted enough tears on him. Can anyone offer any words that may help me?  

[lady leko-chan]

Have you documented any of the abuse?
like pictures? wrote down things he did after he did them?
These are all good things to have prepared for court in case he does take it there.
but here is one upside - how can he pay for court?
these could all just be intimidating threats on his part.
hang in there - you sound like a strong person, you can do it.  

[Kyreie]

Document everything, save every message, get a restraining order, it's all been said and it's all great advice!

With such a history of abuse, I would be very surprised if any court decided anything in his favor.

You've got to look out for your own welfare and that of your child, sounds like you're doing a good job so far, stay strong and keep it up!

Good for you for saying ENOUGH!!! (*hugs*)

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk, vent, anything! I don't claim to have any answers, I've never been in your position, but I do have broad, waterproof shoulders! heart 3nodding heart  

[Lady_Niqui]

Good for you for staying away. It's gotta be hard for you but you sound like a strong person. Don't give up okay. The last thing you want is your son to grow up thinking its okay to hurt the women in his life like his father hurts you. And his father doesnt deserve you either. I dont know anything else about him but I do know that a man who hits women is a man who's afraid to hit men. It makes him feel better to think that he is more powerful than you because he probably feels pretty pathetic compared to everyone else.
You have your own power. smile As a mother and a teacher, you have a chance to teach the children in your life how to add a little bit of goodness to the world. It may not be flashy and it's not instant gratification but it's still special and important. heart  

[Harbone]

The man you describe makes me ashamed of my gender.

Stay away from him and do not hesistate to get a restraining order. Right now. Either someone at the school where you work or at a local domestic violence advocacy center can help you if you're not sure what resources are available in your area. Just ask around. If you've got a social services department or a department of human services, just go in and ask for a referral (they have to give you one. They usually have a big room full of pamphlets and local agencies available for all levels of income and most schedules, at least in most US cities and Europe.)

We menfolk are lazy creatures. Once we've found something we can get away with, we will do it again and again and not even think to ask why.

Sorry, we just will. It's part of male culture in the western world.

(If you don't live in the western world, there are still places that can help you out legally.)