The Corrupt-a-Wish Game

[bandaidd]

Granted. No snow today. Or ever again. Anywhere. Global warming actually cools the earth till all the surface water is frozen and the landmasses become cold, arid deserts.

I wish I knew what to wish for.  

[Volvy]

Granted, but it only grows single peso coins, and they are 50 feet up in the air.

I wish I had my own company.  

[Volvy]

Granted, but the drivers are missing and the police arrive on the scene to arrest you for robbery and suspicion of murder.

I wish I didn't have work in the morning.  

[Volvy]

Granted, but as she becomes comfortable filling your working role, your doppelganger decides she's not happy letting you reap all the rewards from her effort. She slowly insinuates herself into more and more aspects of your life, before finally ambushing you in the night. The next morning all seems normal to your friends and family, but in reality she has taken your place. She keeps you tied up in the basement as her prisoner in case she even needs information about your past, but no other person ever sees you again.

I wish trolls were real.  

[Volvy]

Granted, but the time machine can only travel forward, so you are stuck in the future and can never return.

I wish I wish I had a fish.  

[Volvy]

Granted, but at the end of the day you get the bill . . . $5000 seems a bit pricey, don't you think?

I wish I had an infinite supply of beef jerky.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Granted, but you still get fired.

I wish I had more chocolate.  

[Maune]

Granted, but you end up like fat Brian. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMq2rrEWKJA

I wish I had more passwords.