The Corrupt-a-Wish Game

[ThisEmptySoul]

Granted, but you end up with so many that not only do they surpass the amount of various accounts you have, you also can't remember which one you used for which account.

I wish I wasn't such an extreme procrastinator.  

[bandaidd]

Granted. Now you are in a rush to get everything done ASAP. You have a thousand lists of things that need doing and they need doing NOW! You multitask like crazy--putting your bed in the shower so you can shower while you sleep but you CAN't sleep because that would be wasting time you could be using to brush your teeth and organize your inventory and closet and kitchen and weed the garden and the neighbor's garden and save kittens and work in a soup kitchen while you shop for christmas presents and hold down three full-time jobs while working on your double master's degree. You become impatient with yourself and everyone else who is getting in your way. You text and feed the chickens while driving to your italian cooking classes and because you are in such a hurry you don't notice the traffic lights or the police chasing you just before you crash through a barricade and drive through the air and into an alligator infested swamp. You didn't even realize you were in Florida. pft.

I wish my avatar had more cheerleading outfits. emotion_bandaid  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Granted, but they're all much too evil and promiscuous for Bandy.

I wish I could sleep better @_@  

[bandaidd]

Eep! *puts on a bathrobe*. I will put you to sleep by magically turning you into a baby and singing my lullabies to you even though I can't stay in tune.
la la la ahem
The itsy-bitsy empty soul
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain
And washed the empty soul out
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the itsy-bitsy empty soul
Climbed up the spout again
Hush, little empty soul, don't say a word.
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat
And if that billy goat won't pull,
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over,
Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover
And if that dog named Rover won't bark
Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest empty in town.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Scintillate scintillate globule vivific
Fain would I fathom your nature specific
Loftily poised in the ether capacious
Strongly resembling a gem carbonacious
Scintillate scintillate globule vivific
Fain would I fathom your nature specific
When torrid Phoebus removeth his presence,
Ceasing to lamp us with fierce incandescense,
Then you illumine the regions supernal,
Scintillate, scintillate semper nocturnal.
When torrid Phoebus removeth his presence,
Ceasing to lamp us with fierce incandescense,
The traveller on lustreless perigrination,
Gratefully hails your minute coruscation,
He could not determine his journey’s direction,
But for your bright scintillitating protection.
The traveller on lustreless perigrination,
Gratefully hails your minute coruscation,
Lullaby and goodnight, with roses bedight
With lilies o'er spread is empty soul's wee bed
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed
Lullaby and goodnight, thy gaiafriend's delight
Bright angels beside my crazy friend's abide
They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my desk
They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my desk
Rock-a-bye empty soul, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come empty soul, cradle and all
Empty soul is drowsing, Cosy and fair.
Bandaidd sits near, In her rocking chir.
Forward and back, The cradle she swings
And though baby sleeps, He hears what she sings.
From the high rooftops Down to the sea,
No one's as hmmm As Empty soul to me.
Wee little fingers, Eyes wide and bright-
Now sound asleep, Until morning light.
Golden slumbers kiss your eyes,
Smiles await you when you rise.
Sleep,
Pretty baby,
Do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby.
Cares you know not,
Therefore sleep,
While over you a watch I'll keep.
Sleep,
Pretty darling,
Do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby.
Day is done,
Gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky.
All is well, safely rest,
God is nigh.
Little Soul blue, come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn
Where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under the haystack, fast asleep.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why, can't I?
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
Hush, now, don't you cry
Ah,
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
It's an Irish lullaby
Over in Killarney, many years ago
My bandaidd sang this song to me in tones so sweet and low
Just a simple little ditty in her good old Irish way
And I'd give the world if she could sing that song to me this day
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
Hush, now, don't you cry
Ah,
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
It's an Irish lullaby
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,
Go to sleep my little empty soul.
When you wake you shall have
All the pretty little horses.
Black and bays, dapples, grays,
All the pretty little horses.
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,
Go to sleep my little emptysoul.
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,
Go to sleep my little empty soul.
When you wake you shall have
All the pretty little horses.
Lavender's blue, dilly dilly,
Lavender's green
When you are king, dilly dilly,
I shall be queen
Who told you so, dilly dilly,
Who told you so?
'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,
That told me so
Call up your friends, dilly, dilly
Set them to work
Some to the plough, dilly dilly,
Some to the fork
Some to the hay, dilly dilly,
Some to thresh corn
Whilst you and I, dilly dilly,
Keep ourselves warm
Lavender's blue, dilly dilly,
Lavender's green
When you are king, dilly dilly,
I shall be queen
Who told you so, dilly dilly,
Who told you so?
'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,
That told me so.
Sleep, empty soul, sleep
Your father tends the sheep
Your mother shakes the dreamland tree
And from it fall sweet dreams for thee
Sleep, empty soul, sleep
Sleep, empty soul, sleep
Our cottage vale is deep
The little lamb is on the green
With snowy fleece so soft and clean
Sleep, empty soul, sleep
Sleep, empty soul, sleep
Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
Goodnight, empty
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight, empty
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
They never die
That's how all us
old folks
Will be
ZzzZZZZzzzzZzZ....

I wish my tumor was gone and my brain was back.  

[bandaidd]

Way to go Bandy, you killed this thread. Your tumor is gone and your brain back... but in the fridge.

I wish the weather here was like Camelot.  

[-Stumblefoot-]

Granted but you decide not to stay, as it is a silly place.

I wish my car insurance was cheaper crying  

[sara_fairywing]

It is, but you have a $10,000.00 deductible gonk

I wish my house could clean itself.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Granted, but it deems everyone and everything inside of it to be dirty and thus becomes uninhabitable, lest you find yourself being terminated during a cleaning cycle.

I wish I could make video recordings of my dreams.  

[-Stumblefoot-]

Granted, however you get sued by Disney for copy right infringement and deformation of character to Rapunzel.

I wish I hadn't inadvertently driven down that bus lane in Lewisham! xd  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Granted. You crashed into a lake instead.

I wish I could more easily stay focused on my projects. sweatdrop  

[Volvy]

Granted. You are now so hyper focused that once you begin working on anything it consumes your entire being, making it impossible to so much as eat or sleep until the project is complete.

I wish I could lose some weight.  

[Lil Brat]

Granted, you lose weight just thinking about it but you overthink it and get hospitalized for your skeletal size.

I wish the guild were more active..,  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Granted. Now you've got your hands full with a bunch of snotty little shits that you're 99% certain lied about their age when they applied to join only after seeing them actually post.

I wish rent would stop going up for the same shitty apartment. stare  

[Volvy]

Granted, but since the landlord is not keeping pace with the market, their low profits make it impossible to properly maintain the property, so the apartment gradually becomes shittier until eventually it is condemned.

I wish I could speak another language.  

[Lil Brat]

Granted, you are now fluent in gibberish, but only those snotty kids that lied about their age to get in here can understand you. Too bad you never get a word in edgewise.

I wish I could retire already.