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I don't need advice or anything.
I just need someone to listen to me.
And please read it, when you do if its not to much please post but only if you read everything.
I just need to know that someone cares enough to read this.
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As the title says, my "amazing boyfriend" broke up with me.
It was January 14th and I knew that he was going to do it, but I just didn't want to belive it.
From Janurary 6th-13th he didn't say a word to me. On our 1 month annerverisy he said a total of three words to me, "Hey, whats up." after he said that he walked off and left me all by myself. I told myself that everything was going to be okay.
We got new seats on the first day back from winter break (the 6th) in Texas History. When you teacher called out our seats we ended up sitting next to each other. My friend said to him, "Hey you still get to sit next to Jessica" And he replied "Joy." In a sarcastic tone. I told myself that everything was going to be okay.
He used to come with me to the band hall before school with me so we could hang out, talk, laugh, and just have a great time. The 6th-13th he didn't go. I told myself that everything was going to be okay.
Our math teacher lets us do our homework in class. We used to do our work together but on the 6th-13th he didn't. I told myself that everything was going to be okay.
On the 6th-13th he said 3 words to me-onn our 1month annerverisy, "Hey whats up?" I told myself that everything was going to be okay.


January 13th I had a dream. In the dream Luke was wearing his Assemblage 23 shirt and he straightened his hair. In our 5th period Texas History class we were taking notes. Luke and I were done and he pulled out a peice of paper. On the paper he wrote "I think it would be better if we were just friends." As I read it my heart sank. I attempted to hold back my tears but I couldn't. I woke up tears streaming down my face, yet I told myself that everything was going to be okay.


On January 14th Luke walked into our 1st period math class wearing his Assemblage 23 shirt and had his hair straightened. "Please, God, don't let this happen to me." I cried in my head. In our 5th period Texas History class we were taking notes. Luke and I were done and he pulled out a peice of paper. On the paper he wrote "I think It'd be better if we were just friends." As I read it my heart sank. I attempted to hold back my tears but I couldn't. I walked to my locker and slammed my Text book in it and grabed my Spanish book. I walked into the bathroom to inspect my face. I wiped the tears away and redid my eyeliner. In the hall way stares gazed at me with supprised faces. At school I had the reputation of the tough girl- the one who never expressed her emotions. But that day I was the girl with the broken heart, the one who knew that she would own the broken heart yet wouldn't admit it.


Its January 25th and my heart is in that same position-broken.
In 4th period band (I'm a clarinet and he's an alto saxaphone) our seats just so happen to be placed in the exact position to where we can see eachother. Every time I look at the clock I glance at Luke just to see him stareing at me with concerned eyes. But why would he be concerned? Why? Wouldn't he be happy? Happy that hes finally free of me. And the same for English class. I'll take a look at him and he'll be staring back and he'll even have tears welling up in eyes at times. I don't get it. Why does he look at me with a sad/concerned face? Why does he cry when he looks at me? Why? Wouldn't he be happy?

I DON'T GET IT!

I havn't been trulely happy in 12 days minus yesterday-I took my SAT test and I don't need to worry about it anymore, so I guess you could count that but, yeah.......

AHHHH

So if you actually read this I honestly appreactiate it.
Again please post if you read this and only if you read this entire thing.




EDIT 2/14/09
I was talking to my friends Sam and Chels about it last night. (Sam and Chels have gym with Luke)
Heres the story.
Luke came over to the girls(Lukes good friends with them) and was like hey whats up. Then the three of them just started talking. Eventually the conversation lead to me. Sam and Chels told me Luke got all sad and started to cry a bit. It turns out that Luke told the girls. "Whats wrong?" asked Chels. "Nothing" replied Luke. Then he left.

It also turns out hes moving to Colorado after next year (We live in Texas)

So after that I got all sad because he was sad. Then my friend said to me "What I think is that he ended it just so he wouldn't end up getting any more attached. He told me he was absoulty crazy about you. Mabey he was hoping that you would forget the feelings so you wouldn't be as hurt when he left. Because Jessica, he is a very thoughtful, sincere person and I know that you know you know it."


So I think that ends my confusin problem. neutral kinda

EDIT6/23/09
Sorry I never came back to this. I know that this is already on the second page and most likely noone but me will ever read it again but I'm bored so I'm posting an update.
So around the end of Feburary we started talking again. We get along perfectly and it's not awkard at all. We're actually closer now than when we were "going out". I may not be over him but I'm tons happier now. He dosn't have a phone of computer so keeping in touch might be hard, but we'll work it out. biggrin biggrin


HAVE A GREAT SUMMER Y'ALL

Guys are really odd sometimes. It doesn't really make sense to me, either. He's probably confused about how he feels as much as you're confused about how he feels. I hope you'll be able to smile soon.

it sounds like he still likes you he he wants you to be happy it was probably really hard for him to tell you he'd like to just be friends and thats why he wrote it on a note instead of just telling you and that's probably why it's taken him so long
i think he cares about you he didn't want to hurt your feelings

BUT lots of young guys just aren't the type that can stand being in the same serious relationship for a long period of time they'd rather date lots of different people, it doesn't mean he's stopped liking you it's just that he likes other people too

it would help you, i think, if you tried to do the same, at least then things will be more normal and less depressing for both of you and you can be friends

he probably is worried about u, and thats y he looked concerned. the best way 2 get over a guy is 2 get a new guy biggrin

You may not want anyone else but think your ex doesn't want you. Hes obviously over you so get over him. I know having your heart broken isn't easy to get over but later on in life you'll look back and say " I was sad about breaking up with that piece of trash?"
I've been in the same situation as you and look at me now. I eventually moved on and I've been dating my Arron for 4 years.

I 100% agree with that.

Lies, time does eventually mend the heart. Even if it takes many years it will.

If your heart doesn't thats because you chose not to.