Why are you never happy?!?!

[A Song Is Born]

I dont get it. Most of my friends... they are normal. They have ups and downs.
And others...
Its non-stop drama. I have a friend I have known for... 10 years. Met her in grade school. Been good friends with her since then. And at least once a week since then she has called me and told me that she was going to kill herself, or that she hates herself and is going to go do drugs to forget the pain or some crap like that.
I am not like that. Even when I am upset I have never once considered suicide. I dont understand the feeling of wanting to end your life. I can help her by telling her how she is beautiful, funny, smart girl with a lot for her... but she is just never happy.
And as bad as it sounds... Its old. I am sick of telling her this every other day.
She refuses to go see a doctor or anything.
But I am afraid if I just tell her she needs to just grow up and get over it, like I so desperately want to, she will actually do something drastic.
I have like 3 friends that do this type of thing...

I just dont know what to do about them!

 

[Kodona style]

I had a friend kind of like that though I only knew her through middle school
Its like before she was so preppy use to carry a pink purse and have her hair in a high ponytail but then one day me and my friends let her listen to the black parade well huge mistake
And then its like after that she became so suicidal,began going obsessed over hot topic clothes,and dark music (I dunno maybe she became somewhat of a poser?)
It like everyday for the next year she always talked about how life sucked and how ugly she was (but she was really pretty)
Then in 8th grade she began to talk about killing herself different ways because this one guy didnt like her and her parents were mean which they werent I mean they spoiled her to death with presents
Me and my friends didnt know how to deal with it so we just kept telling her to stop she kinda dimmed it down but...im guessing she went back looking at her myspace
My old friends still deal with her but I dont since I moved after 8th grade

Wow that was long~
Not sure if itll help though >_>'

 

[daft alchemist]

Try going about it this way:

Tell your friend that you are worried about her. Tell her that she needs to get some help. If she still refuses to get help, then tell her that you don't want to have to stop being friends with her, but that you can't handle all of the negative emotions and talk of suicide. Tell her that if she doesn't try and get some help, that you may have to stop being friends with her because it's just too much for you to deal with.

It's true too. You aren't a professional so you aren't really equipped to handle that kind of thing. It could be depression, it could just be a phase, it could just be that she's trying to get attention, but no matter what the fact that she considers and talks about suicide means that she needs help. That's the bottom line, end of story. And if you do this and it does backfire, you can't blame yourself. Like I said, you can't be expected to handle all of that and you can't be expected to help her. You just aren't able to.  

[Yogurt Man]

I know a girl like that. I barely talk to her anymore though.

I've been through so much drama, I swear, my biography may as well be rewritten a bit to be a soap opera.

Well anyways, this kid, Jen, one day she all sends me a PM (not on Gaia, this was before the Gaian days for me) that she's thinking of killing herself. Then I got all freaked out, and tried talking her out of it almost everywhere I saw her (online, duh XD) and then she didn't. Oh wow! Then another time, she says she's gonna do it again. I totally didn't believe her. Course, my other friend, (haven't talked to her in the longest time too...) gets all upset because they had become good friends, and oh, waddya know, she didn't commit suicide.

Sometimes people say it to get attention, sometimes they don't. Sometimes people just put their foot in their mouth and say something they didn't mean to. People let their emotions get in their way far too easily. In fact, this one girl I know said she was considering suicide, and she didn't mean it, when she was talking to the school counselor. Well it turns out the counselor said stuff and the girl wound up in the mental hospital. Be careful what you say, and to whom you say it.

As for your friend, tell her suicide isn't going to help anyone, especially her. It's by far the worst choice anyone could consider. Let her know you're there for her, and you've felt down in the dumps before, but you were always able to pull through. Life wouldn't be worth living without our day to day struggles. The best things come when you deny yourself the simplest pleasure just for the sake of letting yourself know you can live without it.  

[LA Trunks]

Well... My personal thought is that a person who says that they are going to kill themselves talking like that mainly to get attention. I have dealt with way too many people who said that they were suicidal and never followed through with it. They just kept talking about it and talking about it, but they never did it. Some of them were cutters, some of them said that they had thought about trying to hang themselves, but none of them followed through with it. Yeah, they were depressed... Pretty much everybody that I know lives with a certain amount of depression, but nobody that I have ever known has ever committed suicide. I have had those people who said that they were thinking about killing themselves quite often, but my thought on things happens to be that most of the people who are willing to talk about it are the ones who aren't willing to carry through with it. Somebody who is really going to kill themselves is somebody who isn't going to talk about it all day everyday. (That is my opinion, though, so it might not be true all of the time.)  

[LA Trunks]

Now... If you want to help them out then you need to know why they aren't happy. You should probably ask them why they say that they want to kill themselves. (They may attempt to keep their answer purposely vague because they really either have no reason or they don't know what their real reason is.) If they try to keep their answer vague then you may want to ask them if they would mind going a little deeper into their reason so that you may attempt to understand them a little better. If you don't get much of anywhere then, you may want to try paying more attention to them when you are hanging around them. Pay attention to their body language (actions speak louder than words anyway). Pay attention to what makes them happy, pay attention to what makes them sad, and pay attention to when they are bored. Try to include them in what you feel will be fun for them to do, and try to do things that everybody including this friend has fun with. If they have money problems then don't try to go places that cost money. You can have just as much fun for free as you can while throwing your money to the wind.

Of course, there could be many other things that your friend could be having problems with... but I am not going to even try to touch base on any of these because I don't really feel that qualified with the other things. I will say that you should think before you make any kinds of moves when it comes to matters of the heart because sometimes you could be making the wrong move without realizing it. (I just try to leave matters of the heart alone unless it has to do with my heart.) You do need to let your friend know that you have their backs, though.  

[LA Trunks]

Oh yeah, as to why I am never completely happy... I can be a complete hypocrite when it comes to my religious beliefs and my attractions... I annoy the heck out of myself.  

[A Song Is Born]

Your all right. I just cant keep doing this. It feels like I am not allowed to be happy ever. They just suck all the joy out of me every time I hear from them. I cant keep doing it forever...
Thank you all for your help!
You all were very much helpful!

 

[run molly run]

ive actually just gone through this,
just simply let them go.
i told this girl face to face.
i dont like how yer treating me, so i dont wanna talk to you anymore or be friends. and ive beeen much happier, and she now knows if u treat someone like this yer gunna loose them
so maybe just stat shoing this graduadgly ingnor ther txts ims etc if there in yer top on myspace if you have one tsake them off and wonce thery get the hint tell them
thats what i did and it workd

best of luck! biggrin heart  

[Aralik]

depression is not very fun.
I have it.
I'm not depressed now, but its a very hard thing to go through day after day. i attempted suicide. I never wanted attention...I just wanted my memories and my pain (physical and emotional) to go away.
I kept my depressed self to myself. My friends have and had enough on their plates. Your friend seems to want attention. It would depress me to know that I was causing my friends sadness...
Suicide or attempting suicide = STUPIDITY
What I did was stupid. I have too much to live for.

I would just let her be or at least tell her the truth.

Whatever you decide is the best choice for you.  

[Nemsy]

Hmm, even if it is not serious depression, like what you said Mikey they just want attention, it shouldn't be taken for granted.

You never know what they will do.

And, knowing that someone is there for you well that should at least help out a bit. Even it it is not a lot.

But, song, you should really get somehow your friend to go to therapy. It should help.

Does her parents know about it? Even if it is not serious this is not a topic to be taken lightly.

 

[Aralik]

i forgot to put that in.

don't do anything that would push her over the edge.  

[A Song Is Born]

She is twenty and out on her own. Her parents do not really have much to do with her anymore. (she decided to date a girl and they were not very... accepting on that) She was fine over that. Very strong the entire time. Always said that it was their loss to miss out on their child's life. And that it was their choice. That if they wanted her she would let them back into her life.
Its usually relationships that get her down. "My boyfriend and I had a fight!" or "Why can I never find a good relationship!?!"
I have tried to tell her to go get some help since she was young. She has nothing nice to say about it. She is determined to not have anything to do with therapy. But she is more than willing to talk to friends and such... maybe I should get her to be friends with a psych major... <.<  

[Nemsy]

Ah. I see. That is something.

I think that's what my sister went through, but she got super upset because she had fights with her friends. Very lame.

But, yeah, you should get a friend with that major. (Mc2 is majoring in that actually)


But sounds like she needs love. And that she wants it so bad that it is hurting her.

 

[zain altaniz]

i dont know...many of us have there own weaknesses,so sometimes they emotions can break away so easily. the major factors can be stress at work, broken relationship ,remembering sad memories and others that afect emotional and mental capabilities of the person.

here's a hint, when your frustrated, don't keep it to your self, let it out to you or tell it to your best friend or parents. don't worry they'll surely understand your feelings because they are close to you.
or........go some private place and yell all you're problems to the wall.....or......get a piece of paper and write down all of it the BURN it

people let out what they don't need in there bodies, its like the same as wastes..........all of it is wastes...and i promise to you you don't need it

just do what you have to do, let it out and be free of your self...... i hope i help you with this....gud luck smile